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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Arthritis / May 2008Otp,, kind of corny but some I had not heard for awhile and they made me smile
I thought y'all might enjoy this humor. SOUTHERN WOMEN Southern women appreciate their natural assets: Clean skin. A winning smile. That unforgettable Southern drawl. Southern women know their manners: "Yes, ma'am." "Yes, sir." "Why, no, Billy!" Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions : "Y'all come back!" "Well, bless your heart." "Drop by when you can." "How's your Momma?" Southern women know their summer weather report: Humidity Humidity Humidity Southern women know their vacation spots: The beach The rivuh The crick Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August: Colorful hi-heel sandals Strapless sun dresses Iced sweet tea with mint Southern women know everybody's first name: Honey Darlin' Shugah Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts: Fried Green Tomatoes Driving Miss Daisy Steel Magnolias Gone With The Wind Southern women know their religions: Baptist Methodist Church of Christ Football Southern women know their country breakfasts: Red-eye gravy Grits Eggs Country ham Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm: Chawl'stn S'vanah Foat Wuth N'awlins Addlanna Southern women know their elegant gentlemen : Men in uniform. Men in tuxedos Rhett Butler Southern girls know their prime real estate: The Mall The Country Club The Beauty Salon Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins: Having bad hair and nails Having bad manners Cooking bad food More Southern-ism's: Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them. _____ Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." _____ Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder." _____ Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly." _____ Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. _____ All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. _____ Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! _____ Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20. _____ Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. _____ No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. _____ A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. _____ Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line,". We talk to everybody! _____ Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage. _____ In the South, y'all not is singular, y'all is plural. _____ Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. _____ Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. _____ When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! _____ Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. ____ And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way. _____ To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart! _____ And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language! _____ And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could." Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah ! Now.. .... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been! If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could! May this day bring you joy! Oh Harvey, how I would like to have that country breakfast right now! Gwen I thought y'all might enjoy this humor. SOUTHERN WOMEN Southern women appreciate their natural assets: Clean skin. A winning smile. That unforgettable Southern drawl. Southern women know their manners: "Yes, ma'am." "Yes, sir." "Why, no, Billy!" Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions : "Y'all come back!" "Well, bless your heart." "Drop by when you can." "How's your Momma?" Southern women know their summer weather report: Humidity Humidity Humidity Southern women know their vacation spots: The beach The rivuh The crick Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August: Colorful hi-heel sandals Strapless sun dresses Iced sweet tea with mint Southern women know everybody's first name: Honey Darlin' Shugah Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts: Fried Green Tomatoes Driving Miss Daisy Steel Magnolias Gone With The Wind Southern women know their religions: Baptist Methodist Church of Christ Football Southern women know their country breakfasts: Red-eye gravy Grits Eggs Country ham Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm: Chawl'stn S'vanah Foat Wuth N'awlins Addlanna Southern women know their elegant gentlemen : Men in uniform. Men in tuxedos Rhett Butler Southern girls know their prime real estate: The Mall The Country Club The Beauty Salon Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins: Having bad hair and nails Having bad manners Cooking bad food More Southern-ism's: Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them. _____ Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." _____ Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder." _____ Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly." _____ Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. _____ All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. _____ Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! _____ Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20. _____ Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. _____ No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. _____ A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. _____ Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line,". We talk to everybody! _____ Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage. _____ In the South, y'all not is singular, y'all is plural. _____ Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. _____ Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. _____ When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! _____ Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. ____ And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way. _____ To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart! _____ And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language! _____ And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could." Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah ! Now.. .... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been! If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could! May this day bring you joy! Harv..this speak loud and true to this southern girls heart! Thanks > I thought y'all might enjoy this humor. > [quoted text clipped - 180 lines] > We know you got here as fast as you could! > May this day bring you joy! When we were in Wisconsin during the "Korean Conflict", there were so many of us southerners (from Georgia) that one of the stores ordered grits for us. Sure good! Gwen Harv..this speak loud and true to this southern girls heart! Thanks > I thought y'all might enjoy this humor. > [quoted text clipped - 180 lines] > We know you got here as fast as you could! > May this day bring you joy! It's so hard to imagine a store not carrying grits! They are so essential to a balanced breakfast!  SignatureNavy Take out the FISH to email me. > When we were in Wisconsin during the "Korean Conflict", there were so many > of us southerners (from Georgia) that one of the stores ordered grits for [quoted text clipped - 195 lines] >> We know you got here as fast as you could! >> May this day bring you joy! >It's so hard to imagine a store not carrying grits! They are so essential >to a balanced breakfast! Okay, I'll bite, (or maybe not). Just what are grits? I was visiting cousins in Florida once and certainly saw some different foods. One that really revolted me was boiled peanuts! They did get me to try something bland and white. Was that grits? Joan it might have been....but bland I say not..:o) You have to add goodies to them..like cheese, or bacon goodies, I have seen them even eaten with shrimp. Some will put sugar and butter on them. >>It's so hard to imagine a store not carrying grits! They are so essential >>to a balanced breakfast! [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Joan >>It's so hard to imagine a store not carrying grits! They are so >>essential [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Joan Probably. Grits are similar to polenta. Though polenta in usually made from yellow corn and grits usually made from white corn. In a lot of places where a great deal of corn is used in the diet, dried corn kernels are treated to remove the outer layer. Usually by soaking in some sort of lye and then rinsing. The resulting kernels are known by a lot of different names, hominy and or grits being two. They are usually then dried. They can be ground into course meal or a finer flour. They can be rehydraed and used as a side dish or added to soups and stews. The course meal is cooked in the south and served in dozens of different ways, but most often as a side at breakfast like fried potatoes would be or by the bowl like oatmeal. Add some butter and salt and cheese and you have southern heaven. The finer flour is best known as the basis of tortillas and tamales. That is sold where flour is sold and called mesa harina. Jo Since I have a sensitivity to dairy products, my grits' heaven is still there with butter and salt and a touch of pepper. mmmmm SignatureNavy Take out the FISH to email me. > >>>It's so hard to imagine a store not carrying grits! They are so [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > > Jo Navy, I'm with you. Butter and salt, and I like mine sort of soft, not stiff! Gwen Since I have a sensitivity to dairy products, my grits' heaven is still there with butter and salt and a touch of pepper. mmmmm SignatureNavy Take out the FISH to email me. > >> On Thu, 1 May 2008 08:43:38 -0400, "Navy" [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > > Jo Butter, salt, pepper and a splash of soy sauce Yum! > Navy, I'm with you. Butter and salt, and I like mine sort of soft, not > stiff! [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] >> >> Jo >Probably. Grits are similar to polenta. Though polenta in usually made >from yellow corn and grits usually made from white corn. Thanks, that is probably what it was. I have to admit I couldn't eat it, though. Joan >>Probably. Grits are similar to polenta. Though polenta in usually made >>from yellow corn and grits usually made from white corn. > > Thanks, that is probably what it was. I have to admit I couldn't > eat it, though. Its funny isn't it what people are used to and what they aren't. I can well imagine how grits look and taste to someone unfamiliar with them. But many of those same people just love oatmeal (or porridge as my grandma called it) Then you have those that consider tofu a staple, or taro root, etc. Jo > I can well imagine how grits look and taste to someone unfamiliar with > them. But many of those same people just love oatmeal (or porridge as my [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Jo Hhhhm, all good withssss,,, I love em as a side dish to french toast and bacon with hot back coffee. In the New Orlens areaa, that coffee will make you hair stand up,,,, in Ala. and Miss. and maybe Ga,,, you get things like the fried green tomatoes on the side also with eggs the way you want them. I do love breakfast on the road and sitting in the square of little towns that I never heard of and soak up the people and the feel of a town. Life is not quite in as big of a rush and people still have honest time for one another. Harv Ps lets not forget,,, I do deeclaraaa its good to see you again. Lets sit down an katchup. Apparently once a southern girl, always a southern girl as well. There was an internet quiz a year or so ago on how 'southern' you were. I got very high marks. Born in Washington DC. (It IS south of the Mason Dixon line) and lived in Virginia quite a bit. So I sent it on to my cousin in Boston. She was born in Richmond and lived there till she was about four. From there she moved to Trinidad and as an adult has mostly lived in New England. But she passed the test even more southern than I did. I love traveling in the 'old south'. And come home with an accent that takes months to go away. Jo > I thought y'all might enjoy this humor. > [quoted text clipped - 180 lines] > We know you got here as fast as you could! > May this day bring you joy! |
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