Kelly, my kids never went on the name brand bandwagon.  It was surprising
because they had two first cousins that always wore name brands.
Not surprisingly, their kids don't wear many name brands either.
Gwen

alex was rarely into labels or the fads either.

when alex was either in kindergarten or first grade, he wanted, REALLY
wanted, a color tv, all his own, in his room.  we knew we could just buy it
for him, but decided to make it a teaching opportunity and said ok, but he
would have to pay for half of it.   it was something like $125.  that
puzzled him, because he obviously didn't have that kind of money.  he did
have a small savings account at an S&L for the 10% of his allowance each
week, we helped him set up when we first began giving him an allowance.
but, we told him he couldn't use his savings for that particular "i want"
this time.

so, we told him we'd set him up with a "credit account", just like butch and
i had to sometimes pay for things.  told him what was involved and mapped
out how we would do it.  went shopping for the tv, purchased it.  then put
his payment schedule/balance-owed sheet up on the frig so that he could keep
track and see how he was doing in paying it off.

he could get paid for "odd" jobs and could put that money and/or his
allowance for his regular chores towards paying off the tv balance.  we let
him decide how he was going to make the payments.  the first week, it was
his allowance money he applied to the balance (less his 10% savings and 10%
giving money, kept in a coffee can--which, at christmastime, went towards
buying toys for less fortunate children).  after that first week he realized
that left him with very little allowance money in his pocket.  so, he
decided to go with odd jobs.  we allowed him to make his decisions.

it was so cute and sweet to watch his mind work.  he'd notice everything and
anything "extra" that he could do around here to earn money.  and with us on
3 acres, with critters inside and outside, there were lots of things he
recognized he could do.  he'd enter into negotiations with us about "how
much for this job or that job" and he would apply all of his odd-job money
(less the savings and giving money) towards paying off the balance.

about a quarter of the way through paying off the balance, he decided it
wasn't getting paid off fast enough.  he became a veritable work-aholic to
get out of debt.LOL (at first, i worried about it, worried about him
possibly being stressed out and butch told me to just let alex have the
reins)

i don't think i'd ever seen alex so proud of himself before then, as on the
day the balance-owed for that tv was zero (waaay ahead of what we expected).
that was when alex told me he hated being in debt, hated seeing the
balance-owed sheet on the frig reminding him that he was and that he was
relieved it was paid off.  and the odd-job seeking/negotiations/work-aholic
came to an immediate end.LOL

kate

But it comes in waves, so you don't get only bad all the time. Becca is at a
phase where it's mixed. It's worst when she is PMS-ing (yeah, at 12), then
gets better. It's really only about 25% mouthy or moody and 75% reasonable.
But alot of theat 25% is clustered.

We have one small advantage re: our house rules; we are not the strictest of
her friends. Becca has one friend whose Mom must have an anxiety disorder
because this kid isn't allowed to do much of anything. Poor thing spends
most of her time on the computer emailing her friends. Even arranging for
her to come over usually means I have to drive her both ways because Mom is
too nervous to drive after dark, or in areas she doesn't know well. Another
friend gets gets a mix of way overboard leniency for somethings, but then is
grounded for long times for minor infractions.

After she's calm, we can always remind Rebecca that we are trying to be
reasonable and age appropriate. She may not get to do all the things some
other friends do, but she certainly gets to do more than those two friends.
It helps all of us to maintain perspective.

Adelle

ROFL  She will be.  She has good genes. And a good up bringing.

It doesnt help, that you have had to baby her more while you have gotten this
seizure disorder under control.

But she really WILL turn out ok.  I have great confidence in you and Brett.
Char

"Remember, I'm pulling for ya'. We're all in this together." Red Green

not to worry, kelly.  you won't need a refund.  i'm convinced that their
basic personalities are pretty much set before they enter school.   i
sometimes really think they are born with their personalities and that those
personalities are what is truly permanent.

i remember many a day believing (and even getting a little weepy) that i
sent my loving, generous, sensitive, clever, funny, playful and sweet child
to school, only to have somebody else's kid too often arrive here on the
school bus for 13 years.  alex is 27 now, and the basic personality of the
little boy i sent off to school is back or still evident.

however, my baby-fat-neck-nibbling, breathing-in his baby-essence and
belly-zerbert days had been over for awhile before he got on the school bus.
i used to really miss chasing alex around the house, him giggling, while
giving him a haircut---a snip in the kitchen, snip in the livingroom and so
on.  now, i have a cat, jeepies, who makes me brush him that way (no,
jeepies doesn't hide from the brush--it's a game).LOL

kate