Yes, it is the American way,  also the Finish and German way since they are
the ones who did the study on Taxol.  It must be the Australian way too
since it is being offered
http://www.breasthealth.com.au/types/metastaticoptions.html.

My mother died in 1993.... which is 13 years ago -cancer treatment has
changed.   My mother wanted the radiation treatment, it was her choice. In
hindsight I would have liked to have been more informed.  I don't know what
transpired behind closed doors.

Also it is the American way that  a complete history and clinical exam is
given before dispensing diagnosis and treatment plans.   I would hope that
other international communities support a clinical exam and treatment plan
in person, not on the internet by qualified health care personnel.

I am really upset that my mother's story has been distorted.  I wonder how
different my mother's situation would have been treated in Canada.  Once you
have advance cancer do they just send you home to die?  Are palliative
treatments ignored?   I fail to see how the "American Way was at fault".

Here is the story of my mother's illness.

In 1993 my dad broke his hip  - age 88. My parents had to have their house
remodeled so they could live independently.  Both my parents came to live
with my family that summer. My mother was age 79- under a doctor's routine
care. She was still driving and completely functional working part time in
the town hall.

After living in my home for  over 3 months, my parents moved back to their
home 20 miles away. The second night they where home, I got a call from the
police that I needed to pick up my father since my mother passed out and
probably had a stroke.  By the time I got my father settled and  found some
one to look after him. I went to the hospital to see how my mother was
doing.  By that time I got to the hospital my mother was able to talk. They
did  not have the results of the CT Scan yet.... but she did have a lesion
on her brain and the doctor told me her xray was abnormal. After a
bronchoscopy the diagnosis of lung cancer was made.

Once again my parents came to live with me and my family.  This was very
hard since my Dad needed 24 hour care,  my husband and I both worked and my
children were school aged. My sister who was overseas came home and she
would transport my mother for radiation treatment.  About  2 weeks into
radiation treatment which was clearly palliative to prevent another stroke
like event which was under control with high dose steroids she had a massive
GI Bleed in my home.  Since it was Saturday AM - my children were home. For
those of you who haven't had the experience of a GI Bleed it is rather
dramatic in its presentation.....blood all over the place and the smell is
something you will never forget.  I felt , it would not be fair to my
children to have my mother home  with a GI Bleed. I knew at this point it
was the beginning of the end.  Remember 3 weeks ago my mother was driving
and fully functional.  I purposely called a private ambulance after calling
the oncall MD at my mother's local hospital. I explained the situation to
the doctor and he agreed to admit my mother for palliative care.  I choose a
private ambulance since my local ambulance would only take my mother to the
local hospital.  When the ambulance arrived, they feared my mother was dying
and would only take her to a local hospital.  By the time I got to the
hospital they were transfusing blood and was moving her to the ICU. The
local hospital had access to the radiation oncologist records since the
radiation treatment was taking place at that hospital. I remember paging a
colleague from the hospital (an oncologist) asking him for advice, he told
me that she may have some time since she was so recently diagnosed.  Once
the dust had settled, my mother was lucid, the decision was to discontinue
the blood transfusions and not have surgery to correct the GI Bleed.

When I had posted the reference to my mother and radiation therapy,  it was
in reference to radiation treatment (if my memory serves me correctly).   I
was upset that the radiation team, knew how fragile my mother's condition
was yet this was not communicate to the family. Palliative radiation for my
viewpoint did more harm then good.  I speculate that if she didn't have the
radiation, she may have had more quality time with the family and not
suffered the effects of radiation.  Remember I have responsibilities for my
children and aged father. My mother died in less than  6 weeks of diagnosis.
I asked to take a leave at work and they denied it, I applied for the family
leave act which got approved after my mother died.

Normally,  I would have just quit my position, but at the time my husband
was facing a possible lay off. Once again I felt the responsibility towards
my children to have a steady income and health insurance for them and was
working, being a caretaker to my father and children.
Thank God my husband was my partner in all this. Yes, this is the American
way, please share with me how the Canadian system would be superior ?  Does
Canada have a magic way of predicting illness?  Are all the doctors
wonderful communicators in Canada? Are you telling me that the radiation
doctor would have told us her palliative care was futile ? Please if you are
going to quote me , I tell the whole story.

Sorry, to be so long winded, but I feel the whole story needed to be told.
Obviously the cancer was very aggressive and was killing her.  She had a
very rapid decline every day after radiation to the brain. Radiation was not
kind to her.  My mother was very proud to be an American . Why do Americans
continually get bashed on this support group?

PS : My parents bills where fully cover with Medicare and their supplemental
insurance.

Socks had thought he was beginning another round of chemo when the
reports came back & his doctor told him no more treatment - time for
hospice. Kaiser, at least, knew when to fold 'em.  Socks knew himsef that
he had turned a corner about that time. We agreed with the doctor's call.

It was much different with my mother in the 60s.  I'm not clear about who
exactly didn't know when to stop, but, in retrospect, someone should have
several surgeries prior to her death. She never left the hospital after
they began the last round of endless, futile surgeries.

I don't know what about "The American Way."  Some obviously do get
overtreated.  Sometimes it's not clear if quality time lies ahead.  Socks
went through some bad times with 3-4 good days out of 7.  But then he'd
find another stretch of quality.  We were never sure what the next week
or month would bring, so we always seized those good times. We are
pleased with the medical treatment he received & are glad it supported
his going on as long as he could. I am equally glad they gave him
permission to stop when it became futile.

Fig

Nothing in this post is true, J - but thanks for misleading everyone.
I normally don't post in this group any more but have made an exception
in this case.  You can find me over in alt.support.cancer.breast if
you'd like.

1.  Deborah doesn't have 'cumulative peripheral neuropathy'.  She has
peripheral neuropathy as a side effect of her current treatment - which
is Abraxane + Herceptin.

2.  She gets treatment every three weeks, not weekly.  She has 4 bad
days out of every 21, not 4 out of every 7.

3.  You never hear a peep out of her because she doesn't read Usenet.
I have my support resources, she has hers.  We respect each other's
privacy and both of us have 'safe areas' where we can vent that the
other doesn't read.

4.  I put a positive spin on things because Deborah's been a Stage IV
breast cancer survivor for seven years next month.  At dx her
oncologist gave her 6-12 months so she is indeed a medical miracle.

Hi All, thanks for all the imput guys. The way Em, has discribed the
"knocked for a six" is the way I meant it, literally had the stuffing
knocked out of her.
Saw her oncologist today, says that the liver is looking worse rather than
any better so won't be giving her any more Taxol, but will try another
chemo - not sure what yet, will find out next week.
I know the future looks pretty bleak with this, but also believe where there
is life there is hope.  Only found out she had this 3 weeks ago and so are
still trying to come to terms with it all.
Thanks for the help.
Barb