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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Breast Cancer / February 2005What would have helped during those long months of chemotherapy?
What would have helped during those long months of chemotherapy? I found this group extremely helpful and supporting 3 years ago when I had a recurrence of breast cancer, and now I'm hoping to put together a piece on what those being treated for cancer would like as support and help from the people around them. I feel that friends and family often would like to help but don't know what to do, what would *really* be appreciated. I've looked at the FAQ (thanks, Tim) and I'd like any other suggestions. Steph Please remove -NO-SPAM from the address to reply :-) > What would have helped during those long months of chemotherapy? What did help: Getting me out of the house, when I felt up to it. Inviting me to go grocery shopping with them so it took a little less of my ebbing energy. Also, I was sicker than many women are these days on AC. My sister-in-law came and stayed with me the night of chemo, drove me back to the cancer center the next day for another round of IV anti-nausea meds & fluids on her way to work, then picked me up & took me home on her lunch hour. I could easily drive myself to the chemo treatment & back home, and preferred to do so because I'm very independent-minded. But I was literally too sick to take myself back in the next day -- I wouldn't have been safe to drive. At the 11th hour (asked her day of chemo) another friend pinch-hit & did what my SIL usually did (spent the night, etc.), because my SIL was sick/contagious. Friends also asked questions about what I could eat, and what felt good to eat, during the nausea phase, and made food for me. Ann T. Remove 'dontsendspam' from address to reply by email >> What would have helped during those long months of chemotherapy? > > I could easily drive myself to the chemo treatment & back home, and > preferred to do so because I'm very independent-minded. But I was > literally too sick to take myself back in the next day -- I wouldn't have > been safe to drive. I was puzzled by this then realised that you're in US, in UK (where Steph is) the ambulance service will provide transport. But there can be a lot of waiting around so someone you know and can rely on to drive you must be a Good Thing. Mary >>>What would have helped during those long months of chemotherapy? >> [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > waiting around so someone you know and can rely on to drive you must be a > Good Thing. The American Cancer Society (a charitable organization) here has -- at least in urban-ish areas -- programs that can drive cancer patients to appointments. I'm betting church groups, etc., would have volunteers who would do likewise in more rural areas. Just my feeling: It's less bureaucratic, and feels more comforting, to have someone close to you taking care of you when you're too sick to take care of yourself. Ann T. Remove 'dontsendspam' from address to reply by email >>>>What would have helped during those long months of chemotherapy? >>> [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > bureaucratic, and feels more comforting, to have someone close to you > taking care of you when you're too sick to take care of yourself. Indeed. Perhaps our voluntary associations - such as Lions, WI etc. - have people who would do the same. I used to use our mini bus for transporting various kinds of needy people to lots of places through an initiative in our parish church. I bet there are still such projects in UK. Although USA and UK cultures are very different in many ways we are still made up of people with similar wills to offer help where it's needed. Mary It is definitely a problem in rural Ohio here in the states. Or even in the city if like my daughter you have to travel as far as from Dayton to Columbus for the chemo. My niece has children in school, her husband works, so since she had to give up her teaching job. her husband really needs to work to pay bills. So her dad takes her to the treatments. Hard to know how long she will continue these, since she has no much mets everywhere. Just trying to get the chemo and radiation to take her to June. My daughters new husband ( a second marriage) took her for the treatments, but he could not handle the cancer and my daughter's emotions. Sadly it was found a few weeks after the marriage. They are now in the process of a divorce. She did get extremely upset and worried, and he stayed away as much as he could, except taking her to the treatments. He kept telling her she should act better and downplayed the issue. An exceptionally beautiful woman btw. It brings out the best and worst in people when tradgety strikes. It did show what he was made of, in my opinion. Since I was taking care of my spouse 24/7, 365, I was torn two ways. A very difficult time. I don't have any solutions for when there is much traveling involved to get the treatments. I wish I did. eveline > It is definitely a problem in rural Ohio here in the states. Or even in > the [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > beautiful > woman btw. Oh how awful for her! But perhaps she'll be better off ... > It brings out the best and worst in people when tradgety strikes. It did > show what he was made of, in my opinion. > > Since I was taking care of my spouse 24/7, 365, I was torn two ways. A > very difficult time. Yes ... > I don't have any solutions for when there is much traveling involved to > get > the treatments. I wish I did. There are always very hard cases for which there doesn't seem to be a solution :-( Mary > eveline |
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