> Thanx for the kind words. Tomorrow morning my mum has an appointment with
> the oncologist from the local cancer unit. The pharmacist has been up to see
[quoted text clipped - 10 lines]
>
> Will update tomorrow when i find out what the oncologist told her.
Hi J and Betsy
Just in from work and my wife updated me on what happened with the
oncologist. My wife sat in on the appointment as shes a nurse and could
explain everything to my father who is hard of hearing.
Basically the CT scan showed that my mother has a "large mass" on her liver,
2 or 3 spots/tumours on her lungs and indications on her lymph gland (where
i dont know).
After having discussed her situation she is going to try the chemotherapy.
She has to go in for 3 cycles i believe at 3 week intervals and then get
another scan at that point to see if the chemo is working. My wife is sure
that the chemo is more of a palliative thing than an actual curative
treatment.
My mother has been made well aware of the potential side effects but has
decided to give it a try. I know your friends and experience that the
treatment is physically and emotionally draining, but if thats what she
wants to do, we'll be behind her 110%.
Another day since the diagnosis and still feel like crap. Not as weepy but
im sure i'll have my good days and bad. Ive told my boss and colleagues and
have been told that there will be no problems with me leaving in a hurry if
i have to or if i require any time off. Must admit it was hard to talk about
initally when i told my workmates, but the more i explained things the
better i felt. Ive had so many people coming up to me and saying that theyre
thinking about us all and its good to know that people really do care.
Anyway enough for now. Wife told me to get out the chinese restaurant to get
dinner so off i go. Thanks again for taking the time to listen and read my
ramblings. Its good to know there are people out there who know what im
going thru, though i didnt think id ever have to subscribe to a newsgroup
like this and i dont mean that in a bad way.
Goodnight and godbless to you all. From a cold and wet scotland.
Kindest regards
Tom
> > Thanx for the kind words. Tomorrow morning my mum has an appointment with
> > the oncologist from the local cancer unit. The pharmacist has been up to see
[quoted text clipped - 28 lines]
> her oncologist talks with her) to help her with these questions. They're
> archived here.
<http://groups.google.com/group/alt.support.cancer/msg/1b25021ba108fca1?hl=e
n&lr=&ie=UTF-8>
> My thoughts will be with you all, during these next days as you hear what the
> oncologist has to say about your mother's situation. I'm sure you're mother's
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> ear.
> J
irishfolker - 30 Aug 2006 20:32 GMT
Hi Tom.
I just lost my wife in July at the age of 49 to metastatic gall bladder
cancer. She lived with it for 3+ years. The end was fairly pain-free.
I hope for the best for you and your mom and your family as well. I'll
be praying for you.
The chemo protocol sounds like it might be Gemzar and Xeloda.
Fortunately, the side effects are usually fairly mild. I hope it is
helpful.
Jeff
> Hi J and Betsy
>
[quoted text clipped - 99 lines]
> > ear.
> > J
Tom McVie - 30 Aug 2006 22:02 GMT
Hi Jeff
So sorry to hear about the sad loss of your wife. Im sure you can feel her
presence looking over your shoulder every day. I know its no consolation
whatsoever, but now she is totally pain free and is at peace. Im sure she
knew as well that you loved and cared for her right up to the end and that
she would want you to keep your chin up and carry on. I'm married 12 years
this time round and i'd imagine id be absolutely lost without my wife god
forbid anything happened to her. Its only when someone you love is diagnosed
with a terminal illness, just how stupid all those petty arguments seem. I
must admit before my mum was diagnosed, due to various committments ie work
and home, i would only see her once a week, but now that i know every day
from now on is a bonus, then i will make every effort to see her. Even if
only for half an hour each evening after i get back from the office. Once my
mother gets started on the chemo, ill let you know how shes getting on.
Thanx for taking the time to offer your thoughts when you are yourself still
grieving. My thoughts and my prayers are with you and your family. Keep your
head held high.. There are a lot of kind loving people around you and on
this forum and for me personally, it has been gratifying to find out that
there are so many from all parts of the world that can say "i know exactly
how you're feeling".
Keep healthy. Speak soon.
Tom
> Hi Tom.
>
[quoted text clipped - 99 lines]
> > > her oncologist talks with her) to help her with these questions. They're
> > > archived here.
<http://groups.google.com/group/alt.support.cancer/msg/1b25021ba108fca1?hl=e
> > n&lr=&ie=UTF-8>
> > >
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
> > > ear.
