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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Cancer / November 2004Experiencing Difficult Times ?
Experiencing Difficult Times ? During Difficult times there is a great means of support afforded by a Faith in Jesus Christ. I do not support or propose the use of Faith in God as a substitute for seeking appropriate Modern Medical Assistance for Health Care Problems but that instead it be used as a good support system in assisting you to acquire knowledgeable people to assist you in your time of Medical need, and to assist in providing the encouragement and support that are so important when facing any major dilemma. Currently in the U.S. over 30 Medical Colleges offer courses on the Religion and the treatment of medical disorders. Its merit as a support mechanism is well proven and documented, and while not all wish to avail themselves of its merits (or for that matter even see someone else espouse them) I find a high percentage of those that do try it, find solace and support there. Christian Fellowship - join today and receive 3 inspirational Christian Fellowship emails per week designed to enhance your walk with Jesus and inspire your Christianity and support you during your difficult times. Subscribe today and unsubscribe at any time you wish. To subscribe simply reply with the words - Please Subscribe me to your Christian Fellowship Emails in the subject or Body of message. Christian Fellowship Cocoa Beach, Florida Dennis C. dcasaonva@cfl.rr.com >Experiencing Difficult Times ? > >During Difficult times there is a great means of support afforded by a >Faith in Jesus Christ. [29 lines snipped] Do you think you could put some kind of string in the header, something like "[GOD]" so that those of us who think religion is a sad and pathetic joke, especially for those dying of a disgusting disease, can killfile the postings without having to be nauseated by them? Thanks.  Signature"The road to Paradise is through Intercourse." [email me at huge [at] huge [dot] org [dot] uk] >> Experiencing Difficult Times ? >> [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > Thanks. Do you think you could be a little less pointed? Many of us know that God is real and take just as much, probably more, offense to you calling Him a sad and pathetic joke, as you do in reading a post which you did not wish to. In many circumstance God is who people turn to and who pulls them through, or is their only comfort as they are preparing to pass away. I don't know what makes you so angry about this post, you read it because you were looking for something to help, as are others. A simple request to put God in the subject line, without the vitriol would have sufficed nicely. George [20 lines snipped] >Do you think you could be a little less pointed? Many of us know that God >is real and take just as much, probably more, offense to you calling Him a [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >something to help, as are others. A simple request to put God in the >subject line, without the vitriol would have sufficed nicely. I find your religion offensive. As offensive as you do my vitriol. I note that despite your continued proselytising, you have failed to comply with my request. Not a problem. My killfile is most commodious. Signature"The road to Paradise is through Intercourse." [email me at huge [at] huge [dot] org [dot] uk] >I find your religion offensive. As offensive as you do my vitriol. > >I note that despite your continued proselytising, you have failed to comply >with my request. Not a problem. My killfile is most commodious. So is mine... goodbye to you, huge. Into the commode with ye. SignatureCharles > [20 lines snipped] > [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > I note that despite your continued proselytising, you have failed to comply > with my request. Not a problem. My killfile is most commodious. Huge, I think I complied with your request by including "God" in the return subject line, it gave you a chance to read the message or not - it was up to you. I don't think I am proselytizing, at least not in the sense that I am urging folks to join one faith or another, I am simply sharing what or who has helped me through a difficult time. It is your decision to kill-file me, not a problem for me since you don't share much that I find of interest, and I don't share that much either. I will continue to urge folks not to give up and share what information I can to help people when I have something that I can contribute. BTW: Back in 1977, when I went through POW school in the service, one of the hard and fast statistics the a non-christian instructor shared with us was people who were taken as a POW were 4 times more likely to come successfully through their time as in captivity if they had faith in God than those who didn't. This isn't an opinion of mine, it was a fact presented after years of careful data gathering and analysis. It also wasn't presented in a quiet church, but in the field interspersed with a lot of "colorful" language that one does not necessarily associate with church. George > On Mon, 8 Nov 2004 13:24:48 -0900, Huge wrote > [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > I think I complied with your request by including "God" in the return subject > line, it gave you a chance to read the message or not - it was up to you. Maybe it needs to be at the beginning of the subject line? I know my newsreader filters "is" "starts with" and "contains", but if I recall the "contains" doesn't work very well. Like me, he may also have a feature called ignore or delete thread, then he can totally ignore what we're saying here. J > I find your religion offensive. As offensive as you do my vitriol. How about spending some of your vitriol on "doe" on sci.med.diseases.cancer. Many newsgroupers know to ignore his posts, but for those who don't he can be very dangerous. It has been claimed that at least one person, bled themselves to death. (thinking that would cure them of their particular disease). Go ahead, call him a fuckwit please. J > > I find your religion offensive. As offensive as you do my vitriol. > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > Go ahead, call him a fuckwit please. > J OT: I so love that phrase, it sure evokes a smile!! Alayne > OT: I so love that phrase, it sure evokes a smile!! Me too, it's one of my favs :-) J >> I find your religion offensive. As offensive as you do my vitriol. > > How about spending some of your vitriol on "doe" on sci.med.diseases.cancer. > Many newsgroupers know to ignore his posts, but for those who don't he can be > very > dangerous. