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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Arthritis / February 2005For Harv
I'm saying this again. I'm tired of your hostile answers. I will continue posting my questions and experiences here. I've received several comments to my questions from you(the most recent one not even directed towards you since I was speaking to women) coming out hostile or sarcastic and frankly I am not interested in what you have to say. None of us on here are feeling well, and some of us are in really really bad situations as far as finance and medical insurance and we come here for support. In the future I will not read any post with your name on it. Second the motion > I'm saying this again. I'm tired of your hostile answers. I will > continue posting my questions and experiences here. I've received [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > come here for support. In the future I will not read any post with your > name on it. > Second the motion > <islands@volcanomail.com> wrote in message In the future I will not read any post with your >> name on it. It is the internet and you may do as you please. Life will not give a person a free ride and there is always a price to pay. If you paid any attention to the words, maybe it will be worth it. Harv William, Did you know you can block certain email addresses so they don't come up in any ng messages? I have done that with two people who post here. That way I don't stress out and I only deal with positive supportive people (who are thankfully the majority). Lisa > Second the motion > > I'm saying this again. I'm tired of your hostile answers. I will [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > come here for support. In the future I will not read any post with your > > name on it. Lisa, I can't thank you enough. His replys make drive nuts. Never a positive note Boomer Ah but you forget- 2 negatives make a positive ! Look on the bright side folks. Peter > Ah but you forget- > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Peter and the positive is that his asa family knows he's ok. kate Amen to that Kate. Duckie >>Ah but you forget- >> [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > kate  Signature_('> (_<_) _ _('< -quack (_<_) _ __('< *QUACK!* <_{__) _('< "|,,|_" (_<_) _('< "AFLAC!" (_<_) >and the positive is that his asa family knows he's ok. Yep as you get to know him you realize much of what you might read as hostility is his passion for the subject. Just don't discuss politics LOLOL! right Harv! -- MZ Visit my website: http://www.mzuschlag.com >>and the positive is that his asa family knows he's ok. > > Yep as you get to know him you realize much of what you might read as > hostility is his passion for the subject. Just don't discuss politics > LOLOL! right Harv! -- MZ ohhhh boy . . . politics . . . hush now, mz! bite your tongue! ROTFLMBDO! have i been in deep . . .er . . . soup, up to my neck, on that topic with you, harv, or what?<cracking up--LOL> kate > Visit my website: > http://www.mzuschlag.com I have no doubt that Harv is a good person, but he often comes off in his responses as cranky, sometimes nasty, and has been known to offer an incorrect opinion as fact. Oldtimers on this group forgive him his indiscretions; it ain't so easy for newcomers at times. A lot of people would not tolerate this behavior in their daily lives. >>>and the positive is that his asa family knows he's ok. >> [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] >> Visit my website: >> http://www.mzuschlag.com >I have no doubt that Harv is a good person, but he often comes off in his >responses as cranky, sometimes nasty, and has been known to offer an >incorrect opinion as fact. Oldtimers on this group forgive him his >indiscretions; it ain't so easy for newcomers at times. A lot of people >would not tolerate this behavior in their daily lives. just who00ooo are you calling an "oldtimer", charlie?!LOL watchit, bub, there are a lot of "ladies" present.<giggling and wondering who's gonna hand this ol'broad a margarita> hmmm . . . i guess it doesn't take long to become an "oldtimer" here. it does take a little time and some effort for newbies or anybody, for that matter, to understand and get the hang of the complexities of interacting with people from all walks of life, different personal and political philosophies, cultures and religions and who come here to asa from all over the world. even respect means different things to different people. it takes willingness to see more than what is apparent and beneath the surface of any given situation. sometimes we have patience enough to do that and sometimes we don't. it's all part of being human, i suppose. seriously, though, most offerings of support contain opinions and/or judgments in them, whether they "appear" to be supportive or not. but, when you come right down to it, it's really up to the individual to accept the responsibility for ascertaining for themselves what is opinion and what is fact. that's the way it is in the non-cyber world, too. nobody thinks you have to believe everything that is posted. (i'm often relieved just knowing i don't have to believe every thought i have that passes through my head!