Thank you for your very kind reply, Socks.  I visited your website, I
thought you are a handsome man.  I also enjoyed reading about your life,
your trips, your wife, and everything you have accomplished.  My husband and
my decision to not have children has many of our family members who won't
have anything to do with us.  But, if they will turn us away because of
something like that, they aren't the sort of family we would need anyway.
We come from the south, I am the oldest of 2 girls, I had a younger brother,
but he killed himself.  Since as long back as I can remember, I have been
chronically depressed.  My mother has even told me that even at age 3, I was
trying to jump out of trees to end my life.  I would tell her I wanted to go
to Heaven, and that I was so sad.  I don't remember any of that, but I do
remember being punished for being so depressed.  I'm not upset at my
parents, they were older parents when they had us, and they grew up with
whippings and switchings and such.  So whenever my mother would find me
depressed, which was always, I was always punished.  She would tell me to go
cut my own switch, that I would be punished with.  Then the rule was that
when my father got home I would also have to be punished by him.  So I have
a very negative view of being a child, and I would never go through that
again.  Being depressed as an adult, and all through my life, I would never
want to pass that on to anyone else.  I have been on every medication, shock
treatments, you name it, nothing has helped.  So I deal with it the best way
I can, being older I see life differently, and I find that helping other
people takes my mind off myself, and also makes me feel good.  So I am an
animal rehabilitator, taking in abused animals, restoring their health, and
adopting them out to good homes.  This is great therapy for me.  Also if I
know of a sick person, I like to make up a fruit basket for them, and if
they have cancer, I will find out what they do like to eat, and send a
basket of their favorite food over to them.  This is what helps me cope with
life, by helping others, no matter how small it might be.  I know I must
have been born with something wrong, to have suffered life long depression
as I have.  My husband is great with helping me along with this.  He keeps
telling me I'll find a special rainbow one day and everything will be ok.
Rainbows are something I love, and I'm always looking for them.
We love to feed the squirrels, and wild birds, and we also have some deer
that come to eat.  Life is what you make it I guess, so I try to turn my
negative feelings into something positive for someone, or some animal that
needs me.
We are not rich people, so the comment from my neighbor Ruth kind of hurt.
I don't see why I should buy anything new when my older car still runs.
Plus it's cheaper to get the little things on it fixed, than to have a car
payment every month.  We get by paycheck to paycheck, and we would love to
be able to take trips like you, if circumstances change and we can afford
to.
Today was kind of hurtful once again, because Ruth was nasty to me because I
had my female dog spayed.  I did this when she was a puppy, and I did it for
her own good.  She stays inside, and I never wanted her to be able to have
any kind of female cancer.  So Ruth tells me, "why force your way of life on
your dog?"  "why not at least let the dog have babies?"  "Are you that much
of a cruel person?"  So I thought, yeah I'm gonna get one of them stickers
Socks was telling me about.
I lost my brother to suicide in 2001.  He was also depressed all of his
life.  Whatever I have runs in my family.  My sister also takes
antidepressants.
I am going to take J's advice and not be afraid to go outside for fear of
her saying something to me.  I'm going to just be nice, no matter how she is
to me.  That way I have no regrets.  My conscience would bother me way too
much if I didn't return kindness to her, no matter how she is to me.
My father beat his cancer when they told him he only had a 15% chance of
living 2 years.  He's been in remission for over 5 years.  He is 68 today.
Nobody expected that.  So I truly feel blessed.  These are the things I
choose to think on, what I have instead of what I don't.
My husband and I have a St. Jude child we sponsor.  Also we give to the
Ronald McDonald house.  So in a way we do have a child, a very special one,
who is benefiting from us.  That is a wonderful feeling.
I just wanted to thank you for your kindness to me, and for being who you
are.  I have been reading your posts, and it's something I will continue to
look forward to reading.  You seem to embrace everyone, as they do you.  I
would be honored to be able to call you friend.

Our best wishes always,
Sharon & Mike, and our dog Diamond