What a ride...
J

I'm with your dad.

figgertoes has come up with flax seeds. she grinds them in a coffee grinder
and mixes them with heated apple juice. taste is something like cinnamon
apple oatmeal. until recently that twice a day, coupled with a stool
softener, was adequate.  I went to the infirmary on ship. they came up with  
Dulcolax, which worked very well.  I'm taking another stab at it. Let's
hope it isn't one of those things that you build up a tolerance for and it
stops working.

Kaiser has a pain clinic.  I have to call them today for an appointment
the minute that I get back.

Now I want to vent about that pain clinic for a moment.  You can't do
anything about it, but venting will make me feel better.  I'm then going
to look at my state legislature and figure out the best way to help
Kaiser feel my pain.  They're about to learn the political cost of screw
ups when the patient has a BA in political science and has been lobbying
legislative bodies for 25 years (I have one governor's pen hanging on my
wall for a bottle bill and one successful local initiative, on tobacco,
as it happens).  Actually, I take that back.  I may ask for a few brief
notes of support shortly sent to targetted legislators.

The day before leaving on the trip, I went to my onc for a percocet
refill.  That is oxycoden mixed with tylenol.  He was worried about the
amounts I was taking, consulted with the pharm there, and switched me to
straight oxy. We then discussed going to their specialized pain clinic.  

He said that if the pain was bad enough, I had the option of scrubbing
my trip and going there immediately.  He had supposedly talked to them
and they had an opening Monday.  

So I called. The pain clinic said that while they saw my onc's referral,
they had no openings for six weeks.  Okay, no point in scrubbing the
trip. The appointments person wanted me to talk to a nurse before
setting the appointment. That struck me as a logical next step.  By this
point, I am getting in the bus to the airport.  I get routed through to
voice mail for the nurse there.  I explain the referral, the reported
six week wait, the fact that I was heading out on a cruise, and the fact
that I would fly back in on Mar 23. I advised them if they could move it
up, they could set an appointment for anytime after the 23rd,
preferrably avoiding a conflict with a Mar 25 morning C/T.  Anything
else on my schedule was easily movable and lower priority.  I called
again from the Denver airport, then from the Charlotte North Carolina
airport when I am changing planes. Voice mail both times. Both times
again advising them that I was hoping for a post Mar 23 appt asap and
that I was (now) out of town. I then land in Tampa, Florida.  It is now
after office hours on Friday, Mar 11 in Denver.  Since I was having
difficulty walking great distances, and wheel chair bound passengers get
some special handling when going through security, figgertoes decided
that I should have a wheel chair at the various airports.  While being
pushed from the gate to baggage claim, I call my voice mail to see if
they had left me an appointment.  They had.  Ignoring everything I told
them about my trip, they set the appointment for the following Monday
where I would be on ship, at sea with no way to phone them except $15
per minute ship to shore phone[1]

[1] - I once used ship to shore in an emergency, and both I and
figgertoes knew this was expensive, and for emergencies only.  The ship
also has an internet portal that charges 55 US Cents per minute.  A
couple of days into the trip, figgertoes was griping about the cost with
some casual acquaintances, but happened to mention that while she
thought the cost was exorbitant, at least it was substantially less than
the telephone.  One of the people on the trip asked what that cost was,
and proceeded to turn a nice pasty shade of white. She had been using it
for casual talks with her husband every night, for 40 minutes at a time.  
Her phone bill by that time had probably exceeded the cost of the trip.  
I'm reminded of a quote I saw once: "Some people are like Slinkies...not
really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you
see one tumble down the stairs."

We now return to my regularly scheduled venting.

I have an aunt who lives in Tampa. I love her dearly.  She took me into
her home my junior year of high school when my dysfunctional family life
got to be unbearable.  She is now 82, retired, and living in Florida,
but maintaining her LPN nurse's license.  She was meeting us at the
Tampa airport before the trip, and I'm staying in her house now for a
few days after the trip. When I go downhill enough that figgertoes will
need help caring for me, she's offered to fly out to Denver and help
provide that terminal care.

She knew a screw up when she heard one.  I sent an email to Kaiser
authorizing her to speak for me and share medical information (this is
now after hours late on Friday).  She agreed to call Monday and sort
things out. She did. I get to call Kaiser today and find out if she left
anything standing in her wake.  One sincerely hopes not.  I have a note
on my to do list to add her to my living will as a person authorized to
make decisions for me after I'm out of it mentally.

You would think that Kaiser staff would actually read notes from
previous patient contacts.  25 years ago, I helped write the Blue Cross
NY medical surgical claims system.  We included a notes screen where the
gist of every patient phone or mail contact was logged. We also had a
VIP flag. That got set when the patient communicating with Blue Cross
was either the person who chose the insurance carrier(s) for their
company or else understood the system well enough to make life miserable
for Blue Cross when screw ups happened. My objective now is to find out
if Kaiser has a VIP flag on their system and get it set for me.

Anyway, end of vent.  More when back in Denver. I can't tie up my aunt's
phone.

I announced that when I and someone else at the table with similar luck
ended up jointly owning the ship, we would give raises to all the dealers,
with the exception of the dealer currently dealing cards for us, since he
wasn't as "helpful" as the others.  Laughes all around, as if we were
kidding.