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y$-z$1@ms3.org.uk - 09 Jul 2005 03:23 GMT

My wife and her general practitioner (GP) think that there is a strong
likelihood that she has breast cancer. She was due to have tests at
hospital yesterday (Thursday), but there were problems with transport
and with hospital availability, so the appointment has been set for next
week. She is near pensionable age.

What can I do to support her, with the stress of taking tests and
waiting for results, and if the results are not as hoped?

If anybody here reads the Guardian (English newspaper): there is a
series of articles by a younger woman, "The enemy within", by Dina
Rabinovitch. Is this series, and other things to read, generally
something my wife should see? Or should avoid? (She has never seen them
yet; If I tell her about them she may well not want to see them anyway).
If anybody is interested in the articles, go to
http://www.guardian.co.uk/
and search for "Dina Rabinovitch".

Thanks,
Gabriel
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Tim Jackson - 09 Jul 2005 11:48 GMT

> My wife and her general practitioner (GP) think that there is a strong
> likelihood that she has breast cancer. She was due to have tests at
[quoted text clipped - 21 lines]
> MailTo:ilh@ms3.org.uk will be delivered. Most Web browsers will use
> this address automatically)

There is our FAQ at www.cancersupporters.com.
That includes a list of useful resources, internet links and books.

The book that everyone seems to recommend is "Dr Susan Love's Breast
Book" ISBN 0-7382-0235-5. Your local library may have a copy.

The period of waiting for diagnosis can often be the worst part.

I think you have to take her lead in how she wants support and how much
she wants to research the issue. It is a big chunk for the mind to
digest all at once, and people tend to best deal with it a piece at a
time. We are talking about facing your own mortality, a concept our
culture fails to prepare us for. So there may be times when she doesn't
want to talk about, read about or think about cancer at all, and others
when she wants to know all about what is going on and informed help
would be welcome.

Do go with her to doctor's appointments etc. There can be a lot of
information to gather in a short time, and two sets of ears are better
than one. Also if you have questions prepared in advance, it helps to
have a companion to make sure all the questions get asked and answered:
the patient herself has a lot to think about and can easily miss things.

Tim Jackson

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y$-z$1@ms3.org.uk - 15 Jul 2005 02:22 GMT

> I wrote:

> > My wife and her general practitioner (GP) think that there is a strong
> > likelihood that she has breast cancer.

...

Tim Jackson responded:

> I think you have to take her lead in how she wants support

...

> Do go with her to doctor's appointments etc.

...
Many thanks for the helpful advice. Waiting for test results now.

Best wishes,
Gabriel

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