 |
 | Home | Contact Us | FAQ | Search & Site Map | Link to Us |
 | Sign In | Join | Other 45 Sites in Network |
Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Arthritis / January 2005OTP:Cop Humor
Cop Humor Who says cops don't have a sense of humor? The following were taken off of actual police car videos around the country... "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile." "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun." "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?" "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey crap." "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." "Just how big were those two beers?" "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail." and the best one . . . . . "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here." > Cop Humor > Who says cops don't have a sense of humor? [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now > we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." ca. 1970 while I was still with the P.D. Driver (after 10 minutes of swearing and harping about quotas): "Will I make your quota for today?" Me: "Oh, no sir. I got that 2 hours ago. You're just for fun." Thank goodness we didn't have cameras/recorders in those days. <g> On a more serious note...here's the note my mother sent to her local newspaper yesterday.... "I feel compelled to write this letter after witnessing the aftermath of a horrific car crash by my home on Hwy 99 yesterday Jan. 26th. In the crash a young man lost his life. Numerous public servants were immediately on the scene: Firemen, State Troopers, EMT's and Tow Truck Drivers. With the dozens of people at the scene securing it, doing what they do, they struck me with the somber respect for, and the dignity with which they took care to honor the privacy of the young man. Quiet conversations, pale sad faces, and overwhelming sense of loss was registered on all of their faces. I for one will not be so quick to judge the demeanor of a police officer. If I get pulled over for a minor traffic infraction, and don't think he or she is as polite as I would like, I'll keep in mind that I won't know what they may have witnessed and hour before. All of you that were here the 26th are my heroes! You were awesome! Donna Doe" She was so impressed in part because of the fact that the man in question appeared to have been in possession of drug paraphernalia and there were some other things about the scene that would have led to some ribald humor on the part of many people, but these folks never took the low road to make their jobs easier and did show respect for the life of the victim. To my knowledge, my mother has never written a letter to the editor in her life. She must have been truly impressed. Kelly C.;o) > On a more serious note...here's the note my mother sent to her local > newspaper yesterday.... [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] > > Kelly C.;o) Something to remember for any of you who sometimes forget to wear your seatbelt. When you greet the officer who pulls you over, remember the accident scenes he/she has had to help clean up and the things they have witnessed. Say thank you, put your seat belt on and pay the fine. Jo |
Reply to this Message |
 Sign In
 Join
 My Latest Posts My Monitored Threads My Blog My Photo Gallery My Profile My Homepage Start New Thread Enable EMail Alerts Rate this Thread
|
©2009 Advenet LLC Privacy Policy - Terms of Use
This website includes both content owned or controlled by Advenet as well as content owned or controlled by third parties.