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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Arthritis / March 2005Discrimated against:(
Hi All, Has this happened to any one here, and if it did what did you do? I was shopping at a local grocery store, and waiting with my 7 year old in line. Now, I am sitting in the store provided scooter, and they have my crutches at the service desk. Well, the lady in front of me and the cashier had finished their business, and customer just kept gabbing and gabbing and gabbing to the cashier. Finally, the other lady proceded forward a bit, and I thought they were done. So, I start to tell the cashier something, and I was rudley told they were not done talking. Well, I said if their business was done, and other people were waiting in line, then the cashier needs to turn her attention to the other people in line. The cashier got huffy and told me that there are no other people in line. I asked her what was I, chopped liver? Well, it got uglier after that. I called for the manager of the store, and he says that he will talk with this cashier. I have a very upset 7 year old daughter crying that her mommy was not chopped beef liver and is the best mommy. Well, I go home and the store manager calls me an hour later and of course sides with his cashier. Seems, she told him a pack of lies, such as she told me that there was no one in line "behind me" . And that she knew me and had helped me to my car many times at this store and at another location of this chain of grocery stores. And she went on to tell the manager that she new my blue van and has carried my groceries out for me. That is a pack of lies. I have never shopped at the other location she is talking about, nor do I own a blue van. Also, prior to this knee replacement surgery, I used the regular grocery cart and balanced my crutches with the grocery cart, because you all know that you cannot get groceries for a family of 5 into those little baskets on the scooters. My question, is what do I do? I already told the manager that the chain has lost a customer. He did not really care I know, but it makes me feel better. What, if anything else can I do? The store is taking the cashier's side. I guess that they figure a little handicapped mom of 3 is not going to do anything. I just want to know what and if I should do anything else? Thanks for being here for me to vent and any help. A very tired and defeated feeling handicapped person going to bed. :( Donna K. > Hi All, > [quoted text clipped - 38 lines] > > Donna K. Put it in writing to the head office of the chain, in as much detail as you can (such as every lie the cashier told). You might also wish to use the words "discriminated against on the basis of disability" which should have the higher ups a bit nervous, after the recent Walmart verdict ($7.5 million, wasn't it?). Cheers, Ari  Signaturespammage trappage: replace fishies_ with yahoo I'm going to die rather sooner than I'd like. I tried to protect my neighbours from crime, and became the victim of it. Complications in hospital following this resulted in a serious illness. I now need a bone marrow transplant. Many people around the world are waiting for a marrow transplant, too. Please volunteer to be a marrow donor: http://www.abmdr.org.au/ http://www.marrow.org/ > Put it in writing to the head office of the chain, in as much detail as > you can (such as every lie the cashier told). You might also wish to use > the words "discriminated against on the basis of disability" which should > have the higher ups a bit nervous, after the recent Walmart verdict ($7.5 > million, wasn't it?). Cheers, > Ari And those are my thoughts too. You are not by yourself in being treated that way and your actions will help someone else too. Harv I would be writing to the corporate office of the food chain. Do a search on the net and get the name of the President or CEO. I'd also send a copy of the letter to whatever state office is in charge of discrimination where you live. And make sure you note the CC: on the letter that you send to the company so that they know that you are also informing state officials of the discrimination. I don't blame you for being upset. I'm seething after reading about your experience! Go write those letters, Donna! Hugs, Carole > Hi All, > [quoted text clipped - 38 lines] > > Donna K. I agree. Go get em girl. Pissd me off too. ~Kenny >I would be writing to the corporate office of the food chain. Do a >search on the net and get the name of the President or CEO. I'd also [quoted text clipped - 51 lines] >> >> Donna K. Hi Carole, I know that I should write those letters, but I am still consoling a daughter who is now wondering what is wrong with her mommy. Being disabled,is all she knows me as. And all evening, she kept saying that I am a good mommy and the best mommy and that there is nothing "wrong" with me. best mommy can do.At least some one thinks that I am a "Normal" Mom. Donna K. > I would be writing to the corporate office of the food chain. Do a > search on the net and get the name of the President or CEO. I'd also [quoted text clipped - 51 lines] > > > > Donna K. I don't know if this is a case of discrimination...just horrible, horrible service that shouldn't be tolerated. ESPECIALLY since it offended your daughter so much. If it is a chain, forward a letter to the main office. My hope is there is another store nearby you can go to. Our closest grocery store has HORRIBLE