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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Breast Cancer / August 2004Newbie!
Hello everyone, Well another abnormal mammogram, I have an history of cysts, numerous biopsies, so far everything came back ok. Late afternoon, call from my OBGYN, requesting a biopsy for density on my right breast, and again, I am out of my mind. The reason that I am really freaking out, is that the prior cysts and biopsies were on the left breast, this time the left. Absolutely no support from my wonderful Husband, who told me all doctors were quacks, and that I was getting on his nerves. Please help. Alone in the USA. Kiki Hey Kiki, Most cysts are not cancer. How old are you? The younger you are the less likely it would be cancer. The doc is not asking for an ultrasound ( can tell if they are a cyst or not). I remember when had my initial mammogram, I knew something was wrong since they immediate, told me they found something and scheduled an ultrasound. My husband told me I was over reacting, the rest is history. Any ways we are here for you. Alex  Signature" Hey, Thank you for answering, I am not young , 56 years... This time because of my history with cysts, the Doctor did an ultrasound first, the results were fine, well, he told me I had a multitude of cysts. They did the mammogram few days ago, and talked about an area of density, so now biopsy time. What do you think? Thanks again, Kiki I think your doctor is being careful which is great. Area of density could be nothing but best to have answers. We are here for you! Hope you don't need to join. Waiting for answers is the worst part, worst case scenario it was caught early and breast cancer found early has great prognosis. > Hey, > [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > > Kiki > Well another abnormal mammogram, I have an history of cysts, numerous > biopsies, so far everything came back ok. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Absolutely no support from my wonderful Husband, who told me all doctors > were quacks, and that I was getting on his nerves. Why is an abnormality in the other breast a cause for freaking out? They both have pretty much the same genes, so a tendency that way would tend to happen in both. I would feel the fact that other scares have proved benign would be a reason to assume this will also, at least until proved otherwise. And the statistics support that belief - the vast majority of abnormalities prove benign. Sorry your husband can't be more supportive. I guess he's scared too. Tim Jackson Thank you Tim, my husband's name by the way...he's not scared, he will not be with me for the biopsy, his choice.... and having no Family left made it hard to deal with that kind of events. Kiki << The reason that I am really freaking out, is that the prior cysts and biopsies were on the left breast, this time the left. >><BR><BR> Kiki, so sorry you are dealing with this. I am glad that you have a concerned dr, though. I do hope that whatever is there is benign. Have they done an MRI? Hi Kiki, Just adding my wishes for completely benign results. As others have said, most breast lumps are not malignant. If it is, you're catching it early and that's important. I'm sorry your husband isn't able to be more supportive. Keep writing to this group. There are many knowledgable and compassionate folks here who will listen and reply. My best wishes to you, Kiki. Barb Thank you so much Barb, I find it amazing to see the caring and understanding in your group, I guess I am not use too. Thank you again, Kiki Has anyone heard from Jennifer ? Last we heard she had her first chemo. Alex Hello everyone, No specific question, just the need to talk, after reading the other posts I feel ashamed to come here because I am afraid of the coming biopsy. My husband left on a business trip, and will not be here next Monday, he's only two hours away, so really he could be here. I had a best Friend who went back to her native country, France, and my Daughter and Grand- Baby are also there, this year was very stressful, my Daughter had major surgery to removed entire colon and rectum, she had Ulcerative Colitis for the past nine years, meds didn't work anymore, I was there for a month to take care of the little one. I am sorry to go on and on, I will stop for now, and wish everyone of you the best, you are all so strong... Thank you for let me be part of your big family, I will keep you posted about my biopsy. Kiki. >Hello everyone, > >No specific question, just the need to talk, after reading the other posts I >feel ashamed to come here because I am afraid of the coming biopsy. Hi KiKi, We'll be thinking of you on Monday. Please let us know how you are doing and post anytime you want. Marilyn Thank you so much Marilyn. Kiki. The waiting is the worst part, when are you having it done? Please feel free to vent anytime. ALex Kiki wrote: "I feel ashamed to come here because I am afraid