Someday in the distant future, archeologists digging thru the ruins of
alt.support.cancer  will discover that steve <steve@ra88.fsnet.co.uk> had
this to say on 17 Apr 2004:

well - so far i've survived. havent hit the 5 yr mark yet, and probably
wont, but I outlived the 6 month prediction of the first doctor.

Hello Steve,
I'm in Canada. I lost my mom to lung cancer.
I was already booked to go see her/them by air, on the West Coast of
Canada for a visit and holiday.
I had no idea she had cancer, but knew she eventually would.  I knew she
smoked and her lung function was not good, but apparently she entered
hospital about 5 weeks before my trip was booked and nobody told me until
a few days before she passed away. Part of that was it took them so long
to diagnose her, and part was my Dad probably hoping she would be okay
until I got there.
So I can relate to you, in that if I had known earlier I'd have had all
these questions about surgeries, treatments, cure rates and survival. I
would have been an emotional wreck trying to cope day - day (here), not
having timely information or anyone to call.

Unless there's a surgical "cure", I would think it highly unlikely to find
long-term survivors. A few years back, I was e-mailing a nice lady on the
West Coast who had had breast cancer and thought she was cured (she'd
passed the "5-year mark").  Yet suddenly an email came in from her saying
that they'd found a recurrence (or mets) in her liver and she could no
longer e-mail with me. I never heard from her again, sadly.

I wanted to address the feeling of powerlessness and contacting or finding
out information.  It seems from other UK posters, some
patients/husbands/wives seem to want to "be in charge" and not let adult
children know the details or encourage them to contact the doctors. It
also protects the doctors from having to repeat the same things over and
over. Some may think that the information is passed along to family (and
some cases it is, and some cases it is not, sometimes because the shock of
hearing the diagnosis, the information goes in one ear and out the other
at the meetings with the doctors). So do talk to your father about the
possibility of going with them to take notes as to what the doctor says.
Especially since Steph mentioned that radiation therapy might be in your
mother's future, that may be a situation where you can be of help.

However, if your father prefers you not be there, that will be something
you will just have to accept.  It may be that once a treatment protocol
has been decided upon, perhaps you could call the doctor and ask to have a
short meeting with him/her.

On the upside of this post, your mother's cancer has been caught early
enough to determine the type and at least have time to consider and
discuss options. My mother never had a chance for radiation therapy.  So
let's see what the radiation oncologist has to say and suggest, ok?

There are probably also local support groups for family, so if you find
your mother's diagnosis, getting you down (stress, depression, sleep
problems) do look into those AND do talk with your own family physician.

We'll (I'll) be here as best I can for you.
J

6 years here,
               Marty in Oz

Hi Steve,
My mom has been recently been diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer.  She is
a non smoker so it came as a shock to say the least.  I have also been
doing a lot of looking on the web about lung cancer and have realized that
there is not a whole lot out there.  The best site by far that I have
found is www.LChelp.com.  It is a message board dedicated to lung cancer
with both patients and their family's offering help and support.  There
are people who survive this disease, even at stage IV just not very many.
Part of the problem is that by the time most people are diagnosed they are
already at late stage III or IV.  A lot needs to be done on the lung
cancer front in terms of awareness and early detection.  Lung cancer gets
very little publicity even though it kills more people than the next 3
types of cancer combined.  I was just at the THE THOMAS G. LABRECQUE
CLASSIC an event here in New York City that raises money and awarness for
lung cancer.  It was great because I met several survivors and heard
stores of several more.  The most notable is that of a woman who has lived
with lung cancer for 14 years!  It is possible to live with and beat this
disease!  Do not give up hope!