You Might Be In Education If...

* You can converse in middle schoolease.

* Your last nerve is a distant memory...

* Every day is a bad hair day.

* You find humor in public parental discipline.

* You worry about getting sued for self-esteem violations.

* You believe the staff room should be equipped with Valium salt licks.

* You stand on your front porch instructing the neighbor children to "Walk!"

* Junior Highers make you feel old but you could not be paid to be that age
again...

* You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to only
  work 8 - 3 and have your summers free."

* You refer to adults as "boys and girls".

* You encourage your husband by telling him he is a "good helper".

* You believe chocolate is a major food group.

* You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

* You believe "extremely annoying" should have its own box on the report
card.

* You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says,
  "Boy, the kids are sure mellow today."

* When you are out in public you snap your fingers at children who are
  misbehaving.

* You give your husband "the look" when he "misbehaves."

* You have no life from August through June.

* Putting all A's on the report card would be so much easier.

* You think people should be required to get a government permit
  before being allowed to reproduce, earned by having worked in a
  middle school for 5 years.

* You've encouraged a parent to check into home schooling.

* You can't have children of your own because there isn't a name
  you can hear that wouldn't elevate your blood pressure.

* You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.

* You think that caffeine should be available in I V form.

* Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is
  this kid like that?"

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