Deborah's father passed away last night...

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allan grossman - 01 Aug 2005 16:42 GMT

Some of you may remember that Deborah's dad has been battling
pancreatic cancer for the past year. Well, Dr. Nick died suddenly of
a heart attack last night.

He'd had a great week - and even went to a party yesterday. He moved
on from this life while putting his PJs on getting ready for bed, and
the end was swift and painless.

I am so grateful he didn't have to go through end-stage pancreatic
cancer, but I wish I had a little more time to spend with him as I
didn't get to say nearly everything I had to say to him before he left
us.

Anyway, he was my father-in-law and my friend. Travel well, Dr. Nick.

hugs to all -

Signature

allan

we don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.
-- Anais Nin

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lisa - 01 Aug 2005 19:26 GMT

allan,

I'm sorry to hear about Dr Nick's passing. Please accept my sympathies
and convey them to Deborah.

Take care.
...lisa

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alex - 01 Aug 2005 22:30 GMT

Sorry to learn about you loss, regards to Deborah. Alex

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Annie - 03 Aug 2005 07:05 GMT

> Some of you may remember that Deborah's dad has been battling
> pancreatic cancer for the past year. Well, Dr. Nick died suddenly of
[quoted text clipped - 18 lines]
> we don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.
> -- Anais Nin

Allen,
I'm so sorry to hear this.This is so sad. I won't say that I know how
she feels, because everyone's situation is quite different. But I do
know that sadness and the loss, as my Dad passed away on Feb 6th. He'd
been hospitalized since January 12th after a fall at home. It seemed so
very innocent when it all first happened [as he'd had other similair
falls and had come through them], but things just mushroomed after
that.
Please extend my sympathies to Deb and tell her I'll be praying for her
and her family. God bless you and your family.
Annie

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Mike - 04 Aug 2005 01:56 GMT

Allam I am so sorry for yours and Deborah's loss. Old friend we have been
around and around with this for many years.

Mike

> Some of you may remember that Deborah's dad has been battling
> pancreatic cancer for the past year. Well, Dr. Nick died suddenly of
[quoted text clipped - 12 lines]
>
> hugs to all -

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allan_grossman@hotmail.com - 05 Aug 2005 14:19 GMT

I know it, buddy. I heard about Trini's passing - I'm so sorry for
your loss.

Stick around - we need you here.

allan

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A. P. Thorsen - 08 Aug 2005 21:45 GMT

> Some of you may remember that Deborah's dad has been battling
> pancreatic cancer for the past year. Well, Dr. Nick died suddenly of
> a heart attack last night.

I'm so sorry to hear of your family's loss, Allan. At least it sounds
like Dr. Nick made his exit on an "up" note. Please give my condolences
to Deborah . . . .

Ann T.
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allan_grossman@hotmail.com - 09 Aug 2005 12:16 GMT

Thanks, Ann - and everyone ;-)

Dr. Nick had a preplanned funeral but we still ended up running like a
couple of crazy people for the better part of a week. Deborah is an
only child so we were pretty busy and I've learned that even if it's
preplanned, having a funeral is a lot like planning and executing a big
wedding but you only have two or three days to do it ;-)

Anyway, she's doing pretty well - her mom is also, and the out of town
relatives flew home yesterday. Tying up loose ends, Dr. Nick's ashes
will be interred on Thursday and then we should have the lion's share
of this done ;-)

I've learned how tough it is on the family to make all these
arrangements at the last minute, even if some of the arrangements have
been prearranged. So - my mantra du jour is to pick up loose ends so
your family doesn't have to.

cheers -

allan

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A. P. Thorsen - 09 Aug 2005 17:06 GMT

> Dr. Nick had a preplanned funeral but we still ended up running like a
> couple of crazy people for the better part of a week. Deborah is an
> only child so we were pretty busy and I've learned that even if it's
> preplanned, having a funeral is a lot like planning and executing a big
> wedding but you only have two or three days to do it ;-)

. . .

> I've learned how tough it is on the family to make all these
> arrangements at the last minute, even if some of the arrangements have
> been prearranged. So - my mantra du jour is to pick up loose ends so
> your family doesn't have to.

I may be out of the mainstream on this point, but personally, I think
this frenzied activity is more of a feature than a bug.

When my husband died, I had a general outline for a memorial service,
but had to line up friends to speak, write notes for a brother-in-law to
MC (no minister involved), etc., in addition to all the usual stuff.

If I hadn't been in a flurry, I think I would've been more like to slip
into depression in those first few days. Similar deal when my dad died
(I'm an only child, too.)

I tend to think this cultural tradition for a ceremony is just a clever
ploy to keep us busy during the first & most difficult days.

After that, things can still get kind of too quiet . . . .

Ann T.
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allan_grossman@hotmail.com - 09 Aug 2005 17:59 GMT

You know, that's a really interesting point, Ann. Thanks for sharing
it ;-)

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