Hi Yvonne

Sorry to hear about your second primary, do you know what treatment
you are going to have this time? Treatment choices have changed  since
you last time.

I think you are entitled to your feelings especially since this is
your second time around. I am glad they caught it early.

Alex

Hello Yvonne, and welcome.

...

My very first reaction to my diagnosis was sadness but it didn't last long.

I can't advise on how you or anyone else can deal with it but I remember
that I started to learn as much as I could about bc and its treatments
which, I suppose, was a diversion because when the Breast Care nurse asked
what my reaction was on diagnosis I had to think about it. In fact it's only
my reply to her which I remember, not the actual sadness.

Your case is different because it's your second time around, your
diversionary tactics with the first can't be repeated and since you've
learned a lot about the subject that wouldn't work either!

I suggest that you accept that you have to live through the feeling sorry
for yourself, don't worry about it. It will probably go eventually. You're
in the hands of the experts, you can't do any better. It's important, most
of us think, to live your life fully and not be overtaken by being sorry -
but it can't be easy.

My mother died in August, I coped with that because she was very old and not
in the real world but I still resent certain of my brother's actions and the
bitter thoughts come to me when I'm thinking of nothing else in bed - but
not as often as they did at first. I'm confident that there'll come a time
when I realise I've not thought about him for days. I hope the same applies
to you with your own 'black dog'.

But please stay on here and contribute your experiences, they will strike a
chord with somebody who might be encouraged by not being alone in their
emotions and by learning that they probably won't last for ever.

Thanks for posting,

Hugs,

Mary