I'm frustrated.  I really am.  Breaking my ankle was bad enough, at
least, I thought.  But, insult is always added to injury.  And insult,
in this case, is the spin-off pain from the broken ankle.

At least, that's how my RD is considering it.  I had an appt with him
yesterday afternoon.  I told him that my ankle is healing, but asked him
for his thoughts on the orthopod's dx of DeQuervain's tenosynovitis of
my left wrist.  He concurred with the dx, and supports the pod's
treatment choice of PT for now.  That's fine.  I sure don't want
surgery, if I can help it.

I also complained that my right shoulder is causing me lots of distress.  
He asked me how long since I was off crutches.  I said two weeks.  He
said that it's still too soon for things to get back to normal.  He then
asked me how all else is doing.  I say same old same old.

In fact, it's not the same old same old.  Everything hurts.  My wrist
and ankle and shoulder, for sure.  But also, my SI/hip, my neck, my
back, my heels, both wrists, actually, and just about everything.  I
hurt alot, and was miserable with pain last night.  I'm still so sore
this morning.  But, I didnt' want to tell him about my latest greatest
flare (if that's what it is, which is likely), because I know that he'll
just throw prednisone at it.  He'll hardly look at anything, but just
prescribe pred.  I hate pred.

I've decided to see if this quiets down, and maybe call and go back in a
week or two, if it doesn't.  But, I'm just so frustrated with this
disease, and with all the spin off diseases that I have, like
Dupuytren's and DeQuervain's and osteopenia, and whatever.  I'm sick of
hurting.  I'm sick of how hard it is to just take my dog for a simple
short walk.  I'm sick of feeling blitzed from painkillers.  I'm just
hoping it all goes away.  

Do you ever have pain that is not so excrutiating that you cannot speak,
but enough and of a kind that you just feel sick, like maybe throwing
up?  Constant pain that just eats away at your soul?  I'm trying to keep
a positive attitude, but sometimes the pain gets the better of me.  I
feel sick today.  I'm depressed, even though I already take Zoloft.  I
am feeling like my job is not getting the attention it needs, which is
hurting me professionally.

Frustration is but a miserable understatement of what I'm feeling right
now.  I'm already late for work, and I'm not even dressed yet.  I'm
sitting here at the computer with my cup of coffee and my sharply aching
wrist, and my depression, and my sore hips, and my sore neck, and I need
a f.cking vacation in the worst way.  But, I have no time left, cause it
was all eaten away on being out when I broke my ankle.  I feel at wit's
miserable end.  I want to just go back to bed, but I have a meeting at
11:00 am this morning with a member of the wilderness committee.  I
can't stand the guy.  He is a real pain in the a.s, a sorry a.s gadfly
who is demanding and annoying.  I'll do me damnedest to be professional,
but I'm not going to like it.

Well, I sure rambled on long enough.  If you've made it this far,
thanks.  If you haven't, then never mind.  I just needed to vent.  As
much as venting feels good here, I sure wish it makes the pain go away.  
Damn...................