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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Cancer / January 2006Bone cancer questions.
I'm 50 years old, and have just found out that my mother has secondary bone cancer, the original cancer was in her breast wich was removed about 10 years ago. I've spoken to a doctor (though not the specialist yet), and have been told that she has maybe 3 to 6 months to live. I dont know what to expect, and dont know what to do. Is there any hope whatsoever ?, if conventional treatment is useless, is there any chance of alternative treatment working ?. I have three daughters, all in their early to mid twenties, is there anything they should do for their own wellbeing ?, should my sisters, or for that matter should i (i'm male). I am trying to prepare myself for what i've been told is the inevitable, but i've no experience of cancer whatsoever, can anyone offer guidance or better still some hope ?. Thanks all. It sounds like your mother has breast cancer with mets to the bone. Survivability has improved in recent years with breast cancer with bone mets. Your mom must be in her 70's and the doctor could be basing the 3 to 6 months based on other factors in her health status. You sister and daughter would only be high risk if there is a family history, considering your mother is the only person in the family they would not be considered high risk. As a male you are at no risk. What can you do, when the time is right make sure your mother get the proper care, which could include hospice. There is an use net group for breast cancer. Alex ( Breast Cancer, Survivor) >It sounds like your mother has breast cancer with mets to the bone. >Survivability has improved in recent years with breast cancer with bone >mets. We've been told it's not survivable at all, are you saying there might be some hope ?. >Your mom must be in her 70's and the doctor could be basing the 3 to 6 >months based on other factors in her health status. As far as i know she has no other illnesses. She has just had a hip replacement because of a fracture, this incidentally is how the cancer was detected. Up until just a few weeks ago she was walking 10 miles or more each day, but has complained of "arhritis" for a few months. Her doctor was treating her for this. >You sister and daughter would only be high risk if there is a family >history, considering your mother is the only person in the family they would >not be considered high risk. Unfortunatley there is a family history. >As a male you are at no risk. OK, thanks. > What can you do, when the time is right make sure your mother get the proper care, >which could include hospice. >There is an use net group for breast cancer. Alex OK, ill look for it. Thanks for taking the time to reply. > I'm 50 years old, and have just found out that my mother has secondary > bone cancer, the original cancer was in her breast wich was removed [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > inevitable, but i've no experience of cancer whatsoever, can anyone > offer guidance or better still some hope ?. Hello Paul It's hard to know if your mother's exhausted all her options or unable to tolerate some of the breast cancer medicines (counter-indicated) or if she really only has 3-6 months to live. Stay with us a bit, until after she's been to the specialist. I hope you'll be able to go with her and prompt her with some questions and write the answers down. Print up the "Common drugs used in cancer treatment" listed here http://www.cancersupporters.com/faq.html If none of those are possible for her to take, then you may wish to have her seen by a radiation oncologist who can very probably help relieve a lot of pain. The rest (Pain, palliation etc) would be dealt with through MacMillan nurses who, I believe can also be a great support resource for the family members. We have folks from UK here who've had experience with same and would probably be helpful to you. So stay with us a bit and if it turns out that the first doctor is incorrect, you can share treatment and side effect experiences later, over on the breast cancer newsgroup. When's the appointment, please? J >Hello Paul >It's hard to know if your mother's exhausted all her options or unable to >tolerate some of the breast cancer medicines (counter-indicated) or if she >really only has 3-6 months to live. >Stay with us a bit, until after she's been to the specialist. I will, you can be sure of that. >I hope you'll be able to go with her and prompt her with some questions >and write the answers down. I wont be able to go with her, it would frighten her so much if she knew i was going with her, and if i just turned up would frighten her even more. My sister is going though, i will meet the doctor later and ask questions then. Print up the "Common drugs used in cancer >treatment" listed here >http://www.cancersupporters.com/faq.html >If none of those are possible for her to take, then you may wish to have >her seen by a radiation oncologist who can very probably help relieve a >lot of pain. OK, thanks. >The rest (Pain, palliation etc) would be dealt with through >MacMillan nurses who, I believe can also be a great support resource for >the family members. We have folks from UK here who've had experience with >same and would probably be helpful to you. >So stay with us a bit and if it turns out that the first doctor is >incorrect, you can share treatment and side effect experiences later, >over on the breast cancer newsgroup. I'm hoping that the 1st doctor is either incorrect, or has given us the worst case scenario. >When's the appointment, please? Friday, no doubt i will have more questions after this appointment. Hello Paul (see below) > >I hope you'll be able to go with her and prompt her with some questions > >and write the answers down. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > even more. My sister is going though, i will meet the doctor later and > ask questions then. Well, due to patient confidentiality, I don't think it would be possible for you to meet with the doctor later (nor call). Hopefully your sister will collect as much information as possible, so the family knows what to expect and can be prepared to help, as required. > [...] > I'm hoping that the 1st doctor is either incorrect, or has given us the > worst case scenario. Well, another lady (similar situation but 10 years younger, but met/spread to liver), on the breast cancer newsgroup was told 1-2 years. So they launched her on chemotherapy and she passed away ~7 months later. I'm sad to see that I've lost track of another one, who was in similar situation. She's not posted since last July. > >When's the appointment, please? > > Friday, no doubt i will have more questions after this appointment. Thanks Paul. We'll be here. Most of us know what it's like to lose a loved one to cancer. J Are you a physician? i am new in this group > Are you a physician? > > i am new in this group it would help if you would include some of the post you are replying to. We have no idea who you are addressing.  