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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Arthritis / July 2005OT--"Bossy" care giver
I have a regular aide--who in my eyes is PUSHY......."you should do this" etc...... Then I "lose my temper" and tell her off (she'll cry like a baby)--when she suggest something that isn't her business (tells me how I "should pay my bills" or she'll say "Don't cancel me, I need the hours" to which I say "That's not my problem"...... she is out of line.......and I don't think it is proper for her to ask that. She is pushin' it.......and p*ssing me off.....it's MY house...not hers! A friend of mine was very angry--because she left the cardboard under a raw pizza--and the bottom wasn't cooked (we had to throw it out......)and HE was ready to tell her off. Another time (I was in shower) she went to get my lunch and "expected to be served first" And she was told off my the lady running it...... Right now I'm worried about my county medicare/medicaid not covering my meds as of 7-1-05-- Kinda stressed out........ She had better WATCH it........or she ain't gonna be here much longer. The next time she has time off (family in from Japan) she may be axed--for more than a week .........She'll wonder why?? DUH!! Drives me nutty when she oversteps! SHE works for me--not vice versa Bonnie if your the boss, then be the boss. fire her, it doesn't matter she needs more hours. Get rid of her, or do you like being pushed around me Why not call the agency where you hired her from and tell them you are not satisfied. There is no need for you to have a confrontation with her unless you want to. Ann Good point Ann Agency has been made aware of it.........solution in previous posts......... It is just that I "hear" her being BOSSY.....even if she can't see it....... I CAN Sorry IF I sounded harsh. I didn't mean to be. I am having a very rough day and should not post when feeling like "s..." Hope you find a solution that is best for you. janers > Sorry IF I sounded harsh. I didn't mean to be. I am having a very rough > day and should not post when feeling like "s..." > > Hope you find a solution that is best for you. > janers Hayyyyy, if they can forgive me several times for the same reason,,,,, you have nothing to worry about. It is good for a person get it all out about the world around them. That bottled up stuff is not good for people with arthritis. Harv Ps took my last TB pill this morning.... I am a happy guy. >> Sorry IF I sounded harsh. I didn't mean to be. I am having a very rough >> day and should not post when feeling like "s..." [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > Ps took my last TB pill this morning.... I am a happy guy. Oh Harv, I'm so happy for you. I know those pills have put you through the mill. Jo >> Ps took my last TB pill this morning.... I am a happy guy. > > Oh Harv, I'm so happy for you. I know those pills have put you through the > mill. > > Jo Ditto! that's wonderful news. I hope you recover quickly from the ravages of the med.  SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare > Ditto! that's wonderful news. I hope you recover quickly from the > ravages > of the medicine > Nann It is a tough medicine but so is having TB in a persons system. When a persons TB has progressed until the lungs are putting out the infection to others,,,, its four medicines and one of them is what I took. To tell the truth about it,,,, you know I have high hopes of no more wild immune system... With the end of the medicine, will I have a relapsed condition? I am kind of used to being able to make up my bed in the morning and doing what needs doing in the yard and house. Now, now, now, there I go with my fears instead of being positive. It is so easy to give into our fears but I have been dealing with this stuff since I was 38. Swollen joints and pain have been a way of life during most of those years. Hhhhm, to be able to shake hands again as they do instead of grabbing their fingers so they could not squeeeez. :-) We shall see said the blind man. Harv Harv, I'm glad to hear the TB meds are dont at least. Every little bit helps. By the way my daughter is buying a house in Missouri City. Is that a little closer to where you are? Cooly >>Ditto! that's wonderful news. I hope you recover quickly from the >>ravages [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > not squeeeez. :-) We shall see said the blind man. > Harv > Harv, I'm glad to hear the TB meds are dont at least. Every little bit > helps. By the way my daughter is buying a house in Missouri City. Is that > a little closer to where you are? > Cooly Hi Cooly, That is a great little town and just far enough out of the city of Houston for a person to get the feel of the country. I live in the city of Houston on 45 also just after Alameda Mall a street or two but if you see Beltway 8 you have gone too far. :-) It is called Sagemont and/or Kirkmont with about 45,000 in them. Harv She has been told reeatedly -------by me..and LOUDLY--to cut it out! However.........She will be WARNED! and then I'll CUT her hours (reguesting someone else) And when she's only got two hours..........I may severly cut her hours when she goes on vacation again. Bonnie hey, Bonnie, she's supposed to be there to help you, not kick your stress up even higher! Do just as you've said, for your own peace of mind. If she can't/isn't willing to change in the ways you need her to, move on. Or as my DH would say, she can fish or cut bait. You are the employer. got my fingers crossed for you that all works out SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare > She has been told reeatedly -------by me..and LOUDLY--to cut it out! > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Bonnie Her hours wil be cut soon.......I almost had an argument with her today....not to pleasent to be bossed around A cut in hours is exactly what she doesn't want--but how else will I get her to listen?? Yelling and reasoning with her hasnt helped Gotta hit her wallet Cant take it anymore......will call agency tomorrow......talk to them. My check book gets screwed up because she duplicates entries or puts charge card entries in checkbook wothout looking at the number on the slips. Debit card entries go in check books--not credit card ones Bonnie > Her hours wil be cut soon.......I almost had an argument with her > today....not to pleasent to be bossed around [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Bonnie You let her touch your credit cards and cheque books, or does she do this on her own? If she's doing it without any sort of permission, FIRE her NOW. Too many 'caregivers' rip off people by getting into their cards/books. Just my opinion, Bonnie. Ari > You let her touch your credit cards and cheque books, or does she do this > on her own? If she's doing it without any sort of permission, FIRE her > NOW. Too many 'caregivers' rip off people by getting into their > cards/books. Just my opinion, Bonnie. > > Ari But a good, sound opinion that should be followed IMO. Harv Agency was called.........next schedule 2 of her 6 hours will be removed To see if she "gets it" If BOSSY continues her usual dominant way......2 more hours will be removed same as above....... and if she does it yet again.......she'll no longer work for me I've HAD it with her!!! I've put up with her LONG enough. Way too many CHANCES! Bonnie "Bossy" care giver will permanently be switched outta here the week of July 27, my birthday. Now I look foward to having the new girl who'll take her place--we got along fine. Bonnie > "Bossy" care giver will permanently be switched outta here the week of > July 27, my birthday. