No offense, John Denver...

Please excuse me, but yet once again, I am moved to song:

Well the funny farm life is gettin' kinda laid back
Ain't a newsgroup a state employee like me can't hack
It's early to surmise, then pedal back
My Gosh, I am such a bore!

Well a simple kinda life never did me no harm
A raisin' me a raucous, soundin' my hollow alarm
My days are all filled up postin' more mindless smarm
My Gosh, I am such a bore!

Well I got me a fine line, got myself in the middle
When my diaper's not changed, I get wet cuz' I piddle
Life ain't nothin' but a narcissistic riddle
My Gosh I am I such a bore!

When the postin's all done and the sun's settin' low
I pull out my diddle and I rosin up my bow
The kids are fast asleep so I keep it kinda low
My Gosh I am such a bore!

I'd make up real goodn's all day if I could
But they're so bored with my theories (they ain't workin' very good)
So I fake it when I could, don't deny it when I should
My Gosh, I am such a bore!

Well I got me a fine line, got myself in the middle
When my diaper's not changed, I get wet cuz' I piddle
Life ain't nothin' but a narcissistic riddle
My Gosh I am I such a bore!

Well I wouldn't trade my Naturopath for diamonds and jewels
He never was one of them money hungry fools
I'd rather see my MD, though (he's gotta bigger bag-o-tools)
My Gosh I am such a bore!

Well I got me a fine line, got myself in the middle
When my diaper's not changed, I get wet cuz' I piddle
Life ain't nothin' but a narcissistic riddle
My Gosh I am I such a bore!