Signature*The trouble with life is the lack of cool background music Bob in Carmel, CA > > Are you a physician? > > > > i am new in this group > > it would help if you would include some of the post you are replying to. We > have no idea who you are addressing. Hi, Dakikos, >From the posting order, I think you are asking is J a physician. She is not a medical professional, but she's a whiz at gathering relevant information at lightening speed & telling people what they need to know. There's a super-abundance of info 'out there' that can become overwhelming as you try to hone in on what is pertanent to your situation. J knows or finds out, boy does she! Steph is a seasoned radiology oncologist. Mike Radcliffe has a medical background. J often speaks of a 'soft place to land' for information & support. As far as I'm concerned, this NG is that. Professionals & fellow travelers are caring & helpful here. You're in good hands. Just ignore the kooks & snake oil salespeople. hth (hope this helps) Fig Thanks I misseed mentioning who was the message for. It was intended to J since I see her (now I know J is a womn) in many of the subjects). She seems to know wher to find the information. What i do not see here is suggestions for alternative treatments that make sense. The other day a person was advertising some product made with phytoplankton, and severa of the participants made negative comments about it. I ahve a dea friend with ca pancreas, he is 52 ,arried with 3 kids, one sstill in grade schoo and 2 more in college. he went thru the reagular treatmnt i.e. : surgery (whipple), radiation, and chemo: 5FU and gemzar and leucovorin After 11 months of diagnoses, the Ca came back, now metastized to the liver. They plan to put in a clinical trial which may add 6-7 more months of life, since rally there is nothing out there for ca pancreas. is there another group that deals with laternative treatments. Any help will be appreciated. http://www.safalra.com/special/googlegroupsreply/ > I ahve a dea friend with ca pancreas, he is 52 ,arried with 3 kids, one > sstill in grade schoo and 2 more in college. he went thru the reagular [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > ca pancreas. is there another group that deals with laternative > treatments. Any help will be appreciated. You could check here ("P" for pancreatic) http://nccam.nih.gov/clinicaltrials/alltrials.htm or go ask on the ACOR lists http://www.acor.org/mailing.html?l=c cam-onc and http://www.acor.org/mailing.html?l=p (pancreatic). When you join each list, select digest mode, otherwise one receives too many individual messages. The "list owner" (moderators) will email you as to how and when you can start sending a message or searching their archives. J >Well, due to patient confidentiality, I don't think it would be possible for >you to meet with the doctor later (nor call). Hopefully your sister will >collect as much information as possible, so the family knows what to expect and >can be prepared to help, as required. I hadnt thought of patient confidentiality, ill just try later, but thanks for the warning. >Well, another lady (similar situation but 10 years younger, but met/spread to >liver), on the breast cancer newsgroup was told 1-2 years. >So they launched her on chemotherapy and she passed away ~7 months later. >I'm sad to see that I've lost track of another one, who was in similar >situation. >She's not posted since last July. The way im arranging my mind is that she could go at anytime, thats the best way to handle it for me, try to make the most of any time left. Obviously im hoping for years, but realistically i have to accept that it could be anything from a few weeks to a few months. My main concern is that shes as happy as she can be given the circumstances, and that she doesnt suffer. >Thanks Paul. >We'll be here. Most of us know what it's like to lose a loved one to cancer. Thanks. > I hadnt thought of patient confidentiality, ill just try later, but > thanks for the warning. Yes, well, if she's end-stage and/or not well enough to communicate, certainly someone will be doing the communicating with doctors. Otherwise, her wishes have to be respected. > The way im arranging my mind is that she could go at anytime, thats the > best way to handle it for me, try to make the most of any time left. > Obviously im hoping for years, but realistically i have to accept that > it could be anything from a few weeks to a few months. I suppose that's a good way to approach it and if she does better, all the better.. > My main concern is that shes as happy as she can be given the > circumstances, and that she doesnt suffer. I understand, paul. Will be here awaiting news. J . > I'm 50 years old, and have just found out that my mother has secondary > bone cancer, the original cancer was in her breast wich was removed [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > > Thanks all. Assume the doctors are right, they usually are although times must only be seen as loose approximations. Whatever treatments are likely to help will be offered, this will most likely be palliative in nature (comfort measures) and will probably have little impact on survival time. