Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Cancer / January 2006
Not going well anymore
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46erjoe - 18 Jan 2006 04:24 GMT Well, it was inevitable as they say. My latest CTscan showed new tumors in my lungs, enlargement of those already there and significant enlargement of the big one in my liver. My onc says it's not a crisis thing, but he seemed rather pessimistic about things. I've already run the gamut of all the well known and better working drugs. Now he's putting me on erbitux + irinotecan but said he had to tell me that only 20% of patients on this regiment see shrinkage or stabilization of tumors.
I'm resigning my position in a few weeks and going on disability. We think we've found a "retirement" home and hope to settle in to some quality of life-time ahead.
I'm not really that bummed out myself, as I expected this eventually. I'm more concerned for my wife and kids. Fortunately, my cancer has been relatively slow-growing overall (I was d/ged in Nov of '03), so I should enjoy many months ahead of peace and quiet and relief from the pressures of my work. Maybe we'll do a little travelling and finish restoring that musclecar I've been working on the past 10 years.
--joe
alex - 18 Jan 2006 04:56 GMT Joe sorry to hear you news, thought you had quit already, enjoy your life. Do things you always wanted to do, best of luck, Alex
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Alayne - 18 Jan 2006 08:02 GMT > Well, it was inevitable as they say. My latest CTscan showed new > tumors in my lungs, enlargement of those already there and significant [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > > --joe Hello Joe,
I'm really sorry to hear that your results show further growth, even though you can half expect it, it still comes as a bit of a shock. I think it's a good move that you quit work and spend some quality time with your family. If your wife ever needs a shoulder to lean on, she can always call in here and we can offer her a Hug too.
Warm Hugs
Alayne
Emily - 18 Jan 2006 08:43 GMT 46erjoe@whoknows.net said...
> Well, it was inevitable as they say. Sad. You were doing so well I'd almost forgotten why you were here :-(
J - 18 Jan 2006 09:04 GMT > Well, it was inevitable as they say. My latest CTscan showed new > tumors in my lungs, enlargement of those already there and significant [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > think we've found a "retirement" home and hope to settle in to some > quality of life-time ahead. Yes, Joe, over 2 years you've been here with us. I know you'll be busy but hope you'll pop in from time to time. Best wishes, I'll be thinking of you and yours, *hugs* J
Odette (AKA Odie) - 18 Jan 2006 18:01 GMT Hi Joe,
I am sorry to hear the results. I just got the same the other day. Leaving family is the worst part about us leaving them. I feel bad for my Mom, Brother and my other family. I know we are going to a better place and we will see them again, but that doesn't help much. I am trying to find a place that will take me rather than my dying here at home. I don't want my husband to watch me go and when I am gone, I sure as heck don't want him to see me in a hospice bed every time he comes home.
I will keep you in my prayers. Know we are here for you.
(((((((((((((((((((Joe)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Odie
> Well, it was inevitable as they say. My latest CTscan showed new > tumors in my lungs, enlargement of those already there and significant [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > > --joe 46erjoe - 18 Jan 2006 23:00 GMT Sorry to hear your news too Odie. I'll pray for you too.
Ya know, in the midst of all this, I have to say that I look upon life as a gift from God. I did nothing to earn it. Now that the time is coming to give it back, I can't complain. I'm in my late 50s so I've seen a lot of life and a lot of the world. I've accomplished things I though I could never do. I've felt love more than most. I'm not exactly looking forward to it, but when I do die, I know it will be a good day to die.
I have a pet interest in astronomy and astrophysics (my hero is John Polkinghorne http://www.polkinghorne.org/) and can't help but believe that all that universe above us is there for a purpose. I can't quote scripture and verse but there is something inside me that pulls me to believe that it's all a big playground. I'm looking forward to having fun.
But... I ain't dead yet!! And there's still plenty of living yet to do. In typical I Love Raymond fashion, I told my wife that now we have to have as much sex as possible ;-)
Life is good.
Did you hear about the man who thought he was dead? This guy firmly believed he was dead, even though he was a living, normally-functioning human being. Well, his wife persuaded him to visit a psychiatrist, who tried in vain to convince him that he was in fact alive. Finally, the psychiatrist hit upon a plan. He showed the man medical reports and scientific evidence that dead men do not bleed. After thoroughly convincing the man that dead men do not bleed, the psychiatrist took out a pin and pricked the mans finger. When the man saw the drop of blood trickle down his finger, his eyes bugged out. "Ha!" he cried, "Dead men do bleed after all!" --An argument used by christian philosopher William Lane Craig [http://www.leaderu.com/offices/billcraig/menus/] to illustrate the power of pre-suppositions)
On Wed, 18 Jan 2006 18:01:18 GMT, "Odette \(AKA Odie\)" <oyuhas@cfl.rr.com> wrotF:
>Hi Joe, > [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] >> >> --joe Figgertoes - 19 Jan 2006 04:45 GMT "Odette \(AKA Odie\)" <oyuhas@cfl.rr.com> wrote in news:Onvzf.7911$Zj7.5966@tornado.tampabay.rr.com:
> I am trying to find a place that will take me rather than my dying > here at home. I don't want my husband to watch me go and when I am > gone, I sure as heck don't want him to see me in a hospice bed every > time he comes home. Hi, Odie,
Have you discussed this with your husband? It's your & his decision, of course. Maybe you want to leave familiar surroundings as part of the process? Everyone's different, but please consider your choices carefully.
