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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Arthritis / June 2005OTP: How to tell you live too far north
You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. You have 10 favorite recipes for elk, moose or deer meat. You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is three feet above the ground. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow. You think everyone from the city has an accent. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun. You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't come up n your deck. There is only one shopping plaza in town. You find -40C a little chilly. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer. Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout. There are two seasons: Liquid and Solid Nine months of winter and three months of rough sledding. Six inches of snow is still considered a heavy frost. You actually 'get' these jokes, and forward them to all your Northern friends. ... Epitaph for IMELDA MARCOS -- No one can ever fill her shoes. Thanks Joe Reminders of our three years in Anchorage. Remind me again why I'm paying good money for a cruise to Alaska? Jo > You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit. > [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > > ... Epitaph for IMELDA MARCOS -- No one can ever fill her shoes. > Thanks Joe > > Reminders of our three years in Anchorage. > > Remind me again why I'm paying good money for a cruise to Alaska? Because it's the most beautiful place to see.. by boat.,..as you're passing quickly through to Tahiti??? > You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit. nah, we just stay indoors and hand out the candy now - but they have to trick-or-treat early because the bears may not be hibernating yet, and they make sure hunting season doesn't start until AFTER Holloween! > You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. bought both used, and the snow blower doesn't have an odometer. But the '89 Corolla has 240K so far........ The snow here is easy to shovel though, much drier and lighter than the snow in Boston. > You have 10 favorite recipes for elk, moose or deer meat. don't mauch care for venison, but caribou is good.... > You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is three feet > above the ground. heehee, we have steps, and shovels and a snow blower..... > Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow. potholes? try ruts. Most of our roads around here are gravel. The few that are fully paved are fairly well maintained as they are the state and federal highways. You drive fast in the summer so you don't bottom out on the ruts and holes and in the winter because the road is finally smooth! Taht is, assuming you can see through the dust (summer) and falling snow (winter). > You think everyone from the city has an accent. > > You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 > buttons. Who needs sexy lingerie? Inspiration comes from snuggling up in bed to stay warm...... <beg>......... > At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant. with my joints? nah, we have friendly folks who give us already processed meat. Know at least one person with a real butchering shed on his land. > The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun. yeah, but it leaves holes in the deck...... > You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't come > up n your deck. your durn tootin'! And you don't put your tracsh out the night before neither! > There is only one shopping plaza in town. PLAZA?!?!?!?! well, if you call the BP station/Subway/Donatello's Pizza a plaza....... otherwise, the nearest "shopping plaza" is 25 miles away > You find -40C a little chilly. yeah, might be time for the down jacket by then.... > The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer. Makes bringing food home from that "shopping plaza" much easier :) Used our cooler in the garage as a freezer last winter for the stuff that didn't fint in our frig's freezer. Had to use the cooler so the critters wouldn't smell the stuff and storm the garage. > Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout. snow here is too dry and lightweight, usually, to be a workout. Most folks do place a premium on *short* driveways, though, LOL > There are two seasons: Liquid and Solid > > Nine months of winter and three months of rough sledding. > > Six inches of snow is still considered a heavy frost. well, yeah. "course there no telling what my high school friend who now lives in Huslia Alaska would say..... and he's off having outdoor adventures for the summer so I can't find out. > You actually 'get' these jokes, and forward them to all > your Northern friends. > > ... Epitaph for IMELDA MARCOS -- No one can ever fill her shoes.  SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare > You think everyone from the city has an accent. I thought that when I lived in Illinois. As for the rest, I appreciate feeling that I do not live in the snowy north, here is sunny South Dakota where they expect me to drive to the reservation when there are only a few inches of snow on Medicine Butte....... |
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