Hi Clair,    Your feeling this way is very understandable.   I see that you
are in the UK and their are more UK people that read in
news:alt.support.arthritis   Click on that to get there.  With no more
specific information than that,  The very best you can do for your loved one
is to make sure she is taking what the doctor has told her to take and
nothing else.  Is she doing what the doctors have told her to do as far as
how active she is???  Good luck with it and let me give you a little advice
about dealing with older folks with problems,,,,, make sure they understand
that you just want to help and that you are worried about them    and
not trying to tell them what to do or make them do anything.  If they think
you are pushing them around in any way,,,, things get harder to deal with.
You can even talk to one of her doctors to make sure you are getting the
facts straight.  Good luck,,,
Harv