I am not checking it, but I guess simply you don't (and of course don't have
to)  remember my posts fully.
Because I think I am writing even in more details here than others. How I
could get Nystatin or Zantak
or other medication if not prescribed by a doc? The only thing was with
diflucan - when I remembered what
I got in February when I had thrush and it was appeared I had refill and it
was pre-holiday day and was hard to get
nurse and after checking here and a very solid ANCOR group, I decided to
take it.

I don't have any problem and in contrary have great respect
and trust to my MO,  I put here many times. The ENT I saw only one time. I
could not say
anything bad to him besides that he found that I need to do biopsy and
besides his humor that they kill
people there only on Tuesdays. :)

I guess I read a book about Napoleon long ago, where one of his
loyal generals report him that his wife betrayes him with some trusted man.
He thanks, punished in some way the unloyal two.  Later
the reporting general was the only one who he did not honored with medals
after
a victory. The author comments, that Napoleon could not forgive
him for telling him the bad news. :)

Thanks, I don't think it's very reasonable to do and don't want to talk
about
them specially in this ng too much. I put something about it recently in
news:1152332176_17503@sp6iad.superfeed.net, I am not sure if you
can access it from the link or how to make link to my own post through
Google,
if you have time and interest.

Child support is child support only by name (I am not talking about the
established system, but
the things I experienced after my separation and divorce in the courts from
1996-1998 and especially from 2004-2006)
and actually became great surrealistic entity by itself, it's a small part
of what you named the "can",
though they arranged a serious court hearing in ... Michigan to Show Cause
why I have so much debt accrued (while I didn't have authorization to work,
while I couldn't find job, while I was getting treatment) with possible jail
time
in both cases - if I could appear or could not appear in court. They found a
criminal!
I don't think that those who sitting there are not humans. And most of the
time their decitions
are reasonable. But I think that's one part regulated from the same Force,
who I called Invisible Hand
3 years ago. Otherwise, how to explain that they have all of my
documentation, they know what is going on,
they know that I am even very close to become absolutely homeless and they
continued to
pursue it. When I asked for at least a legal
aid, they gave me an agency, who twice screened me in detail, told me they
will call back in a week and didn't call. (It's
3 weeks passed); They said that "if your debt is to your wife and she
agrees, it can be
waived. But if it is to State of Michigan ( which is in my case) it never
waives. Absurd!
I could not get calm and yelled to him that "I am grateful to state of
Massachusetts
which provides me Medicaid, to US government which provides me SS help. Now
how
to understand that State of Michigan thinks that they both are wrong and it
can get a shirt from a naked man?"
I hate to be or feel parasite. I was thinking to try to find a job or a part
time job when this
biopsy and court hearing started to prevail my mindset. I think eventually
start to work again
and rebuild my life.
Otherwise, I lived-up all of my credit cards and same things happen
with trying to find housing in this hard period. All the agencies I asked
responded me to wait  from ... 2 to 10 years. I told them that in 2 or 10
years I may be either dead or
stood on my foot and I would not need help anymore. I need it now as
everyone knows
how is important for healing to not be in such uncertain housing situation.
But the main and hurting thing is loneless, solitude.
That was one thing, invisible walls, that was artificially raised around me
for years.
Practically I don't call and don't get call or go somewhere except my
parents and siblings and a few sporadic cases,
despite me craving to have normal friendships. ( I am not including my
efforts to participate in some support
group, some local cultural group, or even an ethical group; but that
Invisible Hand gradually create same invisible walls
aroundme everywhere). I don't have close friends, a girlfriend or wife
around for more than
3 years despite that I am very social and used to have good friends around.
That's obvious that the Invisible Hand encircled me in an area that don't
let
ordinary people come close. I know many good people, as Armenians,
ex-Russians, and American likewise.
I can bet that everyone around me, even my old and good friends, get some
command - who when how
long can they talk or meet me. So the relationships becoming artificially
corrupt. But sometimes even that is better than absolute loneless. As in
virtual prison. Why? For what? The worse part is
that some of them, especially those who are more
successful in this country and claimed  to be government agents, play a
double or triple face games
and organize others to do same which I just don't want to talk more . If I
raise my voice, there are ready and easy "prescriptions"
to all I wrote - "paranoya", "psycosis" and other vicious designs which
justifies good people to testify or go against their
will. If I go into more details, there is good statistics that I'll get into
accident or illness will go unexpedited worse et.c.
(Even a year ago I put here with some black joke that for some poets and
peoples alike there were tuberculous before
because there were not cars yet. And not so much cancers.)
But if you stay calm, someday you may get the most nasty accustations and
set-ups. OK, I'll not go farther.

Like I say always, only prayings to God and government
could be helpful when you feel most of the design.

I had naively putting my worries in my AOL
Journal and here in other newsgroups  along with my
letters to all kind of authorities and organizations,  thinking
that crying loud would make demonic designs around me will dissapear,
letting me have the ordinary life I deserve.

My job search turned to farce; all relationships
become shamefully manipulated to represent double invisible reality
I don't know for who, a "bad guy", as morally, as well politically.
The content of my medication was changed. Doesn't matter - from my
appartment,
from the pharmacy or from my car, eveerywhere there were visible signs
of almost everyday intrusion to my appartment ( and everything else -cell
phone, phone, mail, email et. c.)
and making strange smells which caused headaches and unsleepy nights (I
don't insist and don't have
prove but couldn't it be the cause of the rare cancer to me?). My old
computer
deliberately broked as soon as I started to use it, which had a lot of
messages from
those my friends who claimed to be government agents. It was like a Woland's
games
from the "Master and Margarita" I experienced. Like O'Brien's friendship and
tricks from "1984".
Like the "Beautiful Mind", if we understand the film in the way that it was
indeed
were serious attempts initially to try to create second reality as if the
Nash is indeed a "bad guy".
The only substantial change I got in that cycle from 2003-2005, was that
after my complains in 2004 nobody was talking
about that "my life is in danger", "I'll be killed or jailed if I stay in
America" et.c. which I have
in my complains to authorities of the time. And the next change was this
cancer,
even the treatment of which was posptoned for months due to the
manipulations
which affected greatly on my first clinic's unhealthy behavior.
And mainly from late December, when I ended up in hospital and felt very
bad,
I felt that that "social cancer" started to express humanity and melt away
by itself.
(Actually it can do it anytime - as if it's not there)
That helped very much to my healing and I started to forget all of it and
hoped
to a normal life.
But it appeared that it just was waiting for something and started in recent
couple months
to show itself again.  I an very patient, but it hurts when I see the
fakeness and
agendas around me, that left me in my late 40ies lonely, almost next to
homeless.
And that's not started with cancer, but deliberate "social cancer", for some
political
or psycological agenda.

Ugh!

You are right, Alex. Are you from Boston area?
I simply don't like to post names and places in my posts,
especially when I have something negative said. The MGH
was different because I feel  it was lifesaver for me.
I know that both are fine places.
I wrote about my experiences before and don't think
it make sense to recall; Actually most of my problems are about
with Nose-Throat-Ears, so it's good to "get along :) " with a regular ENT.
They all are good professionals, the question is not about that.