From my own experience: The last week I spent with Socks at home was one of the most tender times of our marriage. Of course, we had no way of knowing it would be his final days. Yes, he needed constant care & monitoring. But he got up & sat in a chair regularly - on his own, I was able to bathe him on a shower chair (he developed a deep need for cleanliness) & most nights he wanted to sleep with me & our kitties in our bed. Hospice bed was 2 flights down in family room, but we got him upstairs & comfortable. We had dinner guests the night before he was transferred to the hospice pain control center, where he died a few days later. The quality of our time together was far greater at home than in hospice. We even went to a Broncos football game that week (amazes me now to think of how we managed). He spent 1 night of that week in a nursing home where he became confused, upset & agitated. That was a very long night for me. He became childlike, wanting/needing his mommy (me).
Staying at home does require constant care & a lot of people can't manage that or maybe don't want it. Socks had his Aunt Ruth who moved in with us for the last 2 months, She administered his meds around the clock - it's demanding work. She engaged him in games when friends visited, kept him company while I worked. She was away when his pain levels required that he enter the hospice center. We had planned a home death, but things don't always play out as planned.
You will choose what is right for you, Odie. I only hope you consider all your options & discuss with a number of people (hubby at top of list).
All my best, Fig
Pen - 19 Jan 2006 19:12 GMT > "Odette \(AKA Odie\)" <oyuhas@cfl.rr.com> wrote in > news:Onvzf.7911$Zj7.5966@tornado.tampabay.rr.com: [quoted text clipped - 42 lines] > All my best, > Fig Just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate this post. I've been trying to find out what the last while will be like to be prepared and no where have I found better information that what you just gave. Thank you so much!
I do plan on being at home but, as you say, things have a way of happening so we'll do what needs to be done at the time. I do hope I'll be able to be here until the end.
Have you watched the movie the "Notebook"? Told Michael that I would like to die that way :) Unfortunately, life isn't like the movies but we can dream.
:) Cheers, Penny
clifto - 19 Jan 2006 21:14 GMT > Have you watched the movie the "Notebook"? Told Michael that I would like to > die that way :) Unfortunately, life isn't like the movies but we can dream. > :) I'd like to go the way my uncle did. Retired from the railroad with a NICE pension, healthy, great marriage, great kids, nice garden he was proud of, and golf any time he felt like it. He was on (IIRC) the seventh tee when he raised his club, had a blood vessel burst in his brain and he was dead before he hit the ground.
 Signature If John McCain gets the 2008 Republican Presidential nomination, my vote for President will be a write-in for Jiang Zemin.
Figgertoes - 19 Jan 2006 04:52 GMT > Well, it was inevitable as they say. Joe,
Yes, inevitable, but a bit sad too. Are you going to the Adirondaks? Some travel may spice your life. Socks looked forward to every trip. They energized him. I hope you enjoy lots of quality time with friends & family. It's an important time. It looks like you're poised to make the most of it.
You are in my thoughts.
Many hugs, Fig
46erjoe - 21 Jan 2006 02:25 GMT >> Well, it was inevitable as they say. > [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] >Many hugs, >Fig Ahhhhh... The Adirondacks... heaven on earth (except during black fly season when it's the opposite). I don't know how this new drug regiment will affect me. Fatigue is one major side effect, so is bad acne... so I may end up like a couch potato teenager. But with no more 60-hour workweeks I could hike at as slow a pace as I wish.
Although we may move soon, I certainly will continue hanging out at this ng. The people here are great blessings to me, 'specially you Fig. Thanks.
--joe
J - 21 Jan 2006 10:20 GMT > I don't know how this new drug > regiment will affect me. Fatigue is one major side effect, so is bad [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > Although we may move soon, I certainly will continue hanging out at > this ng. Good to hear, Joe. Maybe we can get to know you better now that you're retiring.
Lowkey was on Erbitux = his last line of treatment. He'd been on irinotecan as part of a combo earlier. J
AR George - 27 Jan 2006 08:48 GMT > Well, it was inevitable as they say. My latest CTscan showed new > tumors in my lungs, enlargement of those already there and significant [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > > --joe Joe,
Darn it! I thought things were going so well for you. Shoot - what can we say. The second course of chemo, I just got done with used irinotekan [haven't heard of erbitux]. The big side effect for me was nausea, but we are all different. At least the neruopathy didn't get any worse.
I hope you find the peace and quiet you are seeking and that your time with your family is truly blessed. There is nothing better we can leave our families with that wonderful memories of the time spent together. Others have asked the questions I wanted to. Please know that you are in our hearts and prayers.
HUGS
George
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