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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Arthritis / September 2005Prayers for Mom needed
Hi - Many of you have heard of Mom's multiple health issues the past 2 years. Mom went into the hospital on Monday because her kidney blood tests were so high. The morning the kidney dr called and told me that Mom's kidney function was below 15% and it was time to start dialysis. He wants to put the access catheter in her neck on Saturday and then start dialysis 3 times a week. In the past we had been told that Mom's health was too frail to withstand dialysis but this dr seems to think that's not the case. He said he has patients much sicker than Mom tolerate it and do just fine. Mom is diabetic, has high blood pressure, COPD, interstitial lung disease, a AAA that's inoperable, had failed bypass around 1995 and gets frequent infections. She has almost constant UTI's. She's anemic of course from the kidney failure. She's been on a Foley catheter full time now for several months and is unable to get in and out of a wheelchair by herself or to get around by herself. She lives full time in a nursing home and will have to be taken by Medicaid transport to the dialysis center 3 x a week for treatment. This doesn't come as a surprise. After multiple treatments for MRSA and such with harsh abx like vancomycin, her kidney were showing signs of moving in this direction. In the past, Mom had told me she didn't want dialysis and would refuse it when the time came. So that's what has been in her chart. When the kidney doc called this am he said she was agreeable to dialysis. I called her to tell her I would be there in a few hours and she was crying too hard to talk to me. I don't know what I should do. I'm her health care surrogate but think she's still considered able to make her own decisions. She's going to ask me what to do and I don't know what to say. I know she's been very confused lately due to the toxicity of the kidney failure. And I know what you think you will do and how you feel when the actual time comes can be very different thinks. I just don't know what to say. I also don't know what else to expect for her with dialysis ... I've read about it but really don't know anyone whose actually been on it. OK - Thanks for listening. I'm going to take a shower and will check in again before I leave. Cyberhugs....DianeW > Hi - Many of you have heard of Mom's multiple health issues the past 2 > years. Mom went into the hospital on Monday because her kidney blood [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > > Cyberhugs....DianeW I have a friend who has been on dialysis for several years now. She seems to be doing great - but then I only see her right after she has had a treatment. Unlike some other procedures, your mom could try dialysis a few times and they decide to discontinue right? Maybe that would be the way to go. Then she might be clearer to help with the decision. Jo ((((((diane)))))) ((((((mom)))))) love and prayers, Vickie B. Diane, I am so sorry to hear this. No real words of wisdom. Your Mom is in a much different health situation than my Dad was. I wish that you the strength to decide, and then be at peace with what you choose, whatever it may be. In a few lines, I'll relay my dad's experience on choosing re:dialysis and thought process. Now, he didn't need to be taken anywhere for dialysis, he was in the hospital already. And he had multiple myeloma - a blood marrow cancer. He'd had it for years, and it was clearly the end time. But here goes: story below - Dad had kidney damage from multiple myeloma. The cancer caused multiple health issues including frequent infections and anemia. He was also diabetic. When the doctor's approached him about dialysis, he was in a condition of imminent death. Originally going to say no, but he wanted the family to fly to Denver in time to say good bye, so he let them do one treatment (he was already in the hospital). He was well enough that we had two really wonderful days with him. He was more alert than he'd been in over a week. He agreed to transfer to a hospice facility. He also refused any further dialysis. He said he didn't want to live from one treatment to another, with minimal quality of life in between. He was too prone to infections. Too exhausted from the cancer, the pain the cancer caused and the anemia. Now my dad was a religious man. In Judaism, one you start life prolonging treatment like this (or a ventilator), you aren't supposed to remove it if removing will cause death. If you allow the illness to cause death, that's one thing. Once you insert man's will into the equation, removing it is an act of man and is killing. But he made this decision anyway - when he was at his most clear headed. He said one of the most important things God created was the relationship within a family and honoring that relationship honored God. As for his choice to end treatment, he figured God could deal with that as he chose; that it would be offset by other things my dad had done in his life. prayers for your mom, and for you, Diane. How hard this situation must be for all of you- m I have no experience with dialysis, but I wanted to offer my support. Sending prayers and good thoughts to you, and to your mom. Take care. Bonnie Diane, wish I could offer some good advice. Will be praying about the situation for you and your Mom. Gwen > Hi - Many of you have heard of Mom's multiple health issues the past 2 > years. Mom went into the hospital on Monday because her kidney blood [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > > Cyberhugs....DianeW