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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Arthritis / January 2005you know how it is when. . .
. . . you're with a group of friends and you feel pretty good these days and then one of them asks "how are you doing? you're really limping." i know it's just coz they care but i find it soooo deflating for some reason. diane >. . . you're with a group of friends and you feel pretty good these days and >then one of them asks "how are you doing? you're really limping." {{{{{{{{{{Diane}}}}}}}}}}}} Yup! I know how it is! Or....you know how it is when...... someone says "you've been overdoing it....you are limping worse than usual" no dumbass....I have RA....I don't have to "overdo it" to have a bad day........everything ain't my fault!!!! ~KJ (just had to join in on the bitch thread!) Akron, Ohio http://arthritisinsight.com Knowledge is power...support is essential. Tina's Togs Quality Plus Size and Vintage Fashions http://www.stores.ebay.com/tinastogs > >. . . you're with a group of friends and you feel pretty good these days > >and [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > no dumbass....I have RA....I don't have to "overdo it" to have a bad > day........everything ain't my fault!!!! It took lots of years for me to get over the guilt or blaming myself for when something hurts worse or loss of function is obvious to others and the last person being me. Harv > ~KJ (just had to join in on the bitch thread!) > Akron, Ohio > http://arthritisinsight.com > Knowledge is power...support is essential. > Tina's Togs Quality Plus Size and Vintage Fashions > http://www.stores.ebay.com/tinastogs >Or....you know how it is when...... > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > >~KJ (just had to join in on the bitch thread!)< Geez KJ, you sound like me, so I'll second the bitch thread. I get so freakin' tired of people saying, [with emphasis - like this is your fault you know} "well what did you do this time?" Makes me want to scream. And when Mike says "you've been doing too much" - well hell yes I've been doing too much. It's Christmas, you are at work all day, who else is gonna do it? AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!! Ok rant over, I feel much better now thanks. :-) Anne AAC/AAF/AFBV62.0844.AZ http://www.tckworld.com/opfoot >. . . you're with a group of friends and you feel pretty good these days >and [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > diane Speaking from my past and shaking hands at the church door with the pastor,,,, with swollen RA hands,,,,, Some people knowing that still but a squeeze on my hand that would make normal people go ouch. I am forced to say you have to know the person to qualify that,,,"they care". I also have to say "to be honest" that it may have to take awhile to get even for that,,,,, but satisfying... Ya know,,, its a guy thing. :-) Harv > . . . you're with a group of friends and you feel pretty good these days and > then one of them asks "how are you doing? you're really limping." > > i know it's just coz they care but i find it soooo deflating for some reason. > > diane A while back, in my last job, I used to get pretty fed up of feeling crap for days or even weeks at a time, and when some kindly sole asked "How are you?" with that "and I'm not really interested" unspoken rider, I got into the habit of replying "Absolutely crap!" Then, after a few seconds, enough for them to realise that they had indeed asked a dumb question that had an obvious answer if they'd paid any attention, I'd let them off the hook with a cheery "But thanks for asking!" Nobody ever seemed sure if I was geniune or taking the piss, and so they stopped asking unless they actually wanted to know. The best line I ever heard was from a wheeler who, on being asked how she was doing, replied "I'm in a f***ing wheelchair! How do you f***ing well think I'm doing!" Hope this helps a bit. :) P.S. Then there's always the short "You mean you really think thats an intelligent question" stare, topped off with the ever eloquent response "Du-UH!" ;\  Signaturewww.deja-moo.co.uk/~mikesweb ---------------------------------------------- When the "official" line is an obvious construction, and a deluge of distractions and spurious accusations land on the first person to object to it, a nice juicy conspiracy theory is a good place to start. "What I want to know is..." (Edison Carter - 20mins into the future) "Aaaaaagh!" - Katherine Harris www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1027042harris1.html ---------------------------------------------- www.buzzflash.com > . . . you're with a group of friends and you feel pretty good these days and > then one of them asks "how are you doing? you're really limping." [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > diane (((((((((Diane))))))))) yup. with me it tends to be Mike asking if I'm feeling lousy and then he points out some gentle to the joints behavior I didn't realize I was doing.............. SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare > . . . you're with a group of friends and you feel pretty good these days and > then one of them asks "how are you doing? you're really limping." > > i know it's just coz they care but i find it soooo deflating for some reason. > > diane Or when, in my case, platelets are so low that you could spontaneously start bleeding at any moment, or neutrohpils are so far down that bone marrow transplant patients have better counts before