of the coming biopsy. My husband left on a business trip, and will not be here next Monday, he's only two hours away, so really he could be here." First of all, never be ashamed of fear. Fear can serve you, too. That's the sort of thing this group is here for. -- I'm sorry you're so afraid. We've all been there and know the tumbling feelings going on inside. -- Metaphorically holding your hand, as this is one of the scariest times. (It does get better when you 'know' one way or another.) Secondly: I'd suggest that TELL your husband that you NEED him there with you, and insist that he be there! Business can wait, there's always someone else who can cover for him there -- but not with you. You need to be his priority right now. --- This is not a laughing matter nor one to be ignored because he doesn't believe anything is really wrong. (That can also be seen as denial on his part, although some men simply prefer to deal with reality vs 'speculation'.) Meanwhile, this is the kind of thing that can strengthen or weaken a marriage. You need all the support you can get, so TELL the man. -- If you don't, you'll have all this resentment built up, and that can't serve you health wise, nor serve your marriage. Why am I saying this? Been there, done that, created an unnecessary mess in the process. FWIW, I'm too independent for my own good. Was so terrified and numbed I didn't ask mine to be with me. I should have and suffered a real meltdown because of that. He couldn't read my mind, nor comprehend my fears. (He had his own going on.) As a result I felt extremely alone and abandoned. I had to acknowledge those feeings, translate them via what I might have done (or not) to create the chasm, and tell him first. Once clarified, he has been a MAJOR rock for me ever since.-- Sometimes all it takes is earnest communication. -- That's one thing it looks like you need right now. -- The other is understanding, and you've got that right here on this group. Hang in there, Kiki... it's going to be all right, no matter what that biopsy shows. Namaste, Adrienne Adrienne, Wonderful letter, thank you, as far as my husband is concern, nothing new there, I had other kind of surgeries before and he was never here, funny thing I was there for him when he had his angioplasty few months ago, 90% blockage in two arteries, and he's only 43... I will make it, and it might make me stronger, I have to tell you again, you are ALL so wonderful. Thank you. Kiki > No specific question, just the need to talk, after reading the other posts I > feel ashamed to come here because I am afraid of the coming biopsy. Hi, Kiki! Hey, come around & chat anytime. You don't have to have questions, or anything real structured. Sometimes we even get waaaay off topic. It's absolutely, totally rational to be afraid about the biopsy. Even if you think there ought to be "nothing to be afraid of", it's OK to be fearful. Even though odds are it will turn out to be benign, it's OK to be fearful. Some people worry that it will hurt. Might do, but probably not much. Some people worry about the results -- and yes, waiting for them is a major stressor. One thing I find amusing (when I observe it in myself) is that once I am scheduled for or have some test (bone scan, x-ray, what-have-you), I get all worried about what the results are going to be . . . even though whatever may be lurking there to be detected was there even before anyone ever thought of doing that particular test! And, please don't be ashamed to come here, under any circumstances: It's a *support* group. Mulling over fears & anxieties is one of the things we're here for! > My husband left on a business trip, and will not be here next Monday, he's > only two hours away, so really he could be here. > I had a best Friend who went back to her native country, France, and my > Daughter and Grand- Baby are also there, . . . Others have had some suggestions about approaching your husband. They're good ones, but only you know the dynamic of your particular relationship. I'm here to tell you that in practice this is a "hubbies optional" ride: If someone has a supportive, involved spouse, that's absolutely wonderful (and I envy them). But, as a live-alone widow, I went through the diagnosis by myself, and it's do-able on that basis. Not optimal, not great, but do-able. You're gonna be OK. You'll get through this. Honest! We're here for you to help as we can. Here's hoping the biopsy comes out benign! If it does, I hope you'll let us know (we love good news). If you get less happy news, please ask questions, vent, or whatever helps you. Sending you well-wishes, Ann T. Remove 'dontsendspam' from address to reply by email Ann, Thank you, I have ups and down, I have been on Zoloft for the past year, and suddenly it doesn't seem to work anymore, I will let you know about my coming biopsy on Monday. You all gave me strength and I am grateful for it. Kiki. |
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