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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Arthritis / July 2004OTP - thanks
I returned from the memorial service and I wanted to thank you for the encouragement. I spent the last 2 weekends helping plan the memorial and supporting Gay's family. Your support was awesome. I have always been reluctant to be a full participant when a death occurs. Ackward and uncertain I learned how therapeutic it can be to help the family organize a memorial etc..... focus on others pain. I learned if I reach out and support others it lessens my pain. It helped me reach some closure, obviously it will take more time. Before this experience I was worried I would be in the way..... another needy person seeking attention and support. I learned how empowering it can be to help organize and be an active participant...... focus on others. Powerful, empowering, empathy, strength courage, connections, love... are just a few of the words that come to mind. Vulnerability creates strength. Your responses helped me. I was moved to tears when Carol sent me the song I requested. Amazing the power of sympathetic, caring hearts..... thank you! -- MZ Visit my website: http://www.mzuschlag.com > I learned how empowering it can > be to help organize and be an active participant...... focus on > others. Powerful, empowering, empathy, strength courage, > connections, love... are just a few of the words that come to mind. > Vulnerability creates strength. It's very true. Someone in Florida who was very important to me died at a time when I couldn't get there for the funeral (this was when I lived in NC). I couldn't come to terms with it all until a few weeks later when I got a packet from my sister with all the stuff from the funeral and local newspaper articles, etc. Cried all afternoon and evening, but was finally ok after that. and I know that when we were planning my dad's service and the reception afterwards, it was such a nice time to also remember things about him and to talk about him. My brother and I got a lot out of choosing the photos for a display of Daddy we put together for the reception. And somehow the fact that we were all together helping each other with everything helped remind us that we still had a pretty great family. I'm glad it was such a healing experience for you  SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare Since I live so far away from the family in Florida, I still expect Mom to call. I only talked to her on the phone for the last several years (couldn't afford travel). So it's as though she's still down there waiting for my call. DeeTee ________________________________ DeeTee and Bob Taggart http://www.marykay.com/dtaggart3 http://mysite.verizon.net/vze8fwov/ ________________________________ > > I learned how empowering it can > > be to help organize and be an active participant...... focus on [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > > I'm glad it was such a healing experience for you > Since I live so far away from the family in Florida, I still expect Mom to > call. I only talked to her on the phone for the last several years > (couldn't afford travel). So it's as though she's still down there waiting > for my call. > > DeeTee ((((((((DeeTee)))))))))) a really sweet older couple from our church here died last week - a car accident on the 4th, though he lingered until the 5th. Both had been married previously and had been widowed. Her daughter from her first marriage, who had called her mom every morning, said this weekend that she has called her mom a couple of times, forgetting that she won't answer. Sometimes, I think our subconscious protects us and our hearts. SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare >Her daughter from her first >marriage, who had called her mom every morning, said this weekend that she >has called her mom a couple of times, forgetting that she won't answer. >Sometimes, I think our subconscious protects us and our hearts. My friend from S Oregon used to call Gay nearly every day. She cried when she realized she would not be able do it anymore. Funny how small things set me off. Small things that in retrospect were actually a huge part of the daily or weekly routine, and a labor of love. -- MZ Visit my website: http://www.mzuschlag.com When my Mom died, I found that planning her service kept me going. I guess I needed something to do, and at the end of her life, I guess I felt powerless as there was nothing I could for her but to be there. I was always the one in the family that everyone came to as 'Carole could always fix it'. Well, that was one time when I couldn't. I also was lucky to have a lot of support from people around me, and music definitely helped. It made me cry a lot, but that was good as I have a tendency to hold things in. And it taught me that I needed to say to hell with the British stiff upper lip and all that, and just have a few good cries. And that's what I did. There is a lot of power here, Mary, and as someone said to me just yesterday, we are all a family here and that's what makes this group so special :) {{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}}} HUGS for YOU, Carole :) > I returned from the memorial service and I wanted to thank you for the > encouragement. I spent the last 2 weekends helping plan the memorial [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > Visit my website: > http://www.mzuschlag.com Well said and well lived. A support group at its best. Harv > I returned from the memorial service and I wanted to thank you for the > encouragement. I spent the last 2 weekends helping plan the memorial [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > Visit my website: > http://www.mzuschlag.com Mary, I am glad to hear that you got so much out of this...It is so hard to loose someone that we love. After loosing my Dad last year, I found that all the people that come and help and guide us through this hard time, is what makes it bearable...So know that your helping is exactly what the family needed at the time...Planning the services is so hard, but also healing. It brings the family together...gives us closure. Praying that you can continue to heal and God will give you the peace and support you need. Hugs Cindy (((Mary))) donnah > I returned from the memorial service and I wanted to thank you for the > encouragement. I spent the last 2 weekends helping plan the memorial [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > Visit my website: > http://www.mzuschlag.com mary, your post really touched me. thank you for sharing this whole experience with us--for trusting us with your heartache and letting us witness all the experience has meant for you. hugs, diane I am so glad you got to support the family and I can hear in your words, how much good it did for you. Duckie > I returned from the memorial service and I wanted to thank you for the > encouragement. I spent the last 2 weekends helping plan the memorial [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > Visit my website: > http://www.mzuschlag.com Signature_('> (_<_) _ _('< -quack (_<_) _ __('< *QUACK!* <_{__) _('< "|,,|_" (_<_) _('< "AFLAC!" (_<_) {{{{{{Mary}}}}}} ------------- Hoping your hills are never too steep! Be well, Patty |
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