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Bonnie Good to hear that everything has worked out. I hope the new assistant will be a breath of fresh air compared to the old one. Ari Signaturespammage trappage: replace fishies_ with yahoo I'm going to die rather sooner than I'd like. I tried to protect my neighbours from crime, and became the victim of it. Complications in hospital following this resulted in a serious illness. I now need a bone marrow transplant. Many people around the world are waiting for a marrow transplant, too. Please volunteer to be a marrow donor: http://www.abmdr.org.au/ http://www.marrow.org/ Ya-- I guess the way I see is that she was too controling--pushy--after all she's not my mother. It doesn't always mean HER way is always right....She who has messed up my checkbook a number of times.....It wasn't me writing in the book.,....she claiming she doesn't know how a debit card works--I do--bit she stil ban mess up the book--and I have to take it to get double checked at the bank Even mothers "let go" at some point...... I don't want her so completely "taking over" so that I have lost total control of running my own life life.........I am not in a nursing home etc...... She may feel like she is "suggesting" but I don't hear it that way in her tone of voice--anf it feels like pushiness Bonnie > "Bossy" care giver will permanently be switched outta here the week of > July 27, my birthday. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Bonnie Good news, Bonnie. it sounds like it was MORE than time for a change! SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare >>"Bossy" care giver will permanently be switched outta here the week of >>July 27, my birthday. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >> >>Bonnie > Good news, Bonnie. it sounds like it was MORE than time for a change! And you can be rid of this bossy care giver without the fuss of a divorce :P SignatureNathan Engle Computer Support, IUB Psych Dept nengle@indiana.edu http://mypage.iu.edu/~nengle "Some Assembly Required" Bossy is also lazy...........she couldn't find spatula...........it was right where it always is....Bossy too lazy to look for it Took other aide 30 seconds to find it--in the same drawer. I'm happier knowing shes on her way outta here Bonnie Bossy couldn't say much when I told her we found TWO spatulas Yesterday she was cookin' eggs and turned them with a cake tool--the darn spatulas were right where I and also she always put them...too lazy to dig in a small drawer I know darn well she can use a broom......she just want to get the dirt line up (that the dust pan leaves) with the vacuum I was told that the vacuum can ruin the floors.....I don't approve of that way of "sweeping" 2 very small apartment floors--nor do I believe she'd pay for ruining the floor--because she was too lazy to push a broom. Just HER way....is not MY way......MY way.......MY house.......not hers Hell--even the pans I bought to cook with--aren't good enough for her...'Maybe she ought to buy them" I didn't buy new ones to satisfy her though. She's not only bossy......but picky! Bonnie Bossy's last day is tomorrow, since they needed her to fill two hours. Apparently, she won't be told why she was removed--and I won't tell her... I believe deep down she knows she's too controling--considering she has been told that by me many times. Bonnie She'll be switched out when she takes her week of vacation. Bonnie No, she just ties to tell me how to pay/how much to pay on the bill I started reducing her hourrs---soon she will be left with NONE! Bonnie Bonnie, You have to do what you have to do! debbie m. > I have a regular aide--who in my eyes is PUSHY......."you should do > this" etc...... [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > > Bonnie off tack, just a tad bit here, and i might need to feather my sails. however, since you mentioned her family in japan---i'm wondering if there isn't dissimilar acculturations getting inbetween both of you receiving what you desire from each other and each of your expectations of her role in your household. having been to japan, i noticed that a japanese woman's role, in a home she is caring for, is very different than an american woman's perspective of her role. japanese women tend to take on far more responsibility, without being asked to do so, kind of montessouri-esque, and tend to be inclined towards perfectionism with what american women would consider minutiae. i'm not saying that is a bad thing. it's just a cultural difference. kate > I have a regular aide--who in my eyes is PUSHY......."you should do > this" etc...... [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > > Bonnie She is NOT Japanese--in any way--her son lives there. Bonnie > She is NOT Japanese--in any way--her son lives there. > > Bonnie lOLOLOLOL So it goes on the internet. LOLOL Harv >>She is NOT Japanese--in any way--her son lives there. >> [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Harv If she's that bad with Bonnie...I guess her son figured the other side of the planet was a good distance for sanity :-) We talked again.......she knows next time won't say anything. I am the one who makes the final say. Bonnie You see people.........I was under the control of a child molester at age 15. Now at 40, I am learning to take control--of my life, to be assertive "tell peo[ple off" if I have to That includes the caregiver......when she gets bossy Bonnie > You see people.........I was under the control of a child molester at > age 15. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Bonnie Good for you Bonnie. My oldest daughters 2d husband was abused as a young boy. It is something that a person lives with and many,,,, not to well for lots of years. People that abuse children are the scum of the earth and their actions cause things to happen or not for 50 years or so but it seems they do well in Calf. and other places. I am so lucky that no one abused my children to my knowledge. I would of abused them as well and probably spent a great deal of my years behind bars. God please forgive my angry thoughts. Harv The problem with the county medicare/medicaid was just a matter of paperwork--a yearly review with medical social worker Cards reinstated--active again Bonnie |
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