service and I am blessed to have a few options. If it all possible, spend your money somewhere else...that is often the best revenge :) Shandi > Hi Carole, > [quoted text clipped - 79 lines] > > > > > > Donna K. Hi Donna, I can certainly understand how your daughter feels. And this is a good time to teach her that people can be rude, but that there are things you can do about it. I would let her know that the way you were treated in that store was wrong, and that she and you will not be going back there. And then explain to her that you are writing letters to the person(s) who are in charge so that the rude people will not be rude to others. Even children who are not yet in school understand what is meant by going to the Principal's Office. So you can use those type of terms and then take her to the mailbox with you to show her that you are mailing the letters so that the rude people will have to answer for what they did. Let her know that you certainly ARE the best Mommy and that there is nothing "wrong" with you. We are all different and those differences have to be respected. And give her a BIG HUG from me :)))) Hugs, Carole > Hi Carole, > [quoted text clipped - 114 lines] >>> >>>Donna K. > I know that I should write those letters, but I am still consoling a > daughter who is now wondering what is wrong with her mommy. Being > disabled,is all she knows me as. And all evening, she kept saying that I am > a good mommy and the best mommy and that there is nothing "wrong" with me. > best mommy can do.At least some one thinks that I am a "Normal" Mom. donm't know if it would work for you and your daughter, but you might be able to use the letter writing as part of the healing from this for her. Let her know that she is quite right, there is nothing "wrong" with her mommy. the cashier was wrong in her behavior and you are working to make it right. Talk toher about the people you are writing to see that she is corrected in her wrong behavior, just as your daughter is corrected when she behaves poorly (though she obviously already has more respect for others than this cashier has!). But showing your daughter appropriate, and hopefully effective, ways of standing up for oneself could turn this into a very positive learning experience. SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare What would I do? 1) I would sit down and write a letter to the manager, laying out all the information as you have here. It is often easier to convey these things in writing than in speaking, especially when you are (justifiably) upset. 2) I would cc the District Manager on the letter. You should be able to get his/her name and office address from the company's website or from another store in the chain. 3) In the letter, after outlining the incident as above, I would tell them that if they are willing to accept this type of behavior on the part of their employees, I will endeavor to let everyone know not to shop at their stores. 4) If they do not follow up satifactorily to the letter, I would write a letter to the editor of the local newspaper about it all and call the local TV stations, especially any that have a problem solving type reporter. I think you would get results from a letter that also goes to the District Manager, though. (Did I mention that such things really tick me off and it's generally not a good idea to tick me off too much?) Oh, and ((((((((((Donna))))))))) SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare also, cc the company's Corporate Division Manager for your division (usually in charge of several states for a region of stores), as well as corporate heads. you ARE a "normal mommy", donnak. let me say that one more time, to make sure you hear it---you ARE a normal mommy! it is important for you and your daughter that you get that, donnak. don't let your disability confuse you about that fact and don't let other's use your disability to confuse you or your child about that. your daughter is correct; and typical of young children, they often know and see the truth more clearly than adults do. what you experienced in that store was nothing short of the one of the most base tendancies of human beings, the tendancy to dehumanize others based upon differences and preferences. report it all, all of the specific details, to corporate heads and keep a copy of your letter for yourself. make sure they are aware of how that clerk's behavior affected your daughter, too. that's important, because the behavior of that clerk did not just do an insulting surface job on you. it went to deeper levels, to the levels of relationship between you and your daughter. make sure the company knows that. this kind of situation/behavior must not be ignored nor allowed to continue. it was much more than simply horrible service. the clerk went out of her way to make you uncomfortable and to be rude and hurtful. if you hear nothing satisfactory back from the company, then by all means, go to the local television stations with your story. in the meantime, reassure your daughter that you are the same mommy she knows and loves and that you are a normal mommy. let your daughter know that you are definitely not powerless to do something about it. that's important. when you do that, you will be teaching her and giving her permission to be empowered to deal with such things in her own life, as she matures. this is a huge opportunity for your daughter to learn about being an empowered human being. regardless