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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Arthritis / April 2005otp--something about today . . .
have you ever had a physical, where the more you think about it, after you've left the doctor's office, the more you feel like saying, "f_ _k it. why bother"? there was something vague about it all today, perhaps about the process, that i can't quite put my finger on, makes me just want to withdraw from and resent the "inconveniences" of using up my finite time, for going through the motions of "preventative" annual exams---of having blood draws done and supposedly "needing" to schedule yet another mamo, yet another dexa for this year. there was something about my round-filing yet another written doctor's order for a colonoscopy that i have had no intention of putting myself through for the past 7 years. and she knows it. and i've told her. still, she thinks i'll change my mind about it. there was something about listening to, but no longer caring about, the yada yadas of the current (scripted and well advertized in the media--so transparent and manipulatingly vogue) medical info-babble---"the quit this; the do thats and maybe, just maybe . . . all will be right with your world", as if anything is really going to add one more minute to my life, if i am struck down by happenstance. and there's something about hearing the disrespectful (or was it disdainful? or was it condescending?) insults like, "what part of DIFFUSE don't you understand?" (in response to a question about whether diffusion is localized to the area xrayed or can it be considered more broadly generalized.) there's something about those quirky cranky-noises i heard, those utterances that escape from source and impale, that makes one feel like crawling under a rock is preferable to trying to participate in one's own body/health management. well, i suppose i should apologize. i suppose i should be sorry, for being a poet, for thinking and seeing like a poet does. i suppose i should be sorry that some words have many more and sometimes odd layers, linkages and levels of meaning for me, than they do for many people. sometimes, i really wonder why i bother going against my d'ruthers and why i keep ignoring burns' admonition to "live while you live, and then, die and be done with it." ouuuu . . . there was "just something" palpable and unpalatable about today . . . kate (((((Kate))))) Cindy > have you ever had a physical, where the more you think about it, after > you've left the doctor's office, the more you feel like saying, "f_ _k it. [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] > > kate thanx, cindy. i appreciate the hugs. kate > (((((Kate))))) > Cindy [quoted text clipped - 41 lines] >> >> kate Yes, I go through this from time to time. Days when I wonder why am I bothering with the 15 daily medications when I am not gonna get through this thing alive anyway. Then I get a phone call or watch a tv program or read something and I just keep going. You're not the only one! DeeTee ________________________________ DeeTee and Bob Taggart http://www.marykay.com/dtaggart3 http://mysite.verizon.net/vze8fwov/ ________________________________ > have you ever had a physical, where the more you think about it, after > you've left the doctor's office, the more you feel like saying, "f_ _k it. [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] > > kate > Yes, I go through this from time to time. Days when I wonder why am I > bothering with the 15 daily medications when I am not gonna get through [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > You're not the only one! > DeeTee sounds like you and i are a couple of energizer bunnies. ô¿ô some days, it's just one foot in front of the other. 'course, it would be more fun if we had a big, loud drum. kate > ________________________________ > DeeTee and Bob Taggart [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] >> >> kate ((((((((((Kate)))))))))))) sounds like you really have medicalese fatigue, not to mention a PCP who isn't on the same page as you. Considering how much more intelligent than much of the population you are, that comeback about "diffuse" was most inappropriate. Heck, my PCP is always happy when patients are truly trying to understand what is going on.  SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare > ((((((((((Kate)))))))))))) sounds like you really have medicalese fatigue, > not to mention a PCP who isn't on the same page as you. Considering how much > more intelligent than much of the population you are, that comeback about > "diffuse" was most inappropriate. Heck, my PCP is always happy when patients > are truly trying to understand what is going on. I agree with Nann. My doctor encourages questions. He is more than happy to explain things to me, and I've finally gotten over my complex that I have to pretend to know everything and I'm asking. I should have kept a list of all the new BIG words I've learned :-)) I'm surprised you didn't tell the doctor off, Kate :)) If there is anything I hate, it's someone who is condescending. Hell, you are the one paying them! So get your answers! {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kate}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Carole :) >> ((((((((((Kate)))))))))))) sounds like you really have medicalese >> fatigue, not to mention a PCP who isn't on the same page as you. [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kate}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} thank you, carol. it was like i had somebody else's doctor yesterday. weird. ummm . . . i try very hard not to tell people