I had my fingers operated on twice. 1st time synovitis and the second time all
plastic joints. They only lasted a little while. Now they are so crooked I am
ashamed to show them to anyone. Wish you the best with your operation. God
Bless audie
>I had my fingers operated on twice. 1st time synovitis and the second time
>all
> plastic joints. They only lasted a little while. Now they are so crooked
> I am
> ashamed to show them to anyone.
((((((((((((audie)))))))))))) it would seem so easy for me to say, "don't
be ashamed of your crooked fingers". i also know how hollow it sounds and
how hearing it being said can make one feel like there is yet another
something else wrong for feeling ashamed.
i was ashamed of a mangled leg for a very long time, especially in my
twenties. i'm not now--- but, i'm still a little reticent about exposing
it and causing emotional reactions in those too young to understand that a
physical disfigurement isn't emblematic of the whole person. it took a
long time for me to realize that i am not my leg, nor am i the sum total of
my entire body's parts and all their flaws. took awhile to recognize that
most people didn't think about my leg, as much as i did, and weren't
bothered by it, as much as i was. then, i learned to love this mangled leg,
because i still had this leg to love and to use, even though it didn't work
quite as well as it once did and wasn't as shapely as it once was. this leg
is still willing to serve me.
it really isn't about "getting over it and getting on with it" as some might
believe. it's about loving how well they once served you and still try to
serve you. it's about loving that part of yourself that loves them enough
and makes you take even greater care of them, than you would have had to if
they were perfect. it's about also loving that part of yourself that
accepts them enough to allow them to continue to serve your in whatever way
they can now, that part of you that helps them to do that.
so, i won't say, "don't be ashamed of your hands", but i will say, "love
them", audie, recognize that you do love them, because they are worthy of
your love. and if you do, feeling ashamed of them won't come as easily as
it once did.
kate