 |
 | Home | Contact Us | FAQ | Search & Site Map | Link to Us |
 | Sign In | Join | Other 45 Sites in Network |
Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Breast Cancer / August 2004young, and needing support
Hi, I posted earlier today but hadnt really introduced myself. Someone pointed me in the direction of this forum beacause they thought it would be helpful. I am 23 and was diagnosed with b.c. on Christmas Eve. I had a mastectomy on Jan 7th, and Axillary Node Dissection on Jan 15th. I had 6 months of chemo, AC-T, and am currently in radiation. I am supposed to have a second mastectomy (prophylactic) with double reconstruction in December. I.FEEL.SO. ALONE. My mother died a year ago of cancer; her sister and mother died within the past 10 years of cancer. My dads mother and sisters died of cancer before I was born and when I was a toddler. I have no women I can talk to and there are no younger women around here who understand. I dont want to talk to my friends mothers about something they have never experienced, its pointless, and I feel going to a support group here where the women are mostly in their 50-60's is pointless because I can get all the same support online. Im fighting one hell of a battle here, and have had horrible complications from surgeries this year and chemo was so bad I couldnt leave my house or get off the couch or out of bed other than to use the bathroom. Im still fighting and such but it seems that more obstacles keep arising and while I will always have hope and a strong spirit it just gets so lonely, depressing, and rough. I just wanted to share my story and say hello, and hope maybe you can help me and I can help you all. My best to each of you and this damn battle. Liberty Rebekah Hello Liberty. Sorry to welcome you to the group no one wants to be in, and no doubt as our youngest contributor. We know that breast cancer is very rare in young people, that makes it even more horrible when you turn out to be the one it picks, and so much harder to find people who share your situation. Online support does tend to appeal to the younger end of the spectrum, but that still means mostly 40's upwards. What we do find is that people in general don't like to think about life-threatening diseases, perhaps because it, makes them face their own mortality. So those of us who have been forced to look the beast in the face have a rather different attitude, and are willing to break several popular taboos. So we sometimes talk about sexuality and sex appeal, death and dying, or scars or bodily functions. And sometimes we scream and shout too. Feel free to ask awkward questions, to talk about what worries you, or to let of steam. It's what we're here for. Tim Jackson > Hi, I posted earlier today but hadnt really introduced myself. Someone > pointed me in the direction of this forum beacause they thought it [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > > Liberty Rebekah > Hello Liberty. > [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > > Tim Jackson Thank you so much, your kindness is very much appreciated. Ive been lurking around here lately and have already gained quite a bit of insight to things. I have a million questions but wont post them all at once, so over time hopefully Ill get some answers to things Ive got to figure out. This is really a wonderful community and Im glad I found it. Thansk again! Liberty, sorry to hear that you are going through all of this. While I am currently going thorough BC at the age of 48, when I was 26 I was diagnosed with advanced stage melanoma. Not only was I young, but melanoma was pretty rare back then, how things change. I also felt very alone back then, my friends, while they tried, really could not comprehend what I was going through and most folks with melanoma were 50+. It was a very scary and lonely time for me. While most of us are probably over 40 in the support groups, age is only a number and we are only as old as we feel, some of these folks may surprise you. I have always been very young at heart and plan on staying that way for a long time to come. Feel free to contact me via e-mail or the newsgroup, I'll provide any support I can. Ruth > Liberty, sorry to hear that you are going through all of this. While I am > currently going thorough BC at the age of 48, when I was 26 I was diagnosed [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > > Ruth Hi Ruth, Thanks so much for the support and encouragement! I can only imagine how hard that must of been, similar to my own situation but ofcourse everyone is different so I really hate to say "I know how you feel", back then, as you said, it was very rare and at least with b.c. it is cureable and there is quite alot of knowledge about it, and I know I have a chance. Age is only a number, I agree, I just feel that there are quite a few issues I have that the general population of b.c. patients dont necessarily share. But yes being in only your 40-50's, you just may share them. It seems that around here all the other b.c. patients I have been are much older than that even. Just general concerns, early menopause, possible infertility and the inability to breats feed, "disfigurement" at a an age where I dont have a loving husband who could care less and at an age where I would like to wear bikinis and such but with a missing breast its hard.. I have compltely lost my self-esteem to wear anything at this point (recently a prosthetic