I've never known of any occasion when my husband or anyone else I wanted
with me has been asked not to be there, with one exception. That was when my
children were being born in hospital forty years ago, things have changed
hugely since then. I've been with my daughter and daughters in law as well
as or instead of their husbands when they gave birth. These days siblings
and friends are often with women giving birth, it's regarded as the woman's
right to choose.

You said: "I wouldn't dream of letting my wife see a doc alone for anything
other than the most routine check-up" In UK please note that it would be the
wife's choice. The idea that a man wouldn't LET his wife see a doctor alone
is so old fashioned as to be laughable. We, men and women, are free to do
what they want in respect of medical attention - they can even object to
anyone else being present at a consultation no matter how important it is.
If we want someone with us we invite them.

Yesterday I was with a neighbour whose husband is dying in a nursing home.
The consultant asked to see the neighbour about her husband's condition and
care and discussed it freely with the neighbour and with me, without asking
who I was or my credentials. It was assumed that if the neighbour was happy
in my presence then there was no problem, my questions were answered as
freely as the wife's.

If you take your 'evidence' from novels you're never going to know the truth
of our culture. Goodness, if we believed USAian fiction we'd think you were
a different species!

As for what you read in forums, they are individual responses to individual
situations. Again, it's our choice to trust the doctors or to think that we
might know better. We choose a doctor and if we don't trust a doctor we
change him or her. But I think that most people don't assume that the doctor
is hiding anything. They have nothing to gain by doing so.

Mary

A historical novel perhaps?

The only time I was ever refused permission to accompany my wife in
hospital was in the diagnostic x-ray suite, where it was explained that
due to lack of changing rooms they have several patients dressing and
undressing at the same time in the limited space and so they were
operating a single-sex policy in that room.

Which is about the same as being prevented from accompanying her into
the changing rooms in a dress shop.

Current practice, here in the US is to screen for domestic violence, You can
not ask the
question with a spouse present since having the offending spouse present
would not allow the
person to give an answer freely.