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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Breast Cancer / June 2005Hair Loss issues
I haven't posted for a while: I've been clear now for 3 years after the last bout. I'm working on a piece about hair loss, and wondered if anyone here has anything they'd share, especially thoughts on: ** Why it is that hair loss is so traumatic, when compared to actually having cancer, losing one's hair is fairly trivial, ** What advice would you give to a woman who might lose her hair during chemo, ** What was the most useful advice anyone gave you? ** Any great hair-covering hints! Thanks in advance,  SignatureSteph Davies ********************* 2X BC: 1988- lumpectomy, radiotherapy, iridium implant; 2001 - wide excision & axilliary clearance, chemotherapy FEC, radiotherapy. ********************************* > I haven't posted for a while: I've been clear now for 3 years after the last > bout. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Thanks in advance, Hi, I was told I would lose my hair, and said I didn't care. The oncologist and the nurse said it was most unusual,, most pepes care alot about losing it.....like you say, compared to the cancer it matters not...at least it will grow back... must look on it as a sign of getting better, not the sign of an illness... I don't wear a wig, they mostly look false, at least to me.. I wear a bandana...loads about now-a days, cotton is cool and don't slip...my sister wanted to get me one with a skull &crossbones on it, but her daughter wouldn't let her, she said I'd look like a pirate !!!! bless...i said I would have liked it... A friend has a daughter who has had alopesha (sp ???) since she was 11yrs old and is completely bald, she wears a baseball cap in summer and a bandana in winter...Far worse for her, sensitive age and good chance it's permanent.....just got to count your blessings and suffer the joshing ...being called Balders or Baldrick.....better to laugh than cry....it's a shock when you take off the cover for the first time in front of friends... they say I look 'normal' with a scarf on....no-one cares now-a-days...anything goes....some women do it from choice.. It's all about attitude and confidence.(or bloody-mindedness!!!) whatever, it don't matter.... There's always pepes worse off Be thankful Just my humble opinion Pam xx > Hi, > I was told I would lose my hair, and said I didn't care. Good for you! > The oncologist > and the nurse said it was most unusual,, most pepes care alot about losing > it.....like you say, compared to the cancer it matters not...at least it > will grow back... must look on it as a sign of getting better, not the > sign > of an illness... Absolutely. > I don't wear a wig, they mostly look false, at least to > me.. They not only look awful they can be uncomfortable (I've had to wear them for events), they can be unreliable and they don't fool anyone. > I wear a bandana...loads about now-a days ...my sister wanted to get me > one with a skull &crossbones on it, but > her daughter wouldn't let her, she said I'd look like a pirate !!!! So what? You should go with your own desires, not others'. > .....just got to count your > blessings and suffer the joshing ... Or rather deflect the joshing on the joshers. They should learn that not everyone has your fortitude and that they shouldn't do it. after all, who's perfect? > ....no-one cares now-a-days...anything goes... I don't think that's true but we'll only get to that happy state by being blatantly bald. > .some women do > it from choice.. > It's all about attitude and confidence.(or bloody-mindedness!!!) > whatever, it don't matter.... Yes. YES YES YES YES YES! > There's always pepes worse off Far, far worse off. > Be thankful Well said. Smashing post. Mary > > Hi, > > I was told I would lose my hair, and said I didn't care. [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > everyone has your fortitude and that they shouldn't do it. after all, who's > perfect? HI... They wouldn't do it to any-one else- they know that it's our weird sense of humour... I'm worse than them...it really is funny some-times...May-be I gave the wrong impression...they never laugh AT me they laugh WITH me....> > > ....no-one cares now-a-days...anything goes... > [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > > Mary >> > .....just got to count your >> > blessings and suffer the joshing ... [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > some-times...May-be I gave the wrong impression...they never laugh AT me > they laugh WITH me....