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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Breast Cancer / March 2005

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sheldon - 23 Feb 2005 01:42 GMT
Hi everyone I come from hull uk and I want to chat to others not far
from me. I feel so alone and I have no support from family and friends
at all so I want to make new friends. I find i am isolating myself due
to this cause I have no one coming to see me or even phoning me. I want
to get out the house but have no where to go I don't even have one
friend I can call round to see when im low and have a coffee and a
chat. I have also recently lost my job due to breast cancer and now I
have to find another job too. My life seems to have changed so much and
im desperate to change it but I find it hard to make new friends
because they don't understand me and what im going through. I just
don't know what to do to change it when you try to say how you feel but
get ignored. Sorry For rambling on but I needed to tell you all how
this is making me feel im just grateful i have an supportive partner
and a little girl to get me through each day but it would be great to
have friends too, someone you can have a laugh with and also I would
love a social life again. My life has been turned upside down with this
and my emotions are all over the place.
hugs to all here
Sheldon x
Tim Jackson - 23 Feb 2005 08:47 GMT
> Hi everyone I come from hull uk and I want to chat to others not far
> from me. I feel so alone and I have no support from family and friends
[quoted text clipped - 15 lines]
> hugs to all here
> Sheldon x

Sorry to hear about your troubles.  Welcome to the group.

It is a common problem that cancer isolates you, people who haven't been
there are embarrassed to talk about it, and don't know what to say to
someone that has it.

How old is your little girl?  My own daughter was six when my wife had
breast cancer, now she is 11 and doing great, (and I hope she is getting
ready for school right now, we should be going in five minutes)

You will find that the writers on this group are pretty well spaced out
physically, most are of course American, but we have a vociferous
British contingent and representation from several other countries too,
and somebody did mention being treated in Hull recently.

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Tim Jackson

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lisabucc@hotmail.com - 23 Feb 2005 12:48 GMT
I second Tim's welcome.

Most of the posters here have gone through their own battles with this
disease.  We're a pretty open bunch, so feel free to ask anything
that's on your mind.

True, for most of us this is a pretty emotional thing.  I actually went
numb for about a whole year - from the time I heard the diagnosis until
most of my surgeries were done.  Guess that was my lame way of coping.

Looking forward to gettting to know you.
Take care.
...lisa (in Massachusetts)
Mary Fisher - 23 Feb 2005 15:31 GMT
If you have a Breast Care Nurse she'll probably be able to tell you about
local support groups, there usually are some.

If you ever come to Leeds I'd be very happy to see you. I'm one of the
'vociferous British contingent' mentioned by Tim. He knows, he's met me:-)
Mail me.

Mary
Pamela Cook - 23 Feb 2005 18:01 GMT
> "sheldon" <sheldon1968@hotmail.co.uk> wrote in message
> Hi,
   I attend Hull clinic, and they're brill... you will have been allocated
a breast care nurse, all the ones I've met are really friendly and they have
a room off the waiting room where you can pop in for a cuppa and a biscuit
usually people in there ready and keen to chat, Only shown it the other day
(My chemo awareness day) the chemo nurse said we can pop in any time, not
just when we attend...  too far for me, I'm on the South bank... but you may
be able to get easily?   It's at the Princess Royal Hospital on Saltshouse
road...   Hope this helps.....  Good luck    xx
sheldon - 23 Mar 2005 03:19 GMT
Hi Pam I go to see my oncoligist at Princess Royal Hospital Hull. I
would love to pop in to chat with others but It is a distance for me. I
just need a kick I think I have found that due to the way people are
towards me im isolting myself and I really need to do something. I
would love to meet you sometime.
Have you got the details of someone i can speak to there. I run my own
support group for breast cancer on the net my partner set it up for
mebut would be nice to chat with others face to face.

Thankyou take care Sheldon x
Pamela Cook - 26 Mar 2005 21:58 GMT
> Hi Pam I go to see my oncoligist at Princess Royal Hospital Hull. I
> would love to pop in to chat with others but It is a distance for me. I
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
>
> Thankyou take care Sheldon x

     Hi, Sheldon
                 You sound quite low... but must be positive to set up a
support group....Did you get a breast care nurse?  Speak to her.  she will
tell you who to contact... I'm there again on Thursday morning for my 2nd
chemo session...
      how are your friends treating you?   mine are just the same except
for pulling my leg about hair loss and absent mindedness  which I put down
to chemo-brain and they put down to being my normal self    (age)   Most are
the same as usual   but get embarrassed if they happen to say something
sensitive.... I just laugh...  I've put my foot in my mouth often enough in
the past,  to feel empathy with them.....
                       hope you are feeling better,
                              good wishes,   Pam  xx
A. P. Thorsen - 23 Feb 2005 18:03 GMT
> Hi everyone

Hi, Sheldon,

Welcome to the group.  It's a good bunch, even though we all wish no one
had need to join a BC group!

I second Mary's suggestion about joining an in-person support group.
I'm in the US, but have found my support group helpful.  It's nice to
talk in person with people who understand and can talk openly and
unconstrainedly about BC.  Being survivors, they just "get it".

I have to admit, I didn't enjoy my first visit -- felt uncomfortable,
like I didn't have much in common with other members -- but I convinced
myself to give it another try, and then began to relax and feel more at
home there. I've since made some good friends in my group, whom I see
outside the group.

Good luck with your efforts to find a good path through this difficult
territory . . . you're making a good start.

Ann T.
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Mary Fisher - 23 Feb 2005 20:31 GMT
> I second Mary's suggestion about joining an in-person support group.

...

> I have to admit, I didn't enjoy my first visit -- felt uncomfortable, like
> I didn't have much in common with other members --

I've never been a good member of them either (although I have attended quite
often) - but I know that I'm in the minority (I'm an okkard bugger in case
that hasn't come across) and that most patients enjoy the social side, the
rapport, the exchanging of ideas and the like.

We're all different with different needs, I didn't feel lonely or any
different from how I'd been before my diagnosis and treatment but I can
thoroughly recommend support groups for those who feel that their lives have
changed.

And, as I've said probably ad nauseam, this particular group is the best
thing I know!

Mary
Mary
 
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