Too funny. The sad part is that when you consider that the money comes form
malpractice insurance it is not all that far fetched. I'm surprised no one
has thought of it.

Continuing on:

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of excrement?

A: The bucket.

Q: What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff?

A: A good start.

Q: How do you save a drowning lawyer?

A: Don't know?  - Good.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the
party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and
forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light
Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to
perform previously agreed upon duties, i. e., the lighting, elucidation, and
otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door,
through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living
area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination
being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not
required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The
aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the
following steps: 1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or
without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or
any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light
Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a
counter-clockwise direction, this point being non-negotiable. 2.) Upon
reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes
separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the
first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the
second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state,
local and federal statutes. 3.) Once separation and disposal have been
achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of
beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb").
This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the
procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful
to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point
also being non-negotiable. Note: The above described steps may be performed,
at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons
authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue
for the party of the fifth part, also known as "Partnership."

Just to be fair:

Q: How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. That's the nurses job.

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but first the bulb most want to change.

Q: How many GP's does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Why not just watch it and see if it turns on tomorrow?

Q: How many internists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Well, it could be the bulb. Then again it could be the power and of
course we can't rule out blindness.....

Q: Q: How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: First you need to see the PCP and tell him it is out. He will need to
send you to a specialist to diagnose the problem. He'll want to send you to
the radiologist for x-rays. Then they will send you to the surgeon to
actually do the procedure but not before seeing the cardiologist to make
sure it is safe to do. Of course, the HMO will want you to try flicking the
switch a few more times before they will pay for a new bulb.

Q: How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one. He will stand on a ladder holding the bulb in the air and wait
for the room to revolve around him.