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > Go ahead, call him a fuckwit please. > J I had hoped to draw him out a little further and really have some fun with him, but my wife told me to play nice, or I couldn't play at all. Must be annoying to show up for a battle of wits only to realize one is unarmed at the last moment. I guess his only response could be to perform a rectal cranial inversion and tamp firmly. If he is an ostimate, it shouldn't be difficult to thread that pencil head through the drain opening and plant it firmly in the ostimal opening, should be more than enough room all round. MHO - George >>> I find your religion offensive. As offensive as you do my vitriol. >> [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > >MHO - George Oh George you R too much his type tend to tick me off and I am already on probation for my last act of not being nice also. So I have to keep it down but he is is a real Richard Cranium, a ron of sorts. You my friend make me smile . Take care. CCKMA Frank (aka) "stew" > >> I find your religion offensive. As offensive as you do my vitriol. > > > I had hoped to draw him out a little further and really have some fun with > him, but my wife told me to play nice, or I couldn't play at all. Well guys, Frank and AR George, if you're speaking about Huge, he's a right to be here, his father has a GBM. So yes, play nice and we'll all try to put up with each other (with different styles of communication and different beliefs, ok? Best, J We're all carrying heavy burdens here. --Joe >> >> I find your religion offensive. As offensive as you do my vitriol. >> > [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] >Best, >J _________________________________ "Take a little 5FU, leucovorin and oxaliplatin for thy stomach's sake." -- 1 Timothy 5:23 (adapted) >We're all carrying heavy burdens here. >--Joe [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >>> I had hoped to draw him out a little further and really have some fun with >>> him, Not a chance. Straight into the killfile. >>> but my wife told me to play nice, or I couldn't play at all. >> >>Well guys, Frank and AR George, >>if you're speaking about Huge, he's a right to be here, his father has a GBM. >>So yes, play nice and we'll all try to put up with each other (with different >>styles of communication and different beliefs, ok? Okey-doke. >"Take a little 5FU, leucovorin and oxaliplatin for thy stomach's sake." -- 1 Timothy 5:23 (adapted) Grin. Nice. Signature"The road to Paradise is through Intercourse." [email me at huge [at] huge [dot] org [dot] uk] >>>> I find your religion offensive. As offensive as you do my vitriol. >>> [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > Best, > J J, I will not deny that Huge has the same right as anyone else, other than spammers, to participate in this group. I can be mad a hell at someone, but I'd still give them a hand up if I could help out. It's a pity that Huge is unwilling to observe and let others use what helps without comment, it's difficult enough for those of us who are trying to get through this to deal with it - without intrusions like his. Your point is well taken that his Dad has GBM, I've had much more difficulty with my family than with the disease or anyone on the medical team. If all I had to deal with would be the cancer, this would be a snap (compared to the difficulties involved with dealing with family members and other "interested" parties. I'll continue to see if I can add anything to the mix, without taking the focus away from fighting against the main culprit, the cancer. Thank you for being there to referee. George > It's a pity that Huge is unwilling to observe and let others use what helps > without comment, it's difficult enough for those of us who are trying to get [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > focus away from fighting against the main culprit, the cancer. Thank you > for being there to referee. Thanks George, What are the family problems? Negativity? Or not getting out of your way when you are hving side-effects or not understadning the extrra fatigue or why you can't keep up. If you feel a vent is in order, go for it. There's lots here who will understand - may even have suggestions. Best, J > Thanks George, > > What are the family problems? Negativity? Or not getting out of your way when > you > are hving side-effects or not understadning the extrra fatigue or why you [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > Best, > J Thank you J, Big breath ... My step-father (who is also a wonderful person) is a physician (GP with a specialty in internal medicine). When they found out I had cancer they wigged out. Dad cited some survival numbers and as more tests confirmed mets in liver and lungs, dad kept letting everyone know that my chances of survival were diminishing with each new revelation. Mom, who is strongly christian, felt her faith collapsed and wondered why God would let such an awful thing happen to her son. Mom had dealt with crohns (?SP) for some 40 years and is the one who taught me to fight until I win. Dad is still pessimistic, even though my chemo oncologist is saying things look very good, he continues to cite some pretty depressing stats on long term survival. No matter how optimistic I am, I can't seem to shake them of the doom and gloom mind set. My wife keeps asking why this is