> er - at what? Bald isn't funny, it's just - bald. Spouse is never laughed at or with because he's bald. Our babies were never laughed at or with because they were bald. It's like having hair, really, neither funny nor serious. Mary > >> > .....just got to count your > >> > blessings and suffer the joshing ... [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > > Hello mary Sorry this is getting deep.... No-one laughs at any-one because they are bald....It's just our sense of humour, like the fact that I have hogged my horse's mane (Clipped it all off) cos I couldn't plait it (because of the surgery) and it grew out of control, Bobby told folks it was because I was jealous cos she'd got hair... Just little things to share and to put things into perspective.... Like when we walk into the hospital (Tomorrow 5th chemo, 1 to go) he tells people that he's brought me out for the day!!!! Not every-one understands or appreciates our irreverent sense of humour.....I give more than I get, believe me....... Pam xx >I haven't posted for a while: I've been clear now for 3 years after the >last bout. > > I'm working on a piece about hair loss, and wondered if anyone here has > anything they'd share, especially thoughts on: My wife handled it well, didn't let it get her down at all as far as I could tell. The wigs were a mistake, though, really expensive and uncomfortable at a time when being as comfortable as possible is paramount. Go with lots of cheerful bandannas. I worked as a visiting nurse and I wore a wig so I wouldn't deflect from the patients issues. The cheaper wigs were just as comfortable as the expensive ones. Hair loss was the pits for me. > ** Why it is that hair loss is so traumatic, when compared to actually > having cancer, losing one's hair is fairly trivial, It changes your public image, so it raises the issue of cancer, which is otherwise a private bodily function, with everyone you meet. > ** What advice would you give to a woman who might lose her hair during > chemo, Get it cut short at least by the first week after the first chemo, so that when it does fall out it isn't so messy or distressing. > ** Any great hair-covering hints! Someone here once suggested getting the headscarves that bikers wear, at least they do in those places where bikers are permitted by law to go unprotected. Tim Jackson >I haven't posted for a while: I've been clear now for 3 years after the >last bout. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > ** Why it is that hair loss is so traumatic, when compared to actually > having cancer, losing one's hair is fairly trivial, I don't know. I didn't have chemo after bc so didn't lose my hair after cancer but I did have half (!) my head shaved for brain surgery twelve years ago. I insisted on having the other half shaved, what a mess I looked with only half a head of hair! They were reluctant, said that they thought I'd be upset if I were completely bald even though I said that I was expecting that. They said they'd give me a wig. I refused. They said I could wear a scarf. I didn't. Half the world's population either has been or will be bald at some time in their life.What's wrong with being bald? It's pure convention that women should have hair. What's more I didn't frighten the horses in the street or little children or anyone. One friend thought I'd done it as a political statement - not my style. Our (young) grandchildren loved it and followed the new hair growth with interest. They were disappointed when the staples came out but liked the big scar. Incidentally I saw quite a few very beautiful young women who shaved their heads as a fashion statement, that's not my style either but it was interesting. And they looked really good. Sinead O'Connor was the one who was bald when I was but I looked more like Alexis Sayle because my head shape isn't pretty. and I'm fat. > ** What advice would you give to a woman who might lose her hair during > chemo, Don't worry about it. Cut it very short before it drops out. If you're cold wear a hat, if the sun's hard wear a hat. Otherwise enjoy the brief freedom you'll experience - and the feeling as new hair grows. Show it off, talk about it, you might make someone else feel more confident and help to get rid of the silliness about baldness. Temporary - or even permanent - baldness is better than the alternative (possibly dying earlier from cancer). > ** What was the most useful advice anyone gave you? I didn't have any - only stupid suggestions from nursing staff about how I could hide my scalp even though I stressed that I didn't want it. I felt pressurised to have a wig. I didn't but resented their assumption that they knew more about my feelings than I did. > ** Any great hair-covering hints! I think you mean skin covering hints. Just protect your skin from harsh sun and from cold. Wet doesn't matter, rain will dry more quickly from skin than from any head covering, a bandana could stay soggy for hours. Ugh. Some women have tattoos and make the most of their temporary attraction. I don't fancy needles but if I'd thought about it I'd have decorated my scalp with permanent markers. Mary > I haven't posted for a while: I've been clear now for 3 years after the last > bout. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > ** Why it is that hair loss is so traumatic, when compared to actually > having cancer, losing one's hair is fairly trivial, I didn't find it all that traumatic. At worst, slightly unsettling during the few days when it fell out, but generally it was a pretty minor thing. I looked better bald than I had expected. I know many people take it hard. I think at least some others are talked into taking it hard by media pieces that make a great boo-hoo about it, or friends/family who do likewise. I think we ought not assume that women will feel a particular way, but rather leave them comfortable space to have their own reaction (trauma, amusement, ho-hum . . .) and be supportive of that. > ** What advice would you give to a woman who might lose her hair during > chemo, Find a qualified massage therapist & get a cranial massage while you're bald. It never feels quite so good when you have hair in the way. Realize that you lose a lot of warmth through your head. Unless it's quite warm weather, be prepared with something you can wear on your head when you sleep, that will stay in place. During the hair loss, unless you're very quick to shave it, there will be a day or two when it will stay in for normal handling (e.g., gentle combing) but come out painlessly in great dramatic hanks if you yank on it. Make the most of this for dramatic or comic effect with friends or co-workers ("You make me want to tear my hair out!" <yank> Friend: "Aaaiiiiieee!") Hair loss has pluses. Showers are quick. You don't have to shave your legs (if you previously did). In my case, I had had long hair & wouldn't have had the guts to cut it as short as I now routinely wear it, but for growing it out from bald & learning that short looked good. > ** What was the most useful advice anyone gave you? Cut your hair short before it falls out. If you're going to buy a wig, pick it out while you still have hair to match (if you want it to match). Once it starts to fall out spontaneously in quantity, shave it. > ** Any great hair-covering hints! Wrap it in tissue & put it in your dresser drawer. <g> Ann T. Remove 'dontsendspam' from address to reply by email >> ** Why it is that hair loss is so traumatic, when compared to actually >> having cancer, losing one's hair is fairly trivial, > > I didn't find it all that traumatic. At worst, slightly unsettling during > the few days when it fell out, but generally it was a pretty minor thing. > I looked better bald than I had expected. I didn't but since I don't care it wasn't important. I don't have to look at me! > I know many people take it hard. I think at least some others are talked > into taking it hard by media pieces that make a great boo-hoo about it, or > friends/family who do likewise. But particularly the media. > I think we ought not assume that women will feel a particular way, but > rather leave them comfortable space to have their own reaction (trauma, > amusement, ho-hum . . .) and be supportive of that. Yes, oh yes. >> ** What advice would you give to a woman who might lose her hair during >> chemo, > > Find a qualified massage therapist & get a cranial massage while you're > bald. It never feels quite so good when you have hair in the way. Did you do that, Ann? I never thought about that, never think about massage of any kind, come to that ... but I know that many of my friends enjoy it and say they benefit, find it relaxing. Yes, have a cranial massage! . > During the hair loss, unless you're very quick to shave it, there will be > a day or two when it will stay in for normal handling (e.g., gentle > combing) but come out painlessly in great dramatic hanks if you yank on > it. Make the most of this for dramatic or comic effect with friends or > co-workers ("You make me want to tear my hair out!" <yank> Friend: > "Aaaiiiiieee!") You're cruel! > Hair loss has pluses. Showers are quick. You don't have to shave your > legs (if you previously did). In my case, I had had long hair & wouldn't > have had the guts to cut it as short as I now routinely wear it, but for > growing it out from bald & learning that short looked good. That happened to me too. >> ** Any great hair-covering hints! > > Wrap it in tissue & put it in your dresser drawer. <g> LOL! Nice one :-) Mary > Ann T. > Remove 'dontsendspam' from address to reply by email >>Find a qualified massage therapist & get a cranial massage while you're >>bald. It never feels quite so good when you have hair in the way. > > Did you do that, Ann? I never thought about that, never think about massage > of any kind, come to that ... but I know that many of my friends enjoy it > and say they benefit, find it relaxing. Yes, have a cranial massage! I'm a massage junkie. I had never had a massage, but started it about the time I started chemo (with doctors' permission -- some won't allow). At first, I could only lay on my back (because of the mastectomies), but