off, carole, cuz i get evil. kate > Carole :) > ((((((((((Kate)))))))))))) sounds like you really have medicalese > fatigue, [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > patients > are truly trying to understand what is going on. boy, i think i do have "medicalese fatigue". ummm . . . i know i'm a bit of a hypochondriac, but if i have to have something, i might as well know what it is. what's "medicalese fatigue"? <g> you know what kind of blows me away? my doctor was a retired high school english teacher before she went back to school to become a doctor. so, i'd have thought we should have been better able to relate. i mean, do medical schools screw your mind up that bad?LOL kate > remove the Gator cheer to email me > Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare > boy, i think i do have "medicalese fatigue". ummm . . . i know i'm a bit of > a hypochondriac, but if i have to have something, i might as well know what > it is. what's "medicalese fatigue"? <g> Just what was referred to in another post - too much time spent with doctors and with going over reports in medical terminology. And a need/desire to have everything put on hold for a while to let you catch up...... hypochondriac??!?!?!?! You?????? who has lived with such great pain for so many years. Don't think so. Can't sell me on that one. SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare >> boy, i think i do have "medicalese fatigue". ummm . . . i know i'm a bit >> of [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > and with going over reports in medical terminology. And a need/desire to > have everything put on hold for a while to let you catch up...... oh. it was what i thought it was!-- before my brain misfired and told me to check it out, just to be sure. > hypochondriac??!?!?!?! You?????? who has lived with such great pain for > so > many years. Don't think so. Can't sell me on that one. <smile> drat! i thought if i could convince you, then i might be able to return a few of these OTL diseases by default. y'know me, i just got this scathingly brilliant idea and ran with it--- "the diseases not being real, being all in my head and such", should make them returnable, wouldn't you agree? thought it was worth a try. y'think? i just know there's gotta be a way to return these. i just haven't hit upon the right "how", yet. (still trying) still thinking, maybe i've got the right idea this time, but just need to work a few kinks out it. it just felt soooo close. ô¿ô kate >> hypochondriac??!?!?!?! You?????? who has lived with such great pain for >> so [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > (still trying) still thinking, maybe i've got the right idea this time, but > just need to work a few kinks out it. it just felt soooo close. ô¿ô sorry, girl. I think you already tried that route! LOL and I can tell you from personal experience that it generally doesn't work! LOL 'course if you REALLY were a hypochondriac, it might work for some stuff, but we types who are accustomed to toughing it out don't really even seem to notice those illnesses that will go away. speaking of which, I've had this blasted virus for 3 weeks now. I know it's a real hanger-on of a bug, but this is getting excessive. I want it GONE so I can take my Enbrel again! When you work out a way, be sure to let us know! SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare So you are why I was quoting Burns in my head all day yesterday. I've got to learn more of his stuff that Grandma wouldn't have taught me. I'm hardly a poet. I guess the world needs us bean counters too. Figure I do pretty well as many accountants I know are just barely able to communicate at all. Grandma taught me to love poetry. But I tend to enjoy the sound and the feel of the words as much if not more than the meaning. One I like the sound and feel of is "Do not go gently into that good night" We do all love you. Jo > have you ever had a physical, where the more you think about it, after > you've left the doctor's office, the more you feel like saying, "f_ _k it. [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] > > kate > So you are why I was quoting Burns in my head all day yesterday. I've got > to learn more of his stuff that Grandma wouldn't have taught me. [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > Jo that was the sweetest message, jo. thank you. "Oh, wud God the gift He gie us, to see ourselves as others see us." -- also from bobbie burns (but i won't tell you the title of the poem. i'll let you have the pleasure and humorous surprise of finding it for yourself, in it's wry context.<smile>) oh, yeah. you are sooo right, jo. poetry is much more than meaning and poetic devices, it is sounds and cadences; actually, it's ALL of the physical senses, savored from a page. you're no ordinary bean counter, jo. kate kate >> have you ever had a physical, where the more you think about it, after >> you've left the doctor's office, the more you feel like saying, "f_ _k [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] >> >> kate >> So you are why I was quoting Burns in my head all day yesterday. I've >> got to learn more of his stuff that Grandma wouldn't have taught me. [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > let you have the pleasure and humorous surprise of finding it for > yourself, in it's wry context.