> > > J
J - 30 Aug 2006 22:05 GMT
> I just lost my wife in July at the age of 49 to metastatic gall bladder
> cancer. She lived with it for 3+ years. The end was fairly pain-free.
Ah yes, Hi Jeff,
One met to the liver and one to the ovary. (she had surgery to the ovary? and some
special procedure for the lobe of the liver?) Thanks for your post, Jeff. Tom
won't feel so alone alone here.
How are you and the kids coping, Jeff.
J
irishfolker - 31 Aug 2006 15:10 GMT
Hi J and thanks, Tom.
The kids are doing surprisingly well. They lost their natural father
last year, so they are keeping close tabs on me. They are also growing
up significantly. I am amazed at how their outlook is maturing. They
also make sure I check in every few days.
I've bought a share in a sailboat, which has brought me some pleasure
and peace of mind. It's a great escape to go out on the Chesapeake Bay
and just deal with the moment. I'm also in a support group for widowed
persons. I've met a nice widow there a few years younger than me who I
have really hit it off with. We're starting to date (dinner tomorrow)
and I think we will at least be good friends. It's early for both of
us so we're taking it slow.
As for the medical history, you remember it right, J. She had mets to
the liver (which eventually killed her) and to the ovary. Surgery took
care of the ovary and chemo kept her cancer free for a while, but it
came back with several in the liver, so we tried SIRT treatment
(Selective Internal Radiation Therapy). It didn't help as much as we
were hoping for, so she started more chemo but had to stop when she
developed a blood clot, some of which had traveled to a lung. That was
the beginning of the end. Less than 2 months later, she was gone. We
had time to make plans for the memorial service and everything, so I
feel good about being able to know exactly what she wanted and was able
to do it for her. It doesn't hurt any less, but I think the healing
will be quicker.
Jeff
> > I just lost my wife in July at the age of 49 to metastatic gall bladder
> > cancer. She lived with it for 3+ years. The end was fairly pain-free.
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
>
> J
J - 01 Sep 2006 01:57 GMT
> The kids are doing surprisingly well. They lost their natural father
> last year, so they are keeping close tabs on me. They are also growing
[quoted text clipped - 21 lines]
> to do it for her. It doesn't hurt any less, but I think the healing
> will be quicker.
Ah, thanks for the reminder, Jeff about SIRT. My memory is good but not perfect. :)
(couldn't remember the name of it).
I'm pleased to read that the kids are handling the losses well and are keeping the close
connection with you.
I didn't know Bonnie personally (of course), but I'm sure she's looking down at you and
happy that you've found another friend. I hope you have an enjoyable dinner and find a
lasting friendship, if not companionship.
Good idea to take it slow and see what develops.
I'm sure Tom will also appreciate having you here since you have a personal experience
with same type of cancer. Keep in touch and let us know how you're all doing.
Kindly,
J
alex - 30 Aug 2006 23:26 GMT
> Anyway enough for now. Wife told me to get out the chinese restaurant to
> get
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
>
> Kindest regards
Glad you have your wife to support you and your mother. Also glad to hear
your workmates are supportive. Good to support your mother's goals it
sounds like you wife will keep you all grounded. It is very difficult time
of one's life, don't be too hard on yourself. Best wishes to you and your
family,
Alex
J - 01 Sep 2006 01:46 GMT
> Just in from work and my wife updated me on what happened with the
> oncologist. My wife sat in on the appointment as shes a nurse and could
[quoted text clipped - 22 lines]
> better i felt. Ive had so many people coming up to me and saying that theyre
> thinking about us all and its good to know that people really do care.
Sorry I'm late replying, Tom.
You sounded rather in a hurry and I've been rather pressed for time myself this
week..
I hope the Chinese dinner was enjoyable.
I'm pleased to read that your boss and colleagues are supportive and
understanding of the situation and that you're getting the same attitude from
many others. If I may, if any of them offter to help, have a list, in your head
ready, and suggest something concrete. Someone to sit with your mother, in case
your father wants to go for an outing, from time to time?
It's reassuring that you all have a good grasp of your mother's situation.
Being a nurse, your wife will no doubt be a valuable resource, as treatments
proceed. The treatment plan sounds very reasonable to me. Good luck with that.
I see in later post, you intend to check in with your mother daily. I'm sure
both she and your father will appreciate that. Your mother's in good hands.
Take good care of yourself as well and gets lots of rest, as you are able.
We'll be here caring, anytime.
Best,
J