 |
 | Home | Contact Us | FAQ | Search & Site Map | Link to Us |
 | Sign In | Join | Other 45 Sites in Network |
Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Arthritis / July 2009OTP Humor
The wisdom of Larry the cable guy...... 1. A day without sunshine is night. 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.. 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 6.. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. 9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. 10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. 12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 13... OK, so what's the speed of dark? 14. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 15. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. 16. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 20. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice? Do We Die? 21 Why do psychics have to ask you your name? 22. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?' 23. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off. 24. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 25. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow. The wisdom of Larry the cable guy...... 1. A day without sunshine is night. 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.. 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 6.. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. 9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. 10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. 12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 13... OK, so what's the speed of dark? 14. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 15. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. 16. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 20. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice? Do We Die? 21 Why do psychics have to ask you your name? 22. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?' 23. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off. 24. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 25. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow. > 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers. and today they all ache................ (sure wish our roller-coaster weather would calm down some! Thus far we've had about 5 days of real NW Michigan summer!) > 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in > the trap. I always knew there was a good reason to procrastinate, but I ust hadn't gotten around to figuring it out! --- Nann remove the Gator cheer to email me Change everything. Love & forgive. That was my favorite, too. I love cheese.  SignatureNavy Take out the FISH to email me. > >> 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers. [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > remove the Gator cheer to email me > Change everything. Love & forgive. > That was my favorite, too. I love cheese. > >>> 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese >>> in >>> the trap. Let me tell you a little story about the first mouse and the cheese. My wife and I had been married about 6 months. This clean, neat, little house had mice. I came home from work one day and my wife's eyes were big as half dollar coins. This mouse trap did not do a very good job. A mouse had been dragging the trap around the house all day making squeeeeking noises. She had been going from room to room all day just to keep away from the mouse. Wellll, a bucket of water put a stop to all that but it took a couple of days for her to recover and I felt so bad about all that. I got after the landlord but that did not do any good at all. I did cut a deal with him though by covering a part of the cost of having washer and dryer connections put in and my wife stopped talking about moving,,,,TODAY... Boy oh boy that was over 50 years ago. Harv Same little house, huh? Neat. Your poor wife being chased by a mouse trap. It is a funny picture, though. How did you stop it with a bucket of water? SignatureNavy Take out the FISH to email me. > >> That was my favorite, too. I love cheese. [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > moving,,,,TODAY... Boy oh boy that was over 50 years ago. > Harv it sounds to me like he drowned the poor mouse. LOL I have a friend that puts a pole type thing thru a 5 gallon bucket and puts the pole thru the pepsi can, then puts peanut butter on the pepsi can. The mice want it go for it, the pepsi can turns they fall in the bucket and she has water in the bucket. Drowned mice. SignatureLove and hugs to all Love Squirrely Jo > Same little house, huh? Neat. Your poor wife being chased by a mouse > trap. It is a funny picture, though. How did you stop it with a bucket of [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] >> moving,,,,TODAY... Boy oh boy that was over 50 years ago. >> Harv > Same little house, huh? Neat. Your poor wife being chased by a mouse > trap. It is a funny picture, though. How did you stop it with a bucket of > water? Oh me,,,, I must be talking to Army. You pick up the trap with the mouse in it and drop the whole rig into a bucket of water...... No more mouse. The funny thing is that we did not have any more trouble with mice. With all the noise that went on that day,,,,, they all must of pulled out. LOLOL Harv Thanks for clarifying, Harvey, I wasn't sure if the bucket of water was for your wife or the mouse. :-) Joan >> Same little house, huh? Neat. Your poor wife being chased by a mouse >> trap. It is a funny picture, though. How did you stop it with a bucket of [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > >Harv > Thanks for clarifying, Harvey, I wasn't sure if the bucket of > water was for your wife or the mouse. :-) > > Joan LOLOLOL, I had only been married for 6 months but already,,,, knew not to throw a bucket of water on the wife. The truth of it is that she could of used it. She was so upset that it scared me. I have never got her that upset again,,, ever after that or let anyone else. Harv LOL, Harve....I can identify with your poor wife's reaction. I'm holding my feet up off the floor just reading about it! Gloria > Let me tell you a little story about the first mouse and the cheese. My > wife and I had been married about 6 months. This clean, neat, little [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > moving,,,,TODAY... Boy oh boy that was over 50 years ago. > Harv Thanks, Harve, loved that! Gloria > The wisdom of Larry the cable guy...... > [quoted text clipped - 99 lines] > 25. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of > jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow. |
Reply to this Message |
 Sign In
 Join
 My Latest Posts My Monitored Threads My Blog My Photo Gallery My Profile My Homepage Start New Thread Enable EMail Alerts Rate this Thread
|
©2010 Advenet LLC Privacy Policy - Terms of Use
This website includes both content owned or controlled by Advenet as well as content owned or controlled by third parties.