the therapist said she could handle that. Before the surgery, I'd been spending a lot of time sitting in hospitals & nursing homes with my dad (i.e., stress & hours in bad chairs) and following that time up with BC diagnosis & surgery just got my back all in knots. The first massage was *amazing*: Things in my back snapped and popped and relaxed. So I started going regularly during chemo/radiation and beyond. The "cranial massage after hair loss" discovery was therefore happenstance, but now I recommend cranial massage to anyone who loses their hair. Might as well make lemonade when you've got lemons! In general, I'd recommend professional therapeutic massage to anyone going through BC diagnosis/treatment, as long as the person's doctor(s) will approve, and the person can afford it. We need some self-indulgences during treatment, and massage really is good complementary therapy, IME. (Hint to friends and family of those going through treatment: Massage therapists offer gift certificates!) I think it's important to find a good therapist, with training in therapeutic applications, not just relaxation, unless the latter is all you need. In the right hands (pun intended), it's more than just relaxing -- it can help ease any chronic musculo-skeletal problems, and at our age, most of us have -something- of that nature (bad back, glitchy knee, tight shoulders, you name it). In general, massage (plus stretches & such that the therapist taught me) has dramatically decreased problems with my back, tendencies toward TMJ & related headaches, etc. It's darn near to magic. It's also one of my major -- maybe my most major -- self-indulgences. Nowadays, I go every week! If you haven't tried it, I highly recommend it. Ann T. Remove 'dontsendspam' from address to reply by email > I'm a massage junkie. I had never had a massage, but started it about the > time I started chemo (with doctors' permission -- some won't allow). At > first, I could only lay on my back (because of the mastectomies), Oh I know about that! Well, I didn't have a mastectomy but the lumpectomy left my breast swollen and painful for weeks. Or months, can't remember. Between surgery and radiation I worked on an archaeological dig in Scotland and had to lie on my belly to get to the job. It was agony :-( I ended up lying down with my poor dug hanging into the trench! > Before the surgery, I'd been spending a lot of time sitting in hospitals & > nursing homes with my dad (i.e., stress & hours in bad chairs) and > following that time up with BC diagnosis & surgery just got my back all in > knots. The first massage was *amazing*: Things in my back snapped and > popped and relaxed. So I started going regularly during chemo/radiation > and beyond. I had reflexology last week. The only difference afterwards - and it might have been pure coincidence - was that I was incredibly irritable with Spouse for the next few hours. I'm not normally like that. The therapist now wants me to be a guinea pig for her hopo (that might not be the right word!) ear candling. I'm not keen but she's so enthusiastic it seems churlish to refuse. > The "cranial massage after hair loss" discovery was therefore > happenstance, but now I recommend cranial massage to anyone who loses > their hair. Might as well make lemonade when you've got lemons! Indeed. > In general, I'd recommend professional therapeutic massage to anyone going > through BC diagnosis/treatment, as long as the person's doctor(s) will > approve, and the person can afford it. We need some self-indulgences > during treatment, and massage really is good complementary therapy, IME. My breast care nurse did suggest that my husband massaged me breast when it was so painful. He was already doing that so it was comforting to know that it was approved :-) > I think it's important to find a good therapist, with training in > therapeutic applications, not just relaxation, unless the latter is all > you need. In the right hands (pun intended), it's more than just > relaxing -- it can help ease any chronic musculo-skeletal problems, and at > our age, most of us have -something- of that nature (bad back, glitchy > knee, tight shoulders, you name it). Hey! I have the most untight shoulders you could imagine! Which reminds me that I remember I exchanged an elk skin for cash and a massage a couple of years ago. The chap said he'd never come across such a relaxed neck and shoulders. > In general, massage (plus stretches & such that the therapist taught me) > has dramatically decreased problems with my back, tendencies toward TMJ ? > & related headaches, etc. It's darn near to magic. It's also one of my > major -- maybe my most major -- self-indulgences. Nowadays, I go every > week! I have friends who do and they certainly seem to benefit - therefore I recommend it too even though not from personal experience. Mary |
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