<smile>) heck, i might think i "know" something and post a lot of web links to support it, but that doesn't mean it is fact. there's a lot of misinformation on the web, too. i'm just doing the best i can to offer what i think i know or what i've found. none of us on asa think we know all there is to know about the 160+ forms of arthritis and how it affects us on so many levels in our lives. we have seen and experienced some of it though, enough to recognize those things. but, it's still up to the individual to decide for themselves what is fact or not. kate >>>>and the positive is that his asa family knows he's ok. >>> [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] >>> Visit my website: >>> http://www.mzuschlag.com >I have no doubt that Harv is a good person, but he often comes off in his >responses as cranky, sometimes nasty, and has been known to offer an >incorrect opinion as fact. Oldtimers on this group forgive him his >indiscretions; it ain't so easy for newcomers at times. A lot of people >would not tolerate this behavior in their daily lives. Thank you for your honest opinion and I take it in the spirit it was given and reserve the right to do the same as I see fit. Harv >>>and the positive is that his asa family knows he's ok. >> [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > kate :-) Thank you for the support,,,, I think? You know that I hate politics in this newsgroup. I am a person that tries stay in the real world and believes in facing what it brings. I never said anything about politics that was not true,,,, gonna take place like it or not but who would of thought that Ohio would tip the scale,,,, whatever.... We can laugh about it all now because we can change nothing. I would let you beat on me again until you were tired and sleepy for tomorrow. in my prayers Harv >>>>and the positive is that his asa family knows he's ok. >>> [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > in my prayers > Harv hell, harv, if i did i wouldn't be tired and sleepy for tomorrow. but, i would be late for my appointment (from trying to get the last word in).<veg> oh, how i don't give up easily. thank you for your prayers, guy. kate > Lisa, > > I can't thank you enough. His replys make drive nuts. > Never a positive note > > Boomer Really? I have found Harv to be very supportive, helpful, knowledgeable, and yes even positive. Even on the rare occasion that we do not agree. Smokie Darling (Annie) Harv is just very realistic and states things like they are. He's been through the mill and knows a lot about this thing we call arthritis. And he is supportive. Gwen > > Lisa, > > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Smokie Darling (Annie) The internet does not allow us to hear voice inflections or see smiles, etc. so that sometimes we read into something that really isn't there. I can write a sentence that three people will interpret in three different ways. Something to think about before attacking folks. Ann Other than the occasional outright troll that visits our group...I have come away with something positive from each of you. I am not the oldest fart on this group, but in my 37 years I have found that each human has something to offer to another. If someone seems grumpy or 'out of sorts' -- maybe something is wrong. Harv has had a bad time this winter. If he sounds abrupt...there is a reason. I live in Houston too..and the weather has changed on a daily basis. This group know that Arthur doesn't like that much! Those of us in the ASA family also deal with sick family and loved ones. We have to care for others and sometimes neglect ourselves...and we pay the price. I think the world of Harv. He knows that I feel that way about him. He is welcome at my home anytime. I have found wisdom in his replies. By all means, block whomever makes you uncomfortable. But all I ask is to look just a little deeper before assuming something is offensive. There may be other factors playing in the background. Janet R Sorry Janet but on this I ain't backing down. Re-read my post and his response. I laid myself bare telling my deepest fears and sadnesses and had a question to the women on the group and got a nasty attack in response from the one person I wasn't speaking to. I was about as low as I've ever been. His nastiness is inexcusable and yes he's blocked and will continue to be. Frankly, I don't care at this point what his reasons are, we are all in pain and suffering on this group and some of us are completely alone without any financial or other resources. I don't allow ugly negative cr**p from people in my "real" life and in my 12 years online have not allowed it either. I'm struggling each day to get up and make it through each hour and people who treat me badly have no place. Again, re-read the thread if you don't understand. And by the way I got about 7 emails from people telling me that they feel the same way about his attitude (though they mostly said he wasn't an evil person just rude and cranky at times) but apparently others feel as I do just don't