A bit of light relief to take your minds off your day to day
troubles...

A wealthy old lady decided to go on a photo safari in Africa. She
took her faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the
dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund
discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about, he notices a leopard
heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of
having lunch.  The dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!
Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately
settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching
cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly,
"Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more
around here."  Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-
stride, a look of terror comes over him, and he slinks away into the
trees.  "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund
nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a
nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade
it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the
dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and
figured that something must be up.  The monkey soon catches up with
the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with
the leopard, who is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here
monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that
conniving canine."

Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his
back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of
running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers,
pretending he hasn't seen them yet...and just when they get close
enough to hear the dachshund says....

"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring
me another leopard!"

I'll get my straightjacket.