being killed by an opportunistic infection...and they say "well you look well" *ARGH* This conveys two things to me, neither of which are intended, but still sh.t me off to no end: 1. Great, I'll make a good looking corpse 2. If you look okay, then you're not really sick *grumble* Ari Signaturespammage trappage: replace fishies_ with yahoo I'm going to die rather sooner than I'd like. I tried to protect my neighbours from crime, and became the victim of it. To jump to the end of the story, as a result of this I need a bone marrow transplant. Many people around the world are waiting for a marrow transplant, too. Please volunteer to be a marrow donor: http://www.abmdr.org.au/ http://www.marrow.org/ ARRGGGGHHH....yes! What's up with that?! If it a good and I dont need my cane...my friends think Im going to break into a tap dance. But...I have one friend with RA...and she always pulls me aside and ask, "Now, how do you REALLY feel?" I think they just want to see us 'get better' and they only have appearance to go by...no labwork or Rx list. If you are healthy...maybe its not easy to relate to those of us struggling with health issues? I give them a break because I know at ANY time I can pick up the phone and they would be here lickety-split. Janet R "spodosaurus" <spodosaurus@_yahoo_.com> wrote in message | 2. If you look okay, then you're not really sick | | *grumble* | | Ari I can relate, Diane. I was recently venting to a friend (one who, thankfully, knows what to say and when to say it) that the thing I dread worse than anything about having another surgery is all the people asking me what I did to my arm. When I have some contraption on, like a cast or splint, everywhere I go, people ask all these questions. I feel like wearing a sign around my neck that says "Don't ask!". It's one thing when someone asks and then leaves it at that or even if they had something kind to say, but usually people will follow the question with a comment like "You're too young to have all this stuff wrong with you." Ok....I need to vent about something else....a friend who was ticked off at me because I chose not to drive 100 miles to her party last summer, which was 2 weeks after my right knee arthroscopy. She told me that she thought I was thinking about the arthritis too much....and suggested that it may do me some good to take a break from "the arthritis group". I refuse to even tell her I'm having another surgery. I can't imagine what she will say if I do tell her. If anyone has a good comeback or two, please let me know. I'll gladly use them. Carol > . . . you're with a group of friends and you feel pretty good these days and > then one of them asks "how are you doing? you're really limping." > > i know it's just coz they care but i find it soooo deflating for some reason. > > diane > She told >me that she thought I was thinking about the arthritis too much....and >suggested that it may do me some good to take a break from "the >arthritis group" ACCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!! diane Well, I did have a comeback. It shut her up but I'm not sure it changed her mind. I told her that people who have never had to deal with anything that's chronic and makes your whole body hurt don't have any idea how much support is needed. I then told her that my arthritis group has literally saved my life and sanity. That was in July and I haven't talk to her since. Oh well. I just thought a sarcastic comeback for rude comments is better than a lecture. GRRRRRR! I'm still seathing over what she said!! Carol > > She told > >me that she thought I was thinking about the arthritis too much....and [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > diane > Well, I did have a comeback. It shut her up but I'm not sure it > changed her mind. I told her that people who have never had to deal [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > GRRRRRR! I'm still seathing over what she said!! > Carol good for you, carol, for letting her know how unaware you know she is. sometimes, some people do have to "be helped" to shut-up, which is the first step to thinking about whatever it is that we prattle on about, without having thought about it, understood it and felt it. more often, wisdom can be found in the pensive hush, than in her kind of impulsive utterances. you actually gave her a gift, carol----of "an opportunity" for her own pensive hush to begin. please know that whatever she does with that opportunity is hers, to own, not yours, carol. kate >> > She told >> >me that she thought I was thinking about the arthritis too [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >> >> diane >Well, I did have a comeback. It shut her up but I'm not sure it >changed her mind. Another comeback could have been "I have to go to the arthritis group for support since I don't get any from you". Doesn't sound like she was that good of a friend. Sarah L "Friends are those people who know the words to the song in your heart and sing them back to you when you have forgotten the words." (unattributed) >I can relate, Diane. I was recently venting to a friend (one who, > thankfully, knows what to say and when to say it) that the thing I [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > use them. > Carol GRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrr . . . ((((((((((((((((((carol))))))))))))))))) here's a few ideas: 1. my surgeon and i are having an affair, but the only time we get to see each other is in the operating room. it's a scheduling conflict thang. we're actually going to be putting some zippers on my body this time, so he can spend more time just chatting with me. 2. i just love the piped in music in the O.R. and those scrub uniforms are soooo intoxicating to me! why else would i be having an operation?! 