Greetings

I have posted in the past while I was waiting for results.  Well here they
are:

CUP - cancer of unknown primary origin. They could not pin point cancer to
anywhere in my body - is this odd???

The PET scan found 3 pea size nodules (2 in left lung and 1 in right)  It
also picked up the 2 squamous cell carcinoma skin lesions on my back.

I will be starting chemo next weds ( My birthday) for some reason I found
that almost funny.........I will do Carboplatin and Palitaxel for the first
treatment.  Then only one for the following 2 wks, 1 wk off and 5th wk see
doc.

Anyone else here diagnosed with this sort of cancer?  I have read about it,
and what I found was minimal and didnt sound too promising.  I have decided
to quit reading things on the "NET"  I am switching dr.s The one that
diagnosed is not the one I preferred, and luckily I was able to see the
preferred one in passing in the hall, and was able to switch to him (he
treated my husband for colon cancer) The first dr told me that left
untreated I would be looking at 3-4 mos and treated 1 yr.  The preferred
said "we will talk"  He said he has patients in remission etc etc.

I am healthy, 43 yrs old, no symptoms except for the 4 lesions on my skin
that led a dermatologist to pursue things a bit further, thus finding the
internal stuff.

I am scared about starting the chemo, mostly it is out of not knowing what
to expect.  I am worried that his prognosis is accurate...........But one
thing I have determined, I am NOT giving up or giving into this.  Some have
said maybe the original origin is gone, from all the prayers and belief in
god.  I really do not question that, with the will of god and those around
me, I hope to beat this.................

I do find myself crying uncontrollably at times however.  Then I am a bit
better and I get angry and say to myself "put those tears to better use, use
them to fight this".  How have any of you dealt with these feelings, along
with the scared, depressed, hating, angry roller coaster ride I am
on............

Thanks for listening and sorry for the rambling..............