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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Arthritis / April 2005Bad Karma?
Was it the TV character Maude that used the phrase "God will get you for this" all the time? Now I'm not really mean enough to wish gimpdom on anyone. And do not believe that bad things just happen to ad people or even that bad things always happen for a reason. But... Some years ago when I first got my handicap parking plaque, Charlie would not park in a handicap spot if he was driving and I was with him. I had to threaten mayhem to get him to use valet parking in Las Vegas. Even his extremely independent sister believes valet parking is God's gift to gimps. With time and practice and a few perks like being allowed into remote parts of Yosemite with our car and he began to relent. The kids stopped feeling odd about us using the spaces and started to feel privileged that we usually got a good place to park. But the mighty have fallen. When Charlie broke his heel last year he just about totaled the opposing knee in getting around the house. He would not or could not use crutches and insisted on crawling. Now he has more trouble getting out of a chair than I do, and a harder time getting started walking than I do as well. He does better than I do once he's up and running, but has learned the hard way that it isn't always mind over matter. I take no pleasure in this. If only because I'm getting less help around the house than I used to. We both have a hard time navigating the step into the garage with an armload of laundry. A few minutes ago he left for another appointment with the ortho guy that is supposed to be helping him. And left a bit early so he could run by the DMV to pick up his own forms so we can get handicap plates on both cars. Jo (Maybe now he will let me show him how to stretch before you get out of bed so you are not so likely to land flat on your face when you do get out of bed.) > Was it the TV character Maude that used the phrase "God will get you for > this" all the time? > > Now I'm not really mean enough to wish gimpdom on anyone. And do not > believe that bad things just happen to ad people or even that bad things > always happen for a reason. But... > > Some years ago when I first got my handicap parking plaque, Charlie would > not park in a handicap spot if he was driving and I was with him. Which is why my DH (Jim) wants me to drive. People seem to lighten up about the handicapped parking, when they see me get out of the driver's side with my cane. Strangely, we get "looks" and "sound offs" if he is driving, since he could just drop me off and park elsewhere (they think). Considering I need his arm to balance me out... but why am I explaining this to you all? (ha). I had to > threaten mayhem to get him to use valet parking in Las Vegas. Even his > extremely independent sister believes valet parking is God's gift to gimps. Ahhhh, valet parking. Even before my gimphood I used it, simply because then I didn't have to find a freakin' parking place. Even our hospital has valet parking (in Grand Junction, Colorado no less!). > With time and practice and a few perks like being allowed into remote parts > of Yosemite with our car and he began to relent. The kids stopped feeling [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > than I do as well. He does better than I do once he's up and running, but > has learned the hard way that it isn't always mind over matter. Unfortunately, I believe my Jim may have RA, but will he get tested? Oh no, can't do that! Twit. He used to play the "I hurt more than you do" game with me, before my diagnosis, and now he is realizing that while he hurt, it probably wasn't worse (though now it could be equal). What is with the my-pain-is-worse-than-yours thing? Does every couple go through that, or was *I* just the lucky one? Poor guy, at his next physical, I've got his doctor primed to test for RA and other lovelies, but he doesn't know that (sometimes, ya gotta be sneaky). > I take no pleasure in this. If only because I'm getting less help around > the house than I used to. We both have a hard time navigating the step into [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > so you are not so likely to land flat on your face when you do get out of > bed.) Jo, here's hoping that you and Charlie get all things taken care of, that you both have more pain-free days, and that all "comes up roses" in your neck of the woods. Smokie Darling (Annie) Yep - why is it that the able-bodied just don't get it....until they "get it" y'know? Ah, well, some lessons have to be learned the hard way. Hugs anyway, DeeTee ________________________________ DeeTee and Bob Taggart http://www.marykay.com/dtaggart3 http://mysite.verizon.net/vze8fwov/ ________________________________ >> Was it the TV character Maude that used the phrase "God will get you > for [quoted text clipped - 82 lines] > > Smokie Darling (Annie) > Yep - why is it that the able-bodied just don't get it....until they "get > it" y'know? Ah, well, some lessons have to be learned the hard way. Sad but true. I'd be happy to trade the sympathy I'm getting from him now for the help I was getting before. Jo > Was it the TV character Maude that used the phrase "God will get you for > this" all the time? Yup, that was Maude :-) Always loved her! My Mom was the same way. She wouldn't get a handicapped parking thing until one day I went to the doctor with her, and I asked him about it. He said "Of course she should have one!" and immediately went and got the form and filled it out for her. When I first got sick, I was told "NO ACTIVITY". In Washington you can download the form off the internet, so when I went back to the doctor a few days later, I asked him about it. He said that I absolutely should have one and filled it out right then and there for me. I find it so helpful when I have to go food shopping (as the shopping part tires me out to no end), and if I have to go to a store like Walmart for anything. Their parking lot is HUGE and there is no way I can walk that distance. I have to admit that out here in Washington, no one has made any comments at all. I mean, no I don't look handicapped, but then what does severe congestive heart failure look like? If anyone ever did say anything to me, I'd ask them if they wanted to trade hearts with me. Carole I know some people wonder why I have a handicapped hangtag because when my hip bursitis isn't too bad I don't limp, but my heart and lung problems don't show--but I sure can feel them. And if I walk much both hips give me lots of trouble. So I just pretend everybody knows why I use it and just go about my business! Gwen > > Was it the TV character Maude that used the phrase "God will get you for > > this" all the time? [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > > Carole > out to no end), and if I have to go to a store like Walmart for > anything. that takes me off on a tangent (so what else is new? LOL) We have a WM supercenter here, albeit a "small" supercenter. I plan my trips there so I move from one end to another. Sometimes I realize I forgot to pick up something at starting end. Unless we *really* need it, I generally decide to just wait and sometimes end up buying it elsewhere because I'm just to tired or sore to walk the length of that danged big place again. I wonder if they've ever factored customer fatigue into their big push to ave supercenters everywhere.  SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare >>out to no end), and if I have to go to a store like Walmart for >>anything. [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > they've ever factored customer fatigue into their big push to ave > supercenters everywhere. I doubt it. Some of those places are HUGE. I'm like you, Nann, even in the supermarket if I've forgotten something, I'll just say to heck with it and let it go. I have had to face the fact that my life has changed now and I just can't do the things I used to be able to do without giving it a thought. I am grateful for stores that have the electric shopping carts as they get my business. >>>out to no end), and if I have to go to a store like Walmart for anything. >> [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > supermarket if I've forgotten something, I'll just say to heck with it and > let it go. carole and nann, i was a grocery clerk for awhile, for 3 different major companies. seriously, when you get to the register and realize you've forgotten something, just tell the clerk. it's actually his or her job to call somebody immediately to get it for you. that's why they are actually "required" to ask you if you found everything you were looking for (especially with the major companies i worked for). even if the clerk forgets to ask you, and they do forget when they are distracted, tell the clerk you need whatever it is you want. if the clerk feels it will hold up the line, s/he has the option of "asking you" if it ok to ring you through and then, ringing the new item up for you separately and immediately, once it's at the register (because you are still considered an incompleted transaction, no matter how many customers have come between the first ring out and your last item being rung up.) or, the clerk can simply make the rest of the line wait until your transaction is completed. either way, you are the clerk's incompleted transaction, until you have everything you need rung up. there's no need to leave the store without it or chase all over to get it. kate have had to face the fact that my life has changed > now and I just can't do the things I used to be able to do without giving > it a thought. I am grateful for stores that have the electric shopping > carts as they get my business. Thanks, Kate. I hadn't thought of that. DeeTee ________________________________ DeeTee and Bob Taggart http://www.marykay.com/dtaggart3 http://mysite.verizon.net/vze8fwov/ ________________________________ >>>>out to no end), and if I have to go to a store like Walmart for >>>>anything. [quoted text clipped - 38 lines] >> it a thought. I am grateful for stores that have the electric shopping >> carts as they get my business. > carole and nann, i was a grocery clerk for awhile, for 3 different major > companies. seriously, when you get to the register and realize you've [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > > kate I never knew you could do that. I know they always ask if I've found everything, and even when I'm in the aisles I have clerks ask me if I'm finding everything I need. It is most helpful to just ask where things are rather than looking around, especially if I'm in a store that I don't usually go to. I didn't know that they would actually send someone to get something for you if you asked them. I'll keep it in mind :) Thanks! Carole :) Kate wrote: > that's why they are actually "required" to ask you if you found > everything you were looking for (especially with the major > companies i worked for) The clerks is this area appear to have attended the "school of negative thinking." "Is that all?" are the only words they seem to know. Occassionally I'll answer "No," just to see their reaction. Then think of an item like malt for milk shakes. <g> > even if the clerk forgets to ask you, and they do forget when they > are distracted, tell the clerk you need whatever it is you want. Yeah, distracted talking to the clerk in the next check out, discussing the date from the night before. ... Bought a decaffeinated coffee table...can't tell the difference. well, I hope the ortho guy DOES help him, so you can have Charlie helping you more again but now with more understanding re: gimpdom. SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare Wishing you the best for both of you. SignatureLove and hugs to all Good thoughts coming your way too. Squirrely Jo > Was it the TV character Maude that used the phrase "God will get you for > this" all the time? [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] > bed so you are not so likely to land flat on your face when you do get out > of bed.) it IS hard for many healthy, able-bodied people to understand and relate to a gimp's need to adapt situations to accommodate physical needs. for some reason, i dunno, maybe cuz i was a gimp when he met me, butch was generally very considerate and attentive all our married life (though it really was reciprocal), sometimes too much so. sometimes, he used to get very upset with me when i didn't ask him for help and he absolutely really couldn't understand, at all, when i wanted to try to do something for myself that was challenging for me to do. it was much easier for him to ask for help, than it was for me to do so. it wasn't a pride thing. i just didn't want to feel like i was imposing. my mom adored butch, from the beginning, for the way he treated me. but my sisters thought i was being spoiled and thought i thought i was some kind of a "queen bee".LOL (they were healthy and able-bodied---couldn't relate). what my mom knew (because she took care of me post-op, whenever i got home from the hospital, before i was married) and what my sisters didn't know, was that i simply would not ask for help, most of the time. it must be hard for you, jo, knowing how much charlie has helped you in the past. and it probably isn't as much about that he's not helping you as much now, but more like your awareness that he isn't "as_ able_ to" as he once was. i know for a fact, there's a "very sneaky" sadness and compassion for our mates, that hovers in a covert area of our minds, about these kinds of things. (((((((((jo and charlie))))))) i think that might be what you're feeling/sensing, based upon your post-script in this post. then, again, i could be projecting what i experienced and maybe that's not the case for you. kate > Was it the TV character Maude that used the phrase "God will get you for > this" all the time? [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] > bed so you are not so likely to land flat on your face when you do get out > of bed.) |
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