it's so hard to watch our parents pain and suffering. . . and especially hard when they don't know what to do and we're suddenly the caretakers and decision makers. my heart goes out to you. it sounds as though she's willing to give it a try. maybe after a few treatments she will be better able to make up her mind if she wants to continue it or not. i'm sorry you and she are going through this, diane > Hi - Many of you have heard of Mom's multiple health issues the past 2 > years. Mom went into the hospital on Monday because her kidney blood [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > > Cyberhugs....DianeW ((((((((((((((((((((((((dianew)))))))))))))))))))))))) sigh . . . i totally feel for you, diane. this is not a place i'd want to have to be again. unfortunately, butch delayed dialysis for as long as he could, until it was absolutely necessary. i sometimes think, if he had gone with the one time dialysis procedure, early on, when it was first suggested, it might have helped him stave off the need for permanent dialysis and given his kidneys a chance to get stronger. but who knows. and that could just be stinkin-thinkin on my part. cradle your mom, hold her and comfort her, sweetie. if your mom asks you, i'd say tell her it is ok to try dialysis and that it is ok for her to trust her doctors. tell her it's going to be ok and she's going to be ok, even if you don't know for certain if that's true. i think (i could be wrong), she might need to be reassured and comforted about everything that is happening to her and everything the doctors want to do. sadly, after awhile, with all that a patient goes through in this kind of situation, the patient sometimes loses complete trust in their doctor, because they simply want everything to just stop; and sometimes, they even becomes a bit paranoid about doctors and what doctors want to or need to do. it's the fear and the stress of the whole ordeal, causing the confusion. they get so exhausted at every level of their being. it just seems to help them when they are reassured by somebody they know loves them and cares about them. my heart goes out to you, diane and to your mom. as do my prayers. kate Well said Kate. Duckie >>Hi - Many of you have heard of Mom's multiple health issues the past 2 >>years. Mom went into the hospital on Monday because her kidney blood [quoted text clipped - 62 lines] > > kate  Signature_('> (_<_) _ _('< -quack (_<_) _ __('< *QUACK!* <_{__) _('< "|,,|_" (_<_) _('< "AFLAC!" (_<_) prayers on the way. SignatureLove and hugs to all Good thoughts coming your way too. Squirrely Jo > Hi - Many of you have heard of Mom's multiple health issues the past 2 > years. Mom went into the hospital on Monday because her kidney blood [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > > Cyberhugs....DianeW lots of prayers for your mom and for you. With all of your mom's health issues, there just are no easy answers, but may you find the right answer for her. SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare >I don't know what >I should do. I'm her health care surrogate but think she's still >considered able to make her own decisions. She's going to ask me what >to do and I don't know what to say. I know she's been very confused >lately due to the toxicity of the kidney failure Difficult choiceI I pray that your mother is lucid enough to help you make the right choice. My Parents have been crystal clear what they wanted but my mother still had to make the final painful choice for my father. I think it was the right choice but it was heartbreaking. -- MZ Visit my website: http://www.mzuschlag.com >>I don't know what >>I should do. I'm her health care surrogate but think she's still [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > father. I think it was the right choice but it was heartbreaking. -- > MZ I've really tried to make what I would want clear to Charlie and to my daughters. To the extent of telling them too soon is better than too late, and never to feel guilty. But there is no way to make these things easy. Jo Diane W. I had been praying ever since you first posted this. I was glad to see that your mom is doing better. I am glad she does not need the dialysis right now. I sure hope she and you both heal quickly. SignatureLove and hugs to all Good thoughts coming your way too. Squirrely Jo > Hi - Many of you have heard of Mom's multiple health issues the past 2 > years. Mom went into the hospital on Monday because her kidney blood [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > > Cyberhugs....DianeW {{{{{{{Diane and Mom}}}}}}} DeeTee > Hi - Many of you have heard of Mom's multiple health issues the past 2 > years. Mom went into the hospital on Monday because her kidney blood [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > > Cyberhugs....DianeW Sending Good Thoughts, {{{{Mom, Diane}}}} GramPaHugs, Alex, > Hi - > OK - Thanks for listening. I'm going to take a shower and will check in > again before I leave. > > Cyberhugs....DianeW -- **************************************************** * Love radiating from 45.10n x 93.30w M/SP Mn * http://home.mn.rr.com/apbiii * http://grampahugs.is-a-geek.org/ * http://grampahugs.ath.cx/grampahugs/ **************************************************** We are all praying for you. Keep us informed. Loujean >Hi - Many of you have heard of Mom's multiple health issues the past 2 >years. Mom went into the hospital on Monday because her kidney blood [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > >Cyberhugs....DianeW |
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