of how young she is, she'll get it and get the message you give her. go for it and don't stop short of what you want for yourself and your daughter out of this. kate > What would I do? > [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > > Oh, and ((((((((((Donna))))))))) (((((((((((((((((((((((((((Donna))))))))))))))))))) I am so glad you came here to vent. Life can be so tough sometimes and we need the support of others who understand. You came to the right place. :) I'm not sure where you would go next unless you wrote and called someone at the base company. If you think it would make you feel better to follow up then by all means do it. I'm sorry you had such a sucky day, maybe today will be better. Or at least something else will take its place in the scheme of things. LOL debbie m. http://www.angelfire.com/ga2/angels1/ > Hi All, > [quoted text clipped - 38 lines] > > Donna K. (((((((Donna)))))) All the suggestions the others mentioned are great. I have complained higher up...and they do listen. Your money was just as welcome as anyone else's in that store...so you should have be treated the same! Janet R : Hi All, : [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] : : Donna K. ((((Donna)))) I work in retail and I know that what happened to you would never be condoned at my store. The cashier would likely not be fired for it, but would at least be reprimanded and 'written up'. Especially if there were no one else willing to come forward as a witness to the incident. The biggest difference would be that the store manager would have taken you very seriously and not made you feel like the perpetrator. The first thing to do now is get it all down on paper and contact the main office of the company, sending copies to the district manager, the COO and the CEO. They'll be the most likely to help with this. If this company is anything like mine, the store manager himself will get a write up (or fired) for not following through properly on this complaint. I'm so sorry this happened to you and I hope it never happens again. Kelly C. You write a letter or an email to the headquarters of the chain. Include that you have essentially been called a liar by the manager as well as treated rudely by the cashier. You wait 24 hours and read it over to make sure the tone is likely to get the results you want an that you didn't forget anything. Then you send it. Make sure to include what specifically you want them to do about the situation. And remember you are not just doing this for yourself but for those who will be treated the same way in the future. For what it is worth, I doubt you would have been treated any better if you had been standing on your own two feet. These chats with friends by cashiers have become all too common. Jo > Hi All, > [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > > Donna K. Donna K., I agree with those who said to write to the top. I have done it and it works! You were certainly mistreated, your daughter was very upset, and something should be done about it. Good luck. Gwen I agree with that. However, it may not always work at first. If not, then follow it up. I didn't, and regret it. Two years ago I had surgery on my foot. I went to the grocery store on crutches. When I was leaving, the automated door closed prematurely, trapping my bad foot underneath it. I grabbed for the railings, missed and fell, unable to get up. A cashier came out and released the door, and then asked if I was ok. I said no. She went back into the store and that was the last I saw of her. I emailed the head office, and they contacted the store manager to have the door repaired. Nothing was ever done, and I didn't follow up. That was very wrong of me, as that door was a menace to not only the disabled, but children and elderly people who don't move quickly enough to get out of the way. When I started using that store again, I heard several clerks mention that darned door that was always acting up. Not sure what finally happened, but that door has been out of service now for a couple of months. Maybe someone with more backbone than me finally put the pressure on. Janet N. > Donna K., I agree with those who said to write to the top. I have done > it and it works! > You were certainly mistreated, your daughter was very upset, and > something should be done about it. Good luck. > Gwen I would have the national office of that chain involved so fast it would make the manager's head spin!! Get the name and address of the customer representative from the head office. If the manager won't give it to you, call one of the other branches and get it from them. Don't let this go unaddressed. You might also try a local TV station. They almost all now have a "7 on your side" or "working 4 you" type person who is nothing but a consumer advocate. Keep us informed and give your daughter a hug from me. DeeTee ________________________________ DeeTee and Bob Taggart http://www.marykay.com/dtaggart3 http://mysite.verizon.net/vze8fwov/ ________________________________ > Hi All, > [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > > Donna K. Donna K, you got many good answers. I would go along with them on writing the main office and letting them know how their employees act and treat people. SignatureLove and hugs to all Good thoughts coming your way too. Squirrely Jo > Hi All, > [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > > Donna K. |
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