Hi Sharon,
Just to review, so the others know, he's 59 years old, an alcoholic and a
3-pack/day smoker who had bleeding and a blockage was discovered. He's lost a
lot of weight; I don't know what his originall weight was; but 8 pounds in 10
days is a lot.

We have to respect his wishes. All you can do is be supportive, which does not
necessarily mean going to the hospital every day. I know what's that like and it
can sure tucker a person out.   I realize that you have to "be there" (ie
supportive, listening, caring) for your husband; but with your other parental
responsibilities; is there someone else in the family that can take some of the
responsibility of his father on them? Take turns at the hospital?

Perhaps the investigations will reveal more. Or perhaps they'll have to do
exploratory surgery. I don't know if he can survive that, but if that's his
wish; perhaps it's for the best that he know exactly which cancer that he has.

Trust yourself, Sharon. Don't let this pull you down too. If you cannot do it
all or you start swinging out of control, insist that some caregiving be hired
for his recovery at home and possible ongoing chemo treatments.  There's only so
much that one human can do.  I think you'll know the right time to discuss this
with your husband.  If they cannot afford it, perhaps he's best in hospital (if
it's covered).

Above all, every night, tell yourself, no matter what you do (or don't) that you
are doing the best you can for everyone involved and take care of you first. Get
as much rest as you can.

Thank you for updating us. I appreciate your taking the time.
Many hugs to you all,
J