How Cold Is It?

+60 Californians put on sweaters.

+50 Miami residents turn on the heat.

+45 Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.

+40 You can see your breath.
     Californians shiver uncontrollably.
     Minnesotans go swimming.

+35 Italian cars don`t start.

+32 Water freezes.

+30 You plan your vacation in Australia.

+25 Ohio water freezes.
     Californians weep pitiably.
     Minnesotans eat ice cream.
     Canadians go swimming.

+20 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless.
     New York City water freezes.
     Miami residents plan vacation further south.

+15 French cars don`t start.
     Cat insists on sleeping with you.

+10 You need jumper cables to get the car going.

+5 American cars don`t start.

0 Alaskans put on T-shirts.

-10 German cars don`t start.
     Eyes freeze shut when you blink.

-15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.
     Arkansans stick tongues on metal objects.
     Miami residents cease to exist.

-20 Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you.
     Politicians actually do something about the homeless.
     Minnesotans shovel snow off roof.
     Japanese cars don`t start.

-25 Too cold to think.
     You need jumper cables to get the driver going.

-30 You plan a two week hot bath.
     Swedish cars don`t start.

-40 Californians disappear.
     Minnesotans button top button.
     Canadians put on sweater.
     Your cat helps you plan your trip south.

-50 Congressional hot air freezes.
     Alaskans close the bathroom window.

-80 Hell freezes over.
     Polar bears move south.
     Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game.

-90 Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.

-100 Canadian buildings turn off air conditioning.