( ( ( Sinead ) ) )
You're doing all the right things. Perhaps after the psychologist, you and she
will decide that a local support group would be helpful, to meet others there
and see the various stages of mourning and how others coped and help each other
through.
Very important post.
Some do (a large part of) their mourning while the person is alive, and some it
hits like a ton of bricks suddenly after or quite a bit later.
J

Sinead, you are not alone.  I often feel the same as you.  My dad died
1 1/2 yrs. ago and he was such a wonderful person.  I still miss him
so much.
I hope your mom starts to feel a bit better.  Don't feel bad about not
noticing her depression.  People can be very good at hiding it.
You're doing a great job.

Lorene

clacy@cwgsy.net said...

My own father has been dead now for nearly 25 years (from a sudden
heart attack) and I still miss him terribly.  The tears come from
nowhere at all sorts of times, including now, reading your post.  
Yes, it does get easier, but it takes time, and 6 months isn't all
that long.  The only advice I can offer is to hang in there and let
time do what it does best, which is to ease the pain.  It may never
go away completely, but it WILL get easier and you and your mother
will be able to start living for yourselves again.  When?  Who
knows.  It's different for everyone because we're different people;
however I truly believe that for you as for me things will
definitely get better for you.  There will be bad times, sure, but
they will gradually get longer and longer apart and they won't be as
bad as they are now.  The other thing to say is that what you're
feeling is, AFAIC, totally normal and to be expected.

{{{{{hugs}}}}}

Hi Sinead,

I am sorry that you are in so much pain and sorrow.  It can be completely
devestating when we lose that we love so much.  I lost my husband (of 20
yrs) nearly 7 months ago so know something of the pain that you are going
through.  It does get easier as time goes by, although it doesn't seem as
though it ever will sometimes.  I am sure that you father wouldn't want you
to be hurting so much, you may have lost him in his body, but he is still
there in your memories and in your hearts, and will never leave.

Your mum has her own kind of pain and whilst you can comfort each other, you
are not responsible for each others actions, you can't read what is going on
in her mind so don't knock yourself for it.  I hope that her change in
medication may help her cope better.  Does she have any close friends that
she can talk to, or perhaps a counsellor?

It is so cliche, but time really does heal, perhaps not so much heal, rather
than allow you to adjust to life without your loved ones.

Losing a partner certainly leaves a gaping hole in your life but survival
instincts allow you to slowly fill that hole, and little by little memories
will raise a smile rather than the flow of tears.

Feel free to "go off on one", most of us here have done so in the past and
sometimes it is easier to speak of our pain and sorrow to strangers
particularly if they have been in similar situations.

Take care now Sinead

Big Hugs

Alayne