happening to her, and breaks into tears at the drop of a hat. When I had my surgery the doctor came out and let everyone know that the surgery had gone well and that the margins were clear with no lymph node involvement. She let the family know that there was just not enough left to save the anus or spyncter and I would be an ostimate. Going into the surgery I told the doctor that I wanted the best chance for a long term recovery and if that meant a permanent ostomy, we would deal with it. Everyone was feeling pretty good about the surgeon getting it all with no lymph node involvement, until my wife started crying, saying I was going to die. Nothing anyone could say made any difference. We have also had some trouble with her thinking that she has been taking time to help me during recovery. I've tried really hard not to be a burden and hold up my share of work around the house during treatment, and she was almost never home. She went and did her summer activities, with my blessings, (why should she have her summer ruined because I needed treatment) and between myself and the rest of the family I got to treatments and tests. I know that this is tough on everyone involved and I understand that diagnosis and treatment of the disease are just the beginning. I've given it my all to suck it up and do everything I can to not be an inconvenience to anyone, even though the family is being very supportive and insisted that they drive me to treatments and tests. I'm very apprecative, but they treat me like I'm going to die any day now. My base assumption is that I'm going to live a lot longer and have a full life. I guess my main problem is their negativity. I simply can't conceive of any outcome other than full remission and living each day to it's fullest. Thank you listening to the rant. George > > Thanks George, > > [quoted text clipped - 56 lines] > > George Oh George, I am so sorry that everyone is being so pessimistic around you. Caring for someone with a cancer diagnosis is indeed a tough job, but no tougher than you fighting the illness. We all react in different ways: some are very brave and strong, others go into denial and there are some that particularly can't deal with it. It sounds a bit like your family fall into the last category. Personally I support you for being optimistic and hopeful. We are all really on a limited time at the end of the day and it is down to us to make the most of the time that we do have. I suppose that the only advice I could really offer is to try and tune your ears out to their woefulness. Here, we know that you are giving it your best shot and we know that you are there guns blazing. Warmest Hugs Alayne AR George wrote, >Big breath ... My step-father (who is also a wonderful person) is a physician > [quoted text clipped - 47 lines] > >George George, You are doing fine. I think it is more difficult on the family than the patient. I guess they feel they will be left behind to grieve, and the pain left to them. I go through the same things and when I offer to rake leaves, or do some chore, everyone is like "you need to rest". This is frustrating on the days I feel good. Hang in there George, and God Bless! > <sniipped but read> Thank you listening to the rant. Hello George, I'm sorry this is happening in/to you and your family. I wonder now, if you would consider listening to them? What I mean by that is validating their thoughts and feelings by listening and hearing. I would have a private sitdown with "Dad" and say "Dad, I realize that you are a doctor, I value your thoughts and opinions and I am ready to hear you out". Take some paper and pen and take notes. Let him say what he has to say. Then it's your turn to express your thoughts and feelings to him. Ask him to respect your wishes and please stop the negativity as it's affecting the whole family and contributing to unhappiness for you. (at this point, he is listening to you and validating your thoughts and feelings). As Alayne said, we're all on limited time, so you could tell him that you realize your diagnosis is a serious one, but for all you know another family member could have a heart attack or vehicle accident and die before you and nobody's "going on" about that possibilityl (perspective, perspective) Thank him for his input and that you will take his comments under consideration and if he has other future thoughts to please share them with you. Then ask him if he would please take your mother to a pastor at the Church or at the Cancer Centre chapel to give her a refresher course on faith. Ever heard of "Lord, give me strength"? Her faith gave her strength to get through life with Chron's, God did not give her Chron's, nor you cancer. Her faith can help her get through your cancer no matter what the outcome, but I think she needs to hear it from a non-family member. Your wife sounds a little depressed and may even feel guilty for continuing her summer activities and is trying to justify to herself that she has helped you along the way. She sounds very mixed up in her emotions. I would arrange a weekly sit down with her, sitting face to face, holding hands, and ask her to express her thoughts and feelings to you and you "validate her feelings" by listening. It's explained here http://eqi.org/valid.htm Then switch roles and she listens to you, then hopefully you end with a hug and kiss and promise to "meet" and talk again. Don't mention depression because it might "invalidate" her feellings. See how a weekly half hour session of the above goes and if that doesn't help, offer to go with her to her doctor to see if there's a mild medication that might help. That's your mission, should you choose to accept it. FWIW J Ditto from me. Lambaste cancer, not people. --joe >>> Experiencing Difficult Times ? >>> [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > >George _________________________________ "Take a little 5FU, leucovorin and oxaliplatin for thy stomach's sake." -- 1 Timothy 5:23 (adapted) |
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