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of people out there who will only to willingly offer hope (at a price) where there is none. Try not to get too emotional about the cancer word. As we get older we are more likely to get a terminal illness and at some point this is inevitable. Cancer is just one of those inevitable diseases and is no better and certainly no worse a condition to deal with. How you and your sisters deal with it is something only time will tell. Largely it is up to your mother to take the lead and for you to support her in any way you can. MIKE >Assume the doctors are right, they usually are although times must only be >seen as loose approximations. I thought as much, but obviously was hoping there may be some other possibility. >Whatever treatments are likely to help will be offered, this will most >likely be palliative in nature (comfort measures) and will probably have >little impact on survival time. I thought some treatment may give her more time, shows how little i know. >There are hundreds, if not thousands, of people out there who will only to >willingly offer hope (at a price) where there is none. OK >Try not to get too emotional about the cancer word. As we get older we are >more likely to get a terminal illness and at some point this is inevitable. >Cancer is just one of those inevitable diseases and is no better and >certainly no worse a condition to deal with. I am dreading dealing with it. >How you and your sisters deal with it is something only time will tell. Badly i suspect, but i know i have to be strong for her. >Largely it is up to your mother to take the lead and for you to support her >in any way you can. >I will certainly do my best. >MIKE Thanks Mike. .com... > >Assume the doctors are right, they usually are although times must only > >be [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] > > Thanks Mike. I have helped so many families look after their loved ones with cancer over the last 14 years I've lost count and certainly couldn't remember the names of more than a tiny fraction of them but what I do remember is that almost without exception, no, without exception they all found a strength and a resilience that got them through even the worst of situations. I have never ceased to be amazed at what people with no previous experience can learn to do and I have no doubt you will manage too. I think that is a large part of the kick I get out of palliative care. Golden rule....keep your sense of humour. MIKE >I have helped so many families look after their loved ones with cancer over >the last 14 years I've lost count and certainly couldn't remember the names [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >do and I have no doubt you will manage too. I think that is a large part of >the kick I get out of palliative care. >Golden rule....keep your sense of humour. >MIKE Thanks for this reply, and all of the replies from everyone else, i will take all of the advice and guidance on board. There had been a misunderstanding by me over the day that mam was being seen by the specialist, it is tomorrow (Monday), she was being seen by a different specialist on Friday for her hip. Ill update the group tomorrow. Once again, thanks for all the help. My mother saw the specialist yesterday, and she said that mam had more than two years left. Certainly not what i was expecting to hear. This left me feeling upbeat, but at the same time deflated, a very unusual feeling. Upbeat as its a much better diagnosis than i was initially told (and expecting), but deflated as its confirmation by a specialist that her life expectancy is limited. I'm very very happy that there is some positive news, but cant help wondering why there is such a difference in the life expectancy suggested by two different doctors. Does anyone have any suggestions as to the possibilities for the differences ?. Radiotherapy will start shortly, and drug treatment will start today. Mam can't remember the drug (maybe someone can suggest what it's likeley to be), but i hope to find out shortly. Thanks all. > My mother saw the specialist yesterday, and she said that mam had more > than two years left. [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > suggested by two different doctors. Does anyone have any suggestions > as to the possibilities for the differences ?. One doctor's experience, having referred patients to palliative care, after their having gone down the road that your mother's just starting ? (just a theory). > Radiotherapy will start shortly, and drug treatment will start today. > > Mam can't remember the drug (maybe someone can suggest what it's > likeley to be), but i hope to find out shortly. I would think a bisphosphonate (bone reinforcing drug), but there's also hormone blocking drugs, if applies in her type of breast cancer, may prevent recurrence in other breast or slow down spread to other organs, is my non-expert understanding. Some are mentioned here http://www.bccancer.bc.ca/PPI/TypesofCancer/Breast/breasttreatment.htm but I don't remember if the UK names are different from the Cdn or US medicine names. I've good news for you, since you may be asking various breast treatment related questions, Tim, on alt.support.cancer.breast is the main replier there and he's from UK. His wife passed away from breast cancer. Her story (link) is somewhere off their FAQ. So ask for it, when you post there. (that's not the good news, what I mean is he's been there, done that and is very helpful to breast cancer patients or loved ones. They don't especially like crossposts, so Tim usually sets followups (reply) to their newsgroup, so if you have a question that you think might be replied to by Steph and Tim, best to post them separately (but do remind us of the details). And when the time comes, for end of life care (or something unexpected happens), we'll be here for you as well. And so I hope you'll introduce yourself on alt.support.cancer.breast Best wishes for your mother's hip healing and if you need us, we'll be here. J Thanks J, ive visited the link, and read it briefly, ill visit again and read more thoroughly when im not so tired. Thanks also for your support and help, and for taking the time to reply. Ill take your advice and visit alt.support.cancer.breast. Thanks > I'm 50 years old, and have just found out that my mother has secondary > bone cancer, the original cancer was in her breast wich was removed [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > > Thanks all. Patients with bone mets from breast cancer have a median survival of about 20 months. But you'll only get the real details from the oncologist >Patients with bone mets from breast cancer have a median survival of about >20 months. >But you'll only get the real details from the oncologist If we could get another 20 months, we'd be very pleased. Thanks for replying. Ill let the group know the specialists thoughts. Hope this may help someone in the future. > >Patients with bone mets from breast cancer have a median survival of about > >20 months. > >But you'll only get the real details from the oncologist > > If we could get another 20 months, we'd be very pleased. "median" means 50% do better and 50% don't do as well. J |
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