has helped at least), and a million other such topics. Thank you again, and Im sure Ill be in touch with questions, I hope I dont annoy you to much, heh. Liberty > Age is only a number, I agree, I just feel that there are quite a few > issues I have that the general population of b.c. patients dont > necessarily share. But yes being in only your 40-50's, you just may > share them. It seems that around here all the other b.c. patients I > have been are much older than that even. Hi Liberty, I was dx at 42 with a 6 cm tumor, so who knows at what age I got it, or how much smoother subsequent treatment and surgery would have been if I'd felt (and acknowledged) the lump sooner. I could have had it growing in me at your age. But I eventually did what had to be done so I don't dwell on that. The fact that you are younger and more proactive than I was is a huge plus in your favor. By the time you're my age, hopefully this will all be a distant memory. > Just general concerns, early menopause, possible infertility and the > inability to breats feed, "disfigurement" at a an age where I dont [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > (recently a prosthetic has helped at least), and a million other such > topics. Early menopause? If you take tamoxifen for five years, you'll still have plenty fertile years after that! But I know what you mean. BC takes a toll on something else in a woman not often mentioned: our vanity. And it is an emotion that gets lost sometimes when weighed against the perspective of continued survival. But thank goodness modern medicine is now able to address our cosmetic concerns to great results. I'm sure your doctors have talked to you about the various reconstruction techniques, which you might want to consider at some time in the future, though not now. BTW, you're what? 23? Plenty of time to find that loving husband, which I'm sure you will. This geriatric of 46 is still single :) I think the statistics say there's a bigger chance of me getting struck by lightning now than getting married, but we can't let statistics determine our individual lives... Some of my married friends would say I have the better end of the deal, but that's another story <g>. Grass is always greener, and all that stuff... > Thank you again, and Im sure Ill be in touch with questions, I hope I > dont annoy you to much, heh. Not a chance of that... isn't this a cool bunch of people? As I always say, take your support where you find it. kaci I understand that bikini thing, with the melanoma I had numerous scars and for a long time just stopped wearing them. Now at 48, 5'2" and onehundred pounds those bikinis have been back on the sceen for many years. Once in a while I get asked questions, sometime a few stares, I just assume that the stares are simply due to the fact that for my age I look damn good. OK so this summer the bikinis go back on the hanger while I wait for the tissue expander to be filled, that's OK there is the next 40+ years to wear them! I have pretty much decided to go through this period being lop sided and soon bald. You should hear the reactions I get when folks hear that, some are shocked, some say go for it, others just don't know what to say. With me it is more about comfort and ease than anything else. I too had questions about infertility, not to mention the real possibility that I may not have made it to even consider those options. I made the decsion as soon as the chemo was over (22 years ago) to just go for it, the doctors told me it would never happen, then when it did they told me the pregancy would bring me out of remission and neither of us would make the 9 months. Today I have a 17 year old daughter, and she is my pride and joy. A bit pricey, but just the same I love her so. Ruth > I > have no women I can talk to and there are no younger women around here > who understand. I dont want to talk to my friends mothers about > something they have never experienced, its pointless, and I feel going > to a support group here where the women are mostly in their 50-60's is > pointless because I can get all the same support online. One thing to look into might be the American Cancer Society "Reach to Recovery" program, if that's available in your area. They try to match you with a volunteer breast cancer survivor whose background is similar to yours. While there are few breast cancer survivors in their 20s, there are sadly many in their early/mid 30s, so you might get matched up with someone fairly young & with some of the same issues . . . Also, did you actually check out the local support groups? It varies by area, but you might be surprised who's there: Our group has regular participants who are in their 30s, and occasionally some younger. Best to you, Ann T. Remove 'dontsendspam' to reply by email Liberty, I am new myself, I know how lonely you must be, I also have lost most of my close family members, you are not alone by looking at the response you got from the group, keep expressing your feelings, bad,sad, happy... If you need anything, you can email me at my personal email. Kiki |
Reply to this Message |
 Sign In
 Join
 My Latest Posts My Monitored Threads My Blog My Photo Gallery My Profile My Homepage Start New Thread Enable EMail Alerts Rate this Thread
|
©2009 Advenet LLC Privacy Policy - Terms of Use
This website includes both content owned or controlled by Advenet as well as content owned or controlled by third parties.