I don't think there is an easy answer, you can't predict outcome from the
location of mets, except that bone tends to be slower.  But you can say, as
you do, that mets are likely to be detected at least six months before they
kill you, you may have ten years or more, but most people survive a couple
of years or so.  I don't think anyone has managed to come up with a way of
predicting who will last longer.  For example my wife was diagnosed with
bone mets in March 1999 and died exactly one year later.  Catharine, well
known contributor to this group, was diagnosed with a more advanced similar
condition in 2000 and is still with us and going strong over three years
later.  You just can't tell.

As to how to live your life, a diagnosis of cancer brings you up short and
rearranges your priorities.  Putting a big part of your income into that
retirement fund suddenly doesn't look so clever any more.  If she does find
herself on the slippery slope of terminal illness, then there may not be
much time to enjoy any of those things that you "really wanted to do
someday", as for perhaps half of the survival time her mobility is likely to
be restricted, treatments and symptoms will eat into the quality of life.
In terms of activity holidays and such things that need to be planned well
in advance, "doing it now" seems more sensible.

There is still as always a balance to be struck, you don't want to be taken
by surprise by a sudden decline leaving things undone, but you don't want to
live your life waiting for the other shoe to drop or to look back and
realise that you spent the last ten years waiting to die.

Tim Jackson

I have liver mets and I live my life in the short term.  Have to.
That's all I have. I am spending my retirement accounts and having a
great time doing it.  I am creating memories for my son instead of
leaving him with money he would blow.  We've had some great trips.  I
just can't plan very far ahead since I don't know if I'll be on or off
chemo.
Cathy

As Tim mentioned location does play a role, ie its over quicker with
brain mets than bone mets, lung and liver mets being somewhere between
those two.