3. hey! where else can i get a great room, catered meals, maid service, attention at the press of a button, and be waited on hand and foot? just call me, "your majesty." 4. it must be wonderful to have your genetics and your good health. wanna trade? 5. maybe i have arthritis on my mind, but at least i don't have air in my head like you do. 6. hmmm . . . do you think taking a break from my arthritis group will cure my arthritis, too? and here i've been taking all these meds, seeing all these doctors and having all these surgeries for nothing! 7. gee, you're full of compassion and understanding, aren't you? 8. i feeling rather spry. tell you what---let's have a race to the door. first one to open it and step foot outside wins, ok? ready? set? GO! you win. bye-bye. kate (i'm sure others will have much better suggestions) >> . . . you're with a group of friends and you feel pretty good these > days and [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >> >> diane >5. maybe i have arthritis on my mind, but at least i don't have air in my >head like you do. This is my favorite: Lol Rose @}>->-- Being educated means that rather than fearing the unknown, one seeks to understand it. RB Please remove "Ima" to reply. > 1. my surgeon and i are having an affair, but the only time we get to see > each other is in the operating room. it's a scheduling conflict thang. > we're actually going to be putting some zippers on my body this time, so he > can spend more time just chatting with me. LOL Reminds me of working in the hospital, periodically wearing one or two wrist braces. Naturally all the docs-in-training would start asking questions. If I wasn't inclined to get into the details at the time, I'd just tell them it was to protect my wrists when I had to keep the interns in line! SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare >LOL Reminds me of working in the hospital, periodically wearing one or two >wrist braces. Naturally all the docs-in-training would start asking >questions. If I wasn't inclined to get into the details at the time, I'd >just tell them it was to protect my wrists when I had to keep the interns in >line! Now that one I like, Nann! :-) --- Joan ROFL - kate those are sooooo funny. Did you make them up? debbie m. http://www.angelfire.com/ga2/angels1/ > >I can relate, Diane. I was recently venting to a friend (one who, > > thankfully, knows what to say and when to say it) that the thing I [quoted text clipped - 64 lines] > Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). > Version: 6.0.816 / Virus Database: 554 - Release Date: 12/14/2004 >> If anyone has a good comeback or two, please let me know. I'll gladly >> use them. [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > > kate Those were pretty good and should give anyone what they could use. :-) Harv Those are great. I'm saving them for the next zillion people who ask why I'm (still) limping (again) I can see #4 and #7 getting used! Actually, I had to laugh the other day. I was limping along and someone asked if my joints were bothering me when actually I had just stubbed my toe really hard. It was very thoughtful to be asked if I was okay but apparently the only reason I get to limp is myOA! Hey, if I can't find the humour the day just gets longer. :-p Skip > >I can relate, Diane. I was recently venting to a friend (one who, > > thankfully, knows what to say and when to say it) that the thing I [quoted text clipped - 64 lines] > Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). > Version: 6.0.816 / Virus Database: 554 - Release Date: 12/14/2004 I think #4 would get the point across quite well! All were terrific. Gwen > >I can relate, Diane. I was recently venting to a friend (one who, > > thankfully, knows what to say and when to say it) that the thing I [quoted text clipped - 64 lines] > Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). > Version: 6.0.816 / Virus Database: 554 - Release Date: 12/14/2004 Kate!!! Those are all great!!! I think I shall use each one of them. Maybe I'll just keep them in my purse and take them out when needed. I'll say, "Excuse me. I need a moment to find the right response to your stupid comment. Not all of us are so quick with dumb a.s remarks!" Thank you, Kate!! Carol > Kate!!! Those are all great!!! I think I shall use each one of them. > Maybe I'll just keep them in my purse and take them out when needed. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > Thank you, Kate!! > Carol you actually do pretty well with your own comebacks, carol.