Hello Dianne,

Sorry to hear that things have moved fast for you.  Perhaps when she moves
on to palliative care they will be better equipped to cope better and your
mother in law will feel more comfortable.

It is very upsetting to see those that we love go through this, but as you
say your husband is very strong and you sound as though you are too.

Hugs to you all

Alayne

Dianne,
I think you have to ask whether the chemotherapy is doing more harm than
good.......

Hugs now Dianne,
A valid/competent palliative care unit should be able to advise you (and/or
your husband/daughter) what to expect.
I was wondering (once she's been moved there), if you or your daughter could
call and ask for a consult appointment to discuss ASAP these matters while you
are all together?  I would not like to hear of your husband's having to drive
home alone after such a meeting.  Indeed, after assessing her and her chart,
perhaps they can you give a (approximate) timeline?  Then perhaps you and your
husband would know when you would want to stay closer by? Or when your husband
might need to take time off work, or when you would have to find optional
assist for your mother's care?

Some hospitals will allow (or have) cots or lazyboy-type chairs, so that family
can take turns staying with the patient, so there's always someone there. They
did when Dad passed away, so we each took turns, sometimes we were all there at
the same time, especially when we wanted to ask questions of the nurse(s) or
doctor(s).  So do have someone take charge for the sake of your husband (and
all).

What to expect depends on many things...
http://www.palliative.org/PC/ClinicalInfo/NursesNotes/ManagingAscitesInPC.html
This web page mentions difficulty moving the patient due to the weight of the
ascites (fluids)
Possibly bowel blockage for same reason.
(Possibly jaundice depending on how badly her liver is affected. - I'm adding
this because I know of your MIL's liver involvement).
Possibly difficulty breathing due to the fluids and bloating.  I expect she
would be on oxygen (02)
If there's pain, they'll provide good pain relief.
I expect a palliative care unit will know how to deal with all of these (and
anything else which might arise).
They have special drops for the eyes and gels for the lips and would show you
(or others) what to do to help with the dryness.

So perhaps she'll continue to deteriorate and gently slip away.It varies, if a
person's heart isn't 100%.
the nurses explained what they were watching for (urine output and signs in
Dad's extremities). The feet and lower legs start getting darker as circulation
gets poorer. The breathing gets deeper for a few days and then sometimes
there's a few hours where the patient seems to be getting better (breathing
better) and then the breathing rate slows and suddenly stops. As I said, it
varies so do talk to the nurses when you're there.

My thoughts will be with you.
J