The Twenty and the One

A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar
bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired.  As they moved
along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation.

The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the
country.  "I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed.  "Why
I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New
York, performances of Broadway, and even a cruise to the Carribbean."

"WOW!" said the the one-dollar bill. "You've really had an exciting
life."

"So tell me," asks the twenty, "where have you been throughout your
lifetime?"

The one-dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church,
the Baptist Church, the Lutheran Church....."

The twenty-dollar bill interrupts, "What's a church?"

                       THE BEST WAY TO PRAY

A priest, a minister, and a guru sat discussing the best positions for
prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby.

"Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said.

"No," said the minister.  "I get the best results standing with my
hands outstretched to Heaven."

"You're both wrong," the guru stated.  "The most effective prayer
position is lying down on the floor."

The repairman could contain himself no longer.  "Hey, fellas," he
interrupted, "the best praying I ever did was when I was hanging upside
down from a telephone pole."

... I used to pray for miracles; now I pray for tommy's departure.    
___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.12