<smile> kate For the general "what did you do?' questions, I usually now just say, "I have a lot of problems with my joints." If they really want more details, I can tell them, but that usually covers the fact that it's something chronic, not a recent injury. That's about all most people you know casually want anyway. As for the friend who had the party, tell her to get a life - it's not all about her! No, no, you can't do that, but I'd be tempted. She is obviously someone who truly doesn't get it. We may need ot call out the Posse on her SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare > I can relate, Diane. I was recently venting to a friend (one who, > thankfully, knows what to say and when to say it) that the thing I [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > use them. > Carol > For the general "what did you do?' questions, I usually now just > say, "I have a lot of problems with my joints." If they really want > more details, I can tell them, but that usually covers the fact that > it's something chronic, not a recent injury. That's about all most > people you know casually want anyway. Once "ankylosing spondylitis" rolls off my tongue, people STOP! I have found it's much better than just saying "arthritis." They don't want to admit their lack of manners and knowledge (or stupidity for asking in the first place). And I'm waiting for the first one to ask if it's contagious. I have an answer for that. <g> > And I'm waiting for the first one to ask if it's contagious. I have > an answer for that. <g> What is it, Joe? Don't keep us waiting! Inquiring minds want to know - esp. 'cause we know it'll be a good one, coming from you! SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare > What is it, Joe? Don't keep us waiting! Inquiring minds want to know - > esp. > 'cause we know it'll be a good one, coming from you! > Nann Yes but I was not going to tell because its too late now that you have been exposed. SomBodyElse >> What is it, Joe? Don't keep us waiting! Inquiring minds want to know - >> esp. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > exposed. > SomBodyElse LOL! SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare I have been asked that (talking about Lupus)..."is it contagious?'....then I sneeze and cough...and say "only if I sneeze and cough on you!" What morons! Janet R |> And I'm waiting for the first one to ask if it's contagious. I have | > an answer for that. <g> | | What is it, Joe? Don't keep us waiting! Inquiring minds want to know - esp. | 'cause we know it'll be a good one, coming from you! > Once "ankylosing spondylitis" rolls off my tongue, people STOP! > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > And I'm waiting for the first one to ask if it's contagious. I have > an answer for that. <g> I want to know the answer, pulleeease. <whine> I imagine it is priceless. --- Joan Joe wrote: >> And I'm waiting for the first one to ask if it's contagious. I have >> an answer for that. <g> And Joan and someone else asked: > I want to know the answer, pulleeease. <whine> I imagine it is priceless. I have the HLA-B27 genetic marker, which was passed down in the family. So I would answer, "YES!", not letting on that it was from a parent. Kinda like saying laughter and yawning is contagious. <g> Sex is genetic, too. If your parents didn't have it, chances are you won't either. > I have the HLA-B27 genetic marker, which was passed down in > the family. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > Sex is genetic, too. If your parents didn't have it, chances are you won't >either. Yup, just as I thought, you're bad. ROFL --- Joan > Sex is genetic, too. If your parents didn't have it, chances are you > won't > either. ROFL. That's a good one. -Ashley PS: Am I still the baby of the group? Or do we have another young one that joined us? Well, Nann, if you knew how spoiled she is, you'd gag!! She and her husband are in their mid 40's, neither one works because his family is wealthy and they don't need to work. Now I don't begrudge anyone a good easy life, but when those people are so stinking pampered that they have lost touch with reality.....well, that about takes the cake. They adopted a darling little girl from China 2 years ago. And if you wanna know how they're raising her....well, watch the episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Ray and Debra are deciding who to leave their kids with if something happens to them. Their friends who come over for dinner are exactly like these friends of mine. I swear, everything that little girl does has to be evaluated and dealt with by reading Dr. So and So's book on child psychology. They have not been anywhere past 7:30 PM since they adopted her because that's the time they get her ready for bed. That party was starting at 4:30 because her naptime is from 1:30 to 2:30 and that gives them enough time to get her ready in order for people to come over. UGH!!! I'd love to tell her that life is too darn short to spend your whole day analyzing every stinking detail of everything!! I thought a cute little kid would loosen them up, but instead it's made them even more anal retentive!! Carol > For the general "what did you do?' questions, I usually now just say, "I have > a lot of problems with my joints." If they really want more details, I can [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > > use them. > > Carol > I'd love to tell her that life is too darn short to spend your whole > day analyzing every stinking detail of everything!! I thought a cute > little kid would loosen them up, but instead it's made them even more > anal retentive!! > Carol Yes, but one day she will be a teenager. Not to mention some really interesting ages getting there. There is hope yet. Jo This was from a "friend" you say? DeeTee ________________________________ DeeTee and Bob Taggart http://www.marykay.com/dtaggart3 http://mysite.verizon.net/vze8fwov/ ________________________________ >I can relate, Diane. I was recently venting to a friend (one who, > thankfully, knows what to say and when to say it) that the thing I [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] >> >> diane |
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