From my Mom.

" Many of us over 50 -- WAY over 50, or on the way to 50 -- are quite
confused about how we should present ourselves. We're unsure about the
kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we
try to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on
the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should
be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedos and cellulite
7. A belly-button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Pierced nipples that hang below the waist
11. Bikinis and liver spots
12. Short shorts and varicose veins
13. Inline skates and a walker

And the ultimate "Bad Taste" in fashion for the "Older Folks":

14. Thongs and Depends