A little late but thought you might enjpy.

Redneck Valentine Poem

Collards is green, my dog's name  is Blue
and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like  you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the  breeze.
Softer than Blue's and without all them  fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in  May.
You ain't got no scales but I luv you  anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the  pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the  can.

You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am  proud;
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

On  special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in  hog heaven, and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at  work, they all want to know,
what I did to deserve such a purdy,  young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore  man,
to patch up life's troubles and fix what you  can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin'  overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my  bed.

Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel  shirt,
you spark up my life more than a fresh load of  dirt.

When you hold me real tight like a padded  gunrack,
my life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I  lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl  sidin'.
despite all the years, yore age, it keeps  hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold  drank,
we go together like a skunk goes with  stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's  Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that  way.

Some men git roses on that special day
from the  cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy  fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"  they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these  jist won't do.
Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang  you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
more  useful than diamonds...IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!