It seems there still are some antediluvian surgeons around.

I'm sure that a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing, and I can
understand doctors worrying about patients researching on the internet.

But I am afraid they have to come into the 21st century.  Pandora's box is
open and can't be closed again.  Better that doctors accept that patients
will research, and support them in doing so, answer their questions and
explain the situation to their satisfaction, including saying "I don't know"
where appropriate, that that they try to stuff the lid back on.

On the other hand patients must also learn to accept that doctors (and even,
heaven forbid, surgeons) are human beings, professionals like accountants
and lawyers and engineers.  They are not infallible and are not there to be
sued if anything goes wrong, only if they cause harm by acting unreasonably.

The relationship between any professional and a client should be that the
professional provides the client with information and advice in making
decisions, including recommendations as to the best decisions.  But the
responsibility for the decisions and their consequences lies with the
client.  The professional is of course responsible for any work (s)he
carries out on the client's instruction.

Tim Jackson

i had this sort of problem with my first oncologist.  it was impossible to
get any information out of him.
so you know what i did?
just this week, i got a new one who is clear, informative, and thorough.
it's like night and day, and my stress level has dropped significantly now
that i feel i have a better understanding of my particular situation.  to
me, the most important thing in the doctor/patient relationship (as with
most relationships) is good communication.
what tim said about these people being just that, people, is very true.
doctors have individual personalities that dictate how they run their
practices.  if it's not a match between patient and physician, well move on
if possible.   if you're in a small town and don't have many choices, then
your job is to do what you need to do to get good answers to your questions.
read all your reports yourself - if your doctor will not or can not explain
this stuff to you, perhaps a second opinion by mail is possible.  also there
are support groups, the internet etc... but we must be careful not to limit
our investigation to one or two sources.   there is alot of good info out
there, but there's also alot of dangerous and misleading info out there too.
we must become adept at casting a wide net and sifting the results to find
what is relevant and accurate.
good luck.

-c.