Gracie died last Wednesday at about 11am.   I was told she was
peaceful.   The hospital had to increase her morphine because she was
struggling to breathe.

I'm so grateful that I had seen her just a few days before she was
hospitalized.   I knew in my heart that would be the last time I'd ever
see her - except in the dream I had last night.

My idiot brother did cause problems yet again.   He wanted the money
left in Gracie's bank accounts so that he could buy a car and then he'd
be able to take care of mom.   I refused mom's request to give it to
him because I knew that Gracie's biggest concern was that mom be taken
care of.   Mom said that she'd be taken care of by Paul but he needed
the car.    I feel I have a moral obligation to Gracie to pick up where
she left off as far as dealing with paying mom's bills.   As a result
my mother is mad at me and refused to see me or talk to me.    Paul
changed the services and told me and my aunt (The one who used to go
over to help) that we were not welcome (his words were that we had to
get the F$$$ away or he'd call the police)   IT's more involved but the
bottom line was that between him and mom I was told I could not attend
the services for Gracie.

I gathered with a few family members on Saturday that were also banned
and we just celebrated life.

I will open a special account and pay mom's bills until the money runs
out.   If Mom dies before that happens the rest will be donated to
hospice or the American Cancer Society.    I'm doing this for Gracie.

I'm in grief counselling as of today.

Last night I had a dream about Gracie.  She was driving in a big fancy
car in a beautiful park that had a central green.   She drove by me and
I ran after her to catch up and I was calling to her.   She was far
ahead of me and slowed, stuck her head out the window and SMILED! (She
so seldom smiled)  she waved at me and said,  "I'll see you another
time."  Then she drove off.   I was heartbroken.

I was standing there crying after her and a man came up to me and asked
what was wrong.  I told him I had lots of questions for her - and I
wanted to know if she had ever been happy.    He just told me that
she's happy now and that's what matters.

I will believe that she is happy now.

I thank you all for being here.

I wish you all well, health and peace. And as Gracie said, I will see
you another time.

Glo