<smile>) It's funny. That is the verse that had been running through my head all day. I'd read the whole poem before but had only learned the last two verses. It was a nice reminder. Jo >>> So you are why I was quoting Burns in my head all day yesterday. I've >>> got to learn more of his stuff that Grandma wouldn't have taught me. [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > > Jo LOL! i hear you, jo. you probably hear the music in the language of his poems (cuz many of his poems were songs). burns also had a knack for writing one line into almost every poem and that line would just stick in the minds of everybody. just like his, "the best laid schemes o mice an' men," and the other lines, from other poems, we've already mentioned. of course, burns did not have the corner on that propensity for "mind-sticking lines" though.<smile> kate LOL - You know I had to look it up. That was funny...and appropriate! DeeTee ________________________________ DeeTee and Bob Taggart http://www.marykay.com/dtaggart3 http://mysite.verizon.net/vze8fwov/ ________________________________ >> So you are why I was quoting Burns in my head all day yesterday. I've >> got to learn more of his stuff that Grandma wouldn't have taught me. [quoted text clipped - 73 lines] >>> >>> kate > LOL - You know I had to look it up. That was funny...and appropriate! > > DeeTee <giggling> i love that you did look it up, deetee. it's definitely a fun perspective burns shared with us.LOL kate > ________________________________ > DeeTee and Bob Taggart [quoted text clipped - 80 lines] >>>> >>>> kate We probably all suffer from medical/doctor "burn out" every few years. I went through mine after undergoing treatment for scleraderma a few years ago. I was so lucky to have the skin involvement only and it became stable with meds.. So even though I got well I still suffered the burn out. Not one more test! I just refused and there are still things I have not caught up on to this day. (Also, I feel kinda silly when a new dr. asks me why I didn't get such and such test done.) Oooops! My bad! jo nj > have you ever had a physical, where the more you think about it, after > you've left the doctor's office, the more you feel like saying, "f_ _k it. > why bother"? Yup, you are not alone. Sometimes I just feel "non-compliant" myself. I've had somewhat rude doctors but not that bad. I met a lady today on the way home who was picked up by the same transportation service I use. She was headed to a doctor for a three month checkup. She was using the visit to tell him off and to also tell him to his face that it was going to be her last visit to him and why. He's a specialist and she had waited 9 months to see him when the specialist she had been going to left the area. We all get tired and figure what's the use. But then today I got a phone call from my doctor (who actually talks to his patients on the phone!) telling me my cholesterol was still high and my thyroid was low. Saw my neurologist today who is a sweetie. She actually escorts her own patients in. She had powdered donuts on the table in her waiting room. If they had been cake donuts I would have had one but I didn't feel like looking like I had a bad case of dandruff. LOL Just hang in there, kiddo. ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) Nell > Yup, you are not alone. > [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > > Nell thanks, nell. that's such an interesting phrase, "just feel non-compliant". it's kinda funny, when you think about it, how we pay people (doctors) so that we can obey them. what is it that happens to us as we get older? i mean, just think about it--- no kid, in his right mind, would pay his parents so that he could obey them. what are we doing to ourselves, as we get older?---buying/renting a new set of parents?LOL kate kate maybe you're right. maybe it really has been a bit intense with the medicos for awhile. thanks for that perspective. kate > We probably all suffer from medical/doctor "burn out" every few years. > I went through mine after undergoing treatment for scleraderma a few years [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] >> you've left the doctor's office, the more you feel like saying, "f_ _k >> it. why bother"? Maybe it was today. But I am right there with you. You use words and no one listens. You use more words and no one cares. I am tired as well Duckie > have you ever had a physical, where the more you think about it, after > you've left the doctor's office, the more you feel like saying, "f_ _k it. [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] > > kate Signature_('> (_<_) _ _('< -quack (_<_) _ __('< *QUACK!* <_{__) _('< "|,,|_" (_<_) _('< "AFLAC!" (_<_) > Maybe it was today. But I am right there with you. You use words and no > one listens. You use more words and no one cares. I am tired as well > Duckie that's how i feel, duckie, too tired to fight it. i wanna pick a different battle---maybe a snowball fight? you in? kate >> have you ever had a physical, where the more you think about it, after >> you've left the doctor's office, the more you feel like saying, "f_ _k [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] >> >> kate Both Kate and Duckie, Denise and I both are sending good thoughts your way. I read your messages to Denise this morning. You both seem to be frazzled her of late. So I hope things go better and slow down for you to catch your breath. I can see it has been a really busy time for the both of you. Our hearts are with you all the time. So just think about us hugging you softly when you get a moment to sit down and relax. SignatureLove and hugs to all Good thoughts coming your way too. Squirrely Jo > have you ever had a physical, where the more you think about it, after > you've left the doctor's office, the more you feel like saying, "f_ _k it. [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] > > kate |
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