want to confront him. I'm tired and scared and hurting and only want to hear from kind supportive folks which luckily were the majority. > Sorry Janet but on this I ain't backing down. Re-read my post and his > response. I laid myself bare telling my deepest fears and sadnesses and [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > and only want to hear from kind supportive folks which luckily were the > majority. it is perfectly ok that you *plonk* (killfile) anybody you want to, if that's what you need to do to feel comfortable. just so you know---and i'm not criticizing you, in any way, lisa, nor am i speaking of harv, specifically---there are a few of us in our asa family who get a little cranky, once in awhile, dealing with so much in our lives, sometimes overwhelmingly. because of that, and other factors, we might even misunderstand or misinterpret what's been said/posted and might react negatively to what we've misunderstood or misinterpreted. most of the rest of us have learned, that when that happens, it doesn't necessarily represent the whole of that person or what that person really is or really is about. like a lot of families, we also tend to have our brain fart moments (i'm prize-winning-good at having those<smile>); and sometimes, a few of us can be like little terriers with a mouthful of pants cuff; and some of us, also tend to have a lot of brain fog moments, too, because some of our 160+ diseases directly cause that to happen. kate Yes,,,,, get it all out. Blame me for whatever if it makes you feel better. Its not about backing down. Sweet words and oh mys will not make you feel better and it does not get to the bottom of depression which drips from your words. The sad part of it is that most of us have been where you are. You are in the right newsgroup and not everyone just pats you on the head or back with a yes, yes. By getting upset at me, you have already aired a great deal that you needed to talk about to someone about. Yes, I know I am blocked but maybe she will read it in one of your replies. Harv > Sorry Janet but on this I ain't backing down. Re-read my post and his > response. I laid myself bare telling my deepest fears and sadnesses and [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > and only want to hear from kind supportive folks which luckily were the > majority. What a reminder, Harv! Jumped on my 17 year old this morning. His reply was "Gee Mom, I think you might be more depressed than you realize." Sometimes we don't realize we are depressed and take it out on others. At least my immediate family is learning how to handle me so I have to back up and think about it. Too easy these days to get lost in the pain and frustration these days. Thanks all for such a great place to come and talk. Even just lurking most the time makes things more bearable. At least we are not alone! Sheri > Yes,,,,, get it all out. Blame me for whatever if it makes you feel > better. Its not about backing down. Sweet words and oh mys will not [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] >> and only want to hear from kind supportive folks which luckily were the >> majority. > Those of us in the ASA family also deal with sick family and loved ones. We > have to care for others and sometimes neglect ourselves...and we pay the > price. There is also the ever present problem of internet comunications befuddling people's intent. Think about how often we misunderstand what the people we know and love best are saying to us in face to face communications. Heck, I'm lucky enough to be in one of the best marriages around and we misunderstand each other several times each week. How much more likely are misunderstandings likely to happen when we never see the person face to face and we only know what they have chosen to reveal and we have chosen to absorb in the time we have mutually spent on the group. If it is best for your well being to kill filter Harv, then you should do so. At the same time, it is best to remember that we do not always understand each other's intent in cyber communications. Many times you can achieve more positive results by just asking "Huh? I'm not sure I know what you meant. I was asking an honest question." and I find it well to remember that how I'm feeling at a given time affects my responses every bit as much as others' responses are affected by how they are feeling. And, yes, Harv has been having an unusually difficult time this winter. And he is particularly sensitive on the subject of DMARDs because he has recently been forced to give his up (hopefully temporarily) due to a positive TB test and he is suffering for not having those meds. My personal opinion is that this is really a case of miscommunication, not of either side intending to be vicious. > I think the world of Harv. He knows that I feel that way about him. He is > welcome at my home anytime. I have found wisdom in his replies. I agree totally - and Harv & I see things differently on many social and political issues and I still think the world of him. SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare |
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