Darla, I'm not a woman but what you're feeling is completely normal.
Some women have a harder time losing their hair than they do losing a
breast.  I'm not gonna insult you by telling you it'll grow back - you
already know that,

My wife wore a wig exactly twice - once to find out how much she hated
wearing a wig, and once to a friend's wedding so the attention could
stay on the bride where it belonged.

It's not your fault you have cancer, Darla.  In my frequently less
than humble opinion, the lack of hair is kind of a badge of honor.

What you're feeling is normal.  It'll get better, honest - just hang
in there.

Darla,
I found the hair loss the worst part of the whole cancer experience. I
didn't cry over the loss of my breast but did cry when my hair fell out. I
think it is so visible to all - and hard to live a normal life when you are
bald.
It will grow back though. Alex

Darla wrote << Any comments or suggestions?  I feel almost ashamed raising
this,
since I know there are many out there that have such severe
side-effects. I guess I need to know I'm not the only one who might
have felt like this. >>

I had similar feelings initially.  What helped me, though, was the online
support I received before it happened.  That helped prepare me and made it
easier.  I got that support here and later in another group as well.  The
thought of losing my hair had been the worst part--even more than losing my
boobs (I had a bilateral mastectomy).  Because I was prepared, after it
happened it wasn't quite as difficult than I had anticipated.  Then there were
the positive aspects that I had never even thought of.  I have always had
difficult to manage hair.  Although it had been at a point where I liked it, it
still took at least 20 min to do each morning which was time I could have used
to sleep in on those days I worked.  Once my hair wasn't there, I had no more
'bad hair' days.  Then there was the cost--in terms of saving.  It only cost
$15.00 to have my wig washed and re-styled.  I used to pay ten times that for
my real hair--washed, woven,  permed, and cut.  Then there was the pleasant
surprise of learning that my hair dresser had been right all along--that my
head was not misshapen as I had thought.  It was very nicely shaped and the
flat part in the back of my hair was due to what she said--the way my hair
grew--in one big cowlick.  Another interesting aspect of this whole thing was
that I developed a new found empathy for bald-headed men--bald is cold in the
winter!

Darla, my wife went through pretty much the same thing.
Here are a couple of strategies she used.  First, when your
hair is getting down to pretty much nothing, ask your
hairdresser to shave the rest off.  Getting rid of it all at
once seems to lessen the shock (or at least cuts down the
time).  Second, go out and get a couple of wild-colored
party wigs.  If you're gonna be hairless try to have fun
with it.

HTH. - Tony

The responses to your post were interesting, I never realized that some
women have a harder time accepting losing their hair than losing a
breast..  Apart from knowing that your hair will grow again (it often
comes back thicker and sometimes greyer than before) you should consider
a 'cold cap' if its really a problem. Obviously you've lost your hair so
its too late to use this time, but should you need chemo again in the
future (hopefully not) this may help. These cold caps are commercially
produced (check Google under 'cold cap chemo', I don't favor any
particular brand) the idea is it keeps the hair roots cool during chemo
and slows the blood flow to the scalp through vasoconstriction, together
this prevents hair loss.
FYI, CMF for breast cancer and 5FU for colon cancer (normally) cause
very little hair loss.  Hair thinning varies between patients, very
occasionally it can be severe.  However, the drugs: Etoposide,
Ifosfamide, Taxol and Taxotere are associated with severe hair loss.  

Hi, Darla,

Under the "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade" theory:  I always
recommend to women who lose their hair during chemo that they treat
themselves to a visit to a massage therapist for a cranial massage.  It
feels soooooo good, you deserve the treat, and it is *much* nicer when
bald than when hair is in the way!

Take care, now --

Ann T.
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Darla...
Although this suggestion won't help with the emotional aspect of
this...I hope it helps you get through this.
This is a very hard thing to deal with indeed. You can cover a multitude
of sins with clothing, but once you're hair is gone..it screams "cancer
patient coming through"
A brief history...I have been through chemo twice for breast cancer. I
was dx in 1999, and went through a lumpectomy, rads , and then chemo. I
had CMF the first time and my hair thinned considerably.
This last time I was dx in Nov of 2002 and had mastectomy with recon and
then chemo treatments. I had 4 rounds of AC and 4 rounds of
Taxotere...completing all treatments 6/6/03. I seemed to do much better
this time, and the hair loss wasn't as traumatic as I thought it would
be, once it actually happened. I actually surprised myself at how calm I
was about the whole thing. I was very fortunate to have found a wig I
really liked, and looked alot like my own hair, except for the bangs,
which I never wore. I went and got it prior to my treatments starting so
they could get a good match to my own hair. {the color swatch
disappeared into my hair yes!!} I really detested all the phrases I was
hearing initially.."it'll grow back", it's only temporary", and my all
time personal favorite "it's only hair" {grrr!} But saw them in a
different light once it happened.  
I lost all my hair this last time. The first time {99-00} I spent money
on Nioxin products, as I was told this was a good idea for treatment of
my hair while going through chemo. Lots of money, and not all that
impressed with the results.
This time I heard about, and purchased a shampoo called "Formula 1"  The
company that makes it is located in Kansas.
This product is specifically made for chemo and radiation patients.
It's a bit pricey at $12.95 + shipping for an 8oz bottle. But this
contains no fillers of any kind. {substances that can clog hair folicles
during growth} I spoke to the woman that formulated this directly the
first couple times I called to order.
She'sa very nice woman. I like the idea that she has a hands on role as
far as products that are sold through this company.
She's a cancer survivor of 12 years herself, and worked with doctors and
chemists to formulate this after being dx.
She had been working on something like this prior to her dx, and was
able to implement those plans shortly after her own dx.

I started using this shampoo right before the last of my hair fell out.
She told me you really should start using this prior to your hair
falling out. It just so happens I didn't hear about this till almost
after the fact. I've been using this since Feb of 2003, and have had
great success with it.
The fact it has no fillers in it, it does not restrict the growth of new
hair.{doesn't clog hair folicles like other shampoos} The result is an
overall regrowth, as opposed to a patchy type of regrowth.
I continued to use this everyday, even though I was bald. This is great
for keeping the scalp moisturized while going through treatments.

Now that I blinded you with all the reading here...This is the
information you'd need to locate the products if you think this would
help you.
http://www.brianjosephs.com
Brian Joseph's
8012 Stateline Road Suite 201
Leewood, Kansas 66208
1-800-889-8960
Fax: 1-816-943-8857
$12.95 + shipping. It was $4 for shipping to my area. I live in
Northwest Ohio. HTH's
Take care there dear/God bless you
annie
p/s if you need anything else, please don't hesitate to ask..we're all
here to make this a little easier for you and others.

Ultimately.....we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a
freedom.

"Courage"...is *fear* that has said it's prayers.

This is a big, but temporary change in your life (losing your hair).
But remember, it is only temporary and is part of the treatment and
likely cure for you. Don't be ashamed.

My wife made a big party out of shaving her hair. Friends came from
all over and brought food (yum) and they all shaved part of her hair
off. She had lots of fun meeting this challenge head on (so to
speak). Then we all commented on what a great shaped head she has
(she really does).

I think she should show her bald head as a badge of honor, so people
will be extra nice to her in the stores, etc. But she doesn't want
to. We also threaten our kid that if he doesn't behave